How has today been?
So, at least you know first A time/nap are spot on! That's good
As for the second A time/nap, I would perhaps try 2h45...he's getting to the age where LOs are wanting to drop the catnap and some will refuse it after a certain point in the day. So if he's going there, it could be a sign that he's just ready for more A time across the board. How do you know he's OT for the 2nd nap? Is it just napping for 45 minutes? If so, I would say that's actually an UT nap. What do you think about trying 2h45 for that 2nd A time? So...a day like this:
Awake 7 (just using this as a starting point--adjust to your LO's day)
A: 2.5h
S: 9:30-11 (1.5h)
A: 2h45
S: 1:45-3:15 (1.5h)
A: 2h30
Catnap...you can *try* to squeeze one in from 5:45-6, though he'll probably fight it bc he could be UT. If he doesn't do EBT well and doesn't tack on sleep in the AM, you can squeeze in a really short catnap and then do bedtime by 8pm
His nursery is on the second floor (my studio is in the lowest level) and we have white noise so unless someone is screaming-he cannot hear what is going on in my studio.
Ah, I love white noise
How dark is his room? Any chance that it's too light?
Each day bedtime is different. I feel like we should be close to having the same time schedule each day but it is always so different. IMPOSSIBLE to make plans.
I always looked at bedtime as much more fluid than wake-up time. Bedtime is adjustable depending on the day, but I suspect that some of the issues you're having are just part of your DS getting ready to drop the catnap. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you're doing everything else, ya know?
What also frustrates me is that everyone I know denies that their kiddo has issues sleeping. Seriously, I know that I cannot be the only parent in our area struggling with these issues. And then they look at me as though I am doing something wrong, or are disappointed in me that I am complaining about his sleep after struggling to have children in the first place for close to 7 years.
*hugs* You are DEFINITELY NOT the only parent whose child needs help sleeping. This site and the sleep boards are proof of that, lol! A lot of parents who say they don't have any issues either have a baby who is just so easy, it's not fair; they're sugarcoating things; or the "issues" just truly aren't issues to them. Don't worry about them. Do what's best for your little one. Eventually, I promise, you will not remember the struggle of these days. I remember my son did not sleep longer than 45min at a time for his naps for 2/2.5 months. I extended every nap and never got anything done. Sat in his dark room for soooooo long, day after day. He grew out of it, and honestly, I would give anything to be able to snuggle him at that age again. Hindsight is so much easier when we're not in the thick of it. You'll both get through this and it will be something new.