7mo old - what to do about missed naps?

[carmenalecia]

Quick question - if LO misses a nap entirely (say from being in the car and starting to nap, but then getting home and getting woken up and not wanting/being able to get back to sleep), what should do about the next nap time? My DD is almost 7 months and our day looks like this:

Between 6:30 and 7 WU
E 7am
S 9am
E 11am
S 1:30pm
E 3pm
CN (sometimes) between 5 and 6 (usually for 20 to 30 min)
E 7pm
BT 7:30pm
DF between 10:30 and 11pm

Lately, when I am out running errands and she falls asleep in the car or stroller, I just can't get her settled and back into a sleepy state when we get home. I try to keep her awake during her A times, but sometimes (especially if I'm driving) it is impossible. I know she is way OT when it's time for her next nap. Surprisingly, she is still sleeping pretty well at night, often only waking up just before her DF at 10:30 or 10:45pm. Then she's been sleeping through to after 6am. So, any advice on what to do about the napping? Keep her up until the next nap time? Let her nap when she is rubbing her eyes and getting fussy? I'm hesitant to mess with our EASY because it's really been working for us since starting almost a month ago. Many thanks!

[carmenalecia]

Anyone have any advice? It happened again today - she fell asleep for about 5 minutes in the car on the way home for her nap, and then I couldn't get her settled again in her crib to nap. So, she ended up going almost 6 hours (minus the 5 minutes) without a nap. Should I just adjust the whole day and let her go down whenever rather than wait until her next nap time? I feel like we are falling into a bad habit here ... Help?

[Straffles]

I'm not sure I can advise, since my LO would NEVER just drop off to sleep.

But, I understand that the key thing is to have a restorative nap of 1.5 hours, so keeping her awake until she's tired enough to sleep for this amount of time is really important.

I'm thinking too that if she's having a five minute cat nap, you'll need to adjust her next AT to her next nap and that's a difficult one - some of the more experienced ladies on this forum should have an answer.

But my feeling in the end is, is it at all possible for you to stop her falling asleep at these times so that she can have a full AT and a good nap?

[carmenalecia]

Thanks for your reply, Straffles. I do think that I will have to try to NOT have her fall asleep in the stroller or car during her A times - as hard as that may be. I've had to turn up the radio and sing, or repeatedly raise and lower the window next to her car seat in order to keep her awake.  Overall, we're really just getting the hang of this napping thing. Our LO was really lacking any kind of schedule for the first 6 months of her life, so everything is progress right now. Others on this forum have advised that it is less about a scheduled nap time at this age and more about gently increasing the A times. We're learning ...

[Papaya]

I agree hun, I would try to avoid her taking those little catnaps as much as possible - they just get even more problematic as LO gets older! But that's not always possible - so if it happens I would shorten the next A time to avoid OT. If it's only a 5 min nap, she might be ready to go down as soon as an hour later

Another thing to try if she does drop off in the car and it's about nap time anyway...can you leave her in the carseat until she's been sleeping for 20 mins? She'll be in a deeper sleep then and it might be easier to transfer her to the crib.

[carmenalecia]

Thanks Papaya. Good advice. Will try.

I'm still a little unsure about what to do about my whole day EASY (sorry, months of sleep deprivation!).  If the day starts off with a bad nap that only lasts 20 min (like this morning at 9am - we figure due to teething) and she just won't go back down within that 2 hour nap time, I don't then keep her up until her next nap (at 1pm)? Or do I adjust the whole day so that she naps when she is ready (so she isn't OT or UT)? Papaya, you say that she might be ready to go down as soon as an hour later after a 5 min nap. I'm guessing that is the answer to my question?

[Straffles]

Definitely work with ATs and not fixed nap times.

The trick of course is that, when you get short naps, you have to adjust those ATs accordingly. I have heard that the rule of thumb is to subtract the nap time from 1 1/2hrs and then subtract what's left from the normal AT. So, if you get a 30 minute nap, your next AT should be around an hour less than normal. It's just a guideline really and sometimes it works for me and sometimes not.

[Papaya]

Yes, go by A times rather than what the nap time *should* have been. As straffles said, some people find it works well to subtract the amount of missed nap from the A time. I usually found that if the nap was at least an hour, my LO could manage about a full A time regardless, perhaps just 5-10 mins shorter. But if the nap is really really short, 5-10 mins in the car, I would just watch out for the next sleepy window which might come quite quickly - so then it's like that nap is late, rather than the next one being early iyswim. At this age, she'll probably be ok if her next feed is a bit later than usual, especially if she's had some solids in that awake time. Otherwise you could give her a little top-up of milk before the nap to tide her over.

[carmenalecia]

Thank you so much for the clarifications - finally this all makes more sense.  It's all about catching the cues. Which I'm noticing right now as she rubs her eyes for her first nap soon ... have a great weekend!

[Papaya]

It's all about catching the cues.

Exactly! Hope you have a lovely weekend too.

[carmenalecia]

Well, the missed naps continue ... and I'm getting a little concerned that we are regressing. Or thinking it could be teething? Or developmental? I've tried to increase her A time in the last couple days, with some poor results. For instance, today, she was up at 7 (after a couple of NW at 4, 5, and 6am) and I didn't put her down for her first nap until 9:50. She went down pretty easily but was up in 30 min's and wouldn't go back down again. So I put her in our running stroller and went out for a run. She fell asleep for an hour in the stroller (from 12 to 1). We were out running errands this afternoon, so she didn't sleep again until 4:45 - and for just over 30 min's - again, in her stroller. She went to sleep for the night by 7:45 - quite happily, no crying. Weird thing is that she was really pleasant all day today - very little crying, lots of giggles and playing, happy! On about 2 hours of naps. We've had so many other days where I stay in her room, forcing a nap on her when she really doesn't seem to want one. On those days, as soon as I decide that she just won't nap, I open her door with her in my arms and she literally smiles and coos - as if to say, 'Yes! It's time to play!'. Those days are much more stressful for both of us. Today, I decided that I would have a run and not stress if she fell asleep in the stroller. That I would go out to run errands and let her sleep when she wanted. It was really a good day - other than the fact that I felt she should have been napping longer. 

BUT I have a great concern that I'm letting her sleep on the go, rather than in her crib - and starting to get too lenient about the napping. I've been trying really hard to keep her napping consistently in her crib - and shooting for 1.5 to 2 hours in both the morning and afternoon. But, I also have a great desire to not be 'one of those' parents that can't go out or do anything when her baby has to nap. I've always hated that. But, right now, I hate not STTN more (or not getting more than 30 minutes of time without baby in the day).  What should I do? Does it sound like we are regressing? Am I setting up some accidental parenting again?