EASY or sleep issue for a 3week old

[confusedmummy]

Hello all,

Not sure if this is a sleep issue, or easy issue. Please move if I've posted on the wrong board.

My DD is coming up to 3 weeks old and is currently on no easy routine, although I would love to get her on one just not sure what it should look like, any suggestions would be much appreciated.

However my current issue is that lately she will not let me put her down. I try to do it while she is awake but she will fuss and cry straight away, both day and night. If I shush pat she will calm down but when I put her down she starts again. She is in moses basket so its impossible to continue once she is lying down, I cannot get to her back. She is not swaddled as she always manages to somehow get her arms out. Today she has spent at least two hours awake which is way too much for her but she just wouldn't settle. I'm not really sure what else to do. The funny thing is this is child two, but I didn't start with BW till he was at least 6 months and which point we had done so much AP it was a nightmare to sleep train or stick to EASY.

Thank you so much in advance x

[RachelC]

I am going to pop this over to general sleep as you want to focus more on getting to sleep than the EASY.  EASY can wait another month or so (but as you know from experience, you probably don't want to wait 6 months ).

[confusedmummy]

Any advice ladies? X

[confusedmummy]

Just bumping up. Not sure if anyone can help?

[Buttonbobs]

Hi, I'm sorry I don't have any immediate advice to give but didn't want to read and not post anything. Do you think there could be any issues such as discomfort or wind keeping your LO awake? Are you BF or bottle feeding & how is the feeding going? Is your LO using a dummy or anything else to aid with settling down. Is the Moses basket in the room with you or in a bedroom during the day? When LO does sleep is she upright on your or lying flat?

Sorry for all the questions. When DD was tiny I did hold her to sleep a fair bit and pretty much the only rule I tried to stick with was not feeding to sleep. I then moved over to try & get her into more of an easy once she was a couple of months old. I note that you are concerned about APOP as you feel this led to difficulties with your DS, but it might just help to get your DD rested enough after a couple of days to settle into a better pattern. What do you think?

Hugs xx

[confusedmummy]

Hiya, thanks for replying.

Not sure if wind keeping awake. She is taking infacol and on the whole burps after feeds, but not always. She is FF as I had issues with BF. She feeds well although at night its now hit and miss as to how much some feeds its only 60ml as she will fall asleep and not take anymore. Her nights have actually got better she will generally go back to sleep after feeds, but her daytime sleep and BT have got worse.

She used to sleep downstairs in a bouncer that laid flat during day, but in the last couple of days she cannot seem to go off with the noise and lights etc but then she wouldn't settle unless you held her so I started bringing her up to her Moses basket in our room to put her down. The thing is I cannot leave the room because she won't settle, I do shh/pat and have been swaddling but she seems to get angry when she can't move her arms. I've tried a dummy but she cannot keep it in long enough to settle so when it comes out she cries.

 She has now been awake for An hour and a half and I have been trying to get her to sleep for an hour but everytime she is put down she fidgets and then starts crying, sometimes rocking the Moses will help but when you stop she starts. I know she is OT but I just don't know how to get her to sleep sooner to stop her from getting OT. I also have a three year old and I don't have the time to spend an hour and a half or longer getting her to nap. I really don't know what to do :-( x

I have another question, how long should she be sleeping for at this age during the day? She is feeding pretty much anywhere between 2-3hrs if she wakes early she will want to eat after 2 otherwise and pretty much mainly at night, she will eat every 3. So if she has 45mins/1hr A time including feeding that would mean a 2hr nap (if I can get her to sleep within the hour) is that too much or about right. I'm trying to get her to bed at 7 with hopefully 12hr night (obviously feeding every three hours at mo) then WU at 7 so then naps at 7.45/8- 9.45/10am, 10.45/11- 12.45/1pm, 2.45/3pm- 4.45/5pm then I guess 45min CN so i can do BT at 7. That's 6h45min day sleep, too much or not enough? X

[Fiver]

Hi again

Has the clicking/dribbling with the bottle sorted itself out now?  If not, she could be taking in additional air with the milk that is getting trapped somewhere along the way (tongue ties can be pesky with BF AND FF).

I found with Infacol that it made DS's wind bubbles too big and although he was burping he still ended up having more stuck in there.

Do you think she'd sleep in a sling in the more upright position rather than laying flat?  That would give you the opportunity to do things hands-free with your 3yo as well.

[confusedmummy]

Hi Amanda,

No the clicking and dribbling are still there when feeding, and to top it all off I think she has colic. Tonight and last night as I tried to put her to bed around 7/7.30 she has cried and cried well screamed and screamed. I tried burping, feeding, rubbing her tummy, but she would not stop, the only thing that stops her is to take her downstairs, and after a few mins she settles, not sleeps but stops crying, or tonight the dummy but everytime it came out she started again. Tonight I have been trying for 2 hrs. She was fine downstairs for nearly 30 mins then the minute I brought her up to bed again she started. So I don't know if it is colic or just OT. My DS had colic and pretty much nothing would stop him for at least an hour, not even moving from one room to another. Its like she doesn't want to go to bed.

it has just taken me 2.5hrs and she has finally gone down (touch wood), but she was so tired, she polished off a bottle and pretty much fell asleep in arms, although she is now fidgeting and moaning a little. Not sure what to do to help her x

[Fiver]

Could be that there's extra air going in and not coming up, but getting stuck going down.  DD had terrible bottom wind at around the same age (ish).

Big hugs.  Would it be worth exploring the TT division again if there are still issues with FF?

[confusedmummy]

I feel like all  I am doing with my life is putting children to bed. DD just will not settle, or when she does, by lying in me she will not stay asleep. I try to put her in her bed for each nap, after I have finally managed to get her to go to sleep on me, but she will wake after about 20mins, if that. She seems to take over an hour to settle esp when there is any noise or light, but takes almost as long if I try in a dark quiet room, and with my DS I just cannot spend the time away from him, he needs constant attention.

I don't know what to try anymore, she won't sleep in a sling, or be swaddled. She just gets so OT I think that's why, but even when I feed her and put her straight down she still won't sleep. I know its probably just because of her age but I don't know what to do for best. I had such trouble with DS I'm scared to just APOP to get her to sleep. But is that what I have to do? Should I just hold her till she falls into a deep sleep then try to put her down? How can I get her back to sleep when she wakes after 20mins? I don't know what to do for best.

[Buttonbobs]

Big hugs sweetie. IIWM I would probably try to APOP a bit to get her caught up on sleep & then you can try to put her down a bit more when she's caught up. I didn't worry too much about holding to sleep until DD was a few weeks older, but she's my only LO & I'm sure it's harder when you have another child to look after too. Can you rock back to sleep at all when she wakes at 20mins? It does sound like discomfort to me. DD also had trouble with wind getting stuck going down because she would rarely burp.

[Fiver]

What sort of sling/positioning in a sling have you tried?  Some are more conducive to sleeping than others

[confusedmummy]

Thanks guys, after only an hour (not all in one go) sleep from 7.30 to 12, and my DS refusing to nap i decided to go for a car drive. I managed to get at least 1 child to sleep, DD slept for about 3hrs, then after a feed she slept for a further 2.5hrs. My DP was around tonight, so I managed to get him to put DS to bed whilst I tanked DD up with loads of milk, and winded her loads. I only had about 20mins of crying, although putting her to bed still wasn't easy but it only took about 30 mins as opposed to the usual 1hr+ . She has stirred after 45mins but so far haven't had to go up (probably will now I've typed that).

Tomorrow DP is working late so I have to put DS to bed on own, so I'm going to get the swing out that I swore I wouldn't use, as it was the biggest prop with DS, but this time I will only use for the time it takes me to put him to bed, and hopefully it will keep her settled.

Amanda- in terms if slings I have the bubba sling which I just think is so uncomfortable. Not sure which position as I lost the instructions that told me all the different types. The thing is when she is OT even holding her in any position doesn't work to settle her x
 

[Fiver]

This may sound like a daft question, but are you making sure to tie as tightly as you can?  Often OT babies will struggle and cry to start with in a wrap, but once they're in, just conk out.  If you're finding it uncomfortable, it may just be that you're not tying at an optimum, which could be why LO isn't comfy there either.  If you google front wrap cross carry and stretchy wrap, you should find some great videos demonstrating how to tie that.

Could she still be in some discomfort too?  Any refluxy symptoms?

[enna77]

Hi there just had to chip in as we're having similar prob with 4 week old once OT impossible to get to sleep!

I wouldn't worry too much about APing as it's near impossible to get a very OT baby to self settle anyway so priortise getting her to sleep first. If you want to continue with dummy I found with my first DD having a piece of muslin through the dummy handle can help hold in place. Unfortunately my second DD won't take the dummy altho I've spent a fortune on numerous different types.

I find white noise & very dark room helps. I usually swaddle one arm out but when OT I do both she doesn't like it but it helps. I find the biggest challenge is getting them to stay asleep sometimes if I'm watching her & catch her at the 10 min wake up & gently jig, shush/pat, rock or whatever you're doing she will go back to sleep, last nite I was holding her & had to do this twice but then she went into deep sleep. Basically trying to help stop them completely waking up & getting worked up again.

I certainly haven't mastered it we have anywhere from 2 to 7 hours of these witching periods a day

Good luck & re A times look for tired signs but usually no more than 45-1hr. My DD can be yawning after 30mins sometimes.