9 month old suddenly crying before bed and in the night...separation anxiety?

[Scoops2624]

My LO will be nine months old this week. 5 weeks ago we managed to wean the dummy from bed time (she keeps it for naps at daycare) with good success but in the last two weeks she will not settle on her own and needs us to be with her in the room and sometimes with our hand on her chest or back.

At first we thought it was teething but it has not got any better. It takes 10 to 20 mins for her to settle but eventually she does. I just don't understand why she has started crying. Also not sure if this is linked she has woken up crying three times in the night this week, including last night. It has taken for me to hold her in my arms to get her back to sleep as talking to her or placing my hands on her has not calm her. This is a bit more difficult for me to work out as this is the first time she has NW since we weaned the dummy.

Is this developmental or something else? Please help as I am stumped. Bed time is becoming stressful and the NW are very intense as she is very difficult to calm and resettle. I am worried that I will create another prop situation. If anyone has any clues, I would appreciate your thoughts as I hate the thought of her crying every night.

The more I read the more I think it is night time separation anxiety. LO goes to daycare 4 days per week and we do not have any problems.

Just in case this helps our EASY looks like this:

E: 06:30 Milk
E: 07:30 Breakfast
S: 10:00 1.5 hours
E: 11:30 Milk
E: 12:30 Lunch
S: 15:00 1.5 hours
E: 16:30 Milk
E: 17:30 Dinner
BT: 19:30

She has always been low sleep needs at night, always 10.5 to 11 hours average.

[greenlady]

Hi Scoops
Just read this as we have had a similar problem. My ds is 9 months and has been sleeping really well for months (4 hr easy) For a few nights he's been really cranky, needs milk to settle and wakes up 4 or 5 times a night.  ...but he's fine during the day. We woke up on Saturday to find he had a tooth!
So, it may not be SA

[becj86]

Could be developmental: http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/your-babys-10-leaps/mental-leap-6

Could be teething.

Could be routine - How is she behaving at BT and NW's? Is she wanting to play or wanting to sleep but can't?

[Scoops2624]

 It stopped for a day or so but it's been back again for a while. She is happy all day, sleeping well at naps (with a dummy) but as soon as we put her to bed she starts grumbling. She will turn her head to the side and lie on her side as if she is going to sleep but won't settle. It's taking between 30-45 mins to settle each BT sometimes the same during the night.

Totally stumped. 

[becj86]

Might be time to cut a bit of day sleep. You could try capping your PM nap at 45min-1hr (and extend your A times a bit to help keep the day a decent length) and see where that gets you, she may settle better at BT with a shorter PM nap and a longer A to BT.

[Scoops2624]

I had a similar thought. Tried it yesterday but will keep up and see what happens. Just noticed this morning that her front middle teeth seem to be making an appearance as well so may be this is contributing to the whole situation. My DH agrees that she does seem a bit too lively to be going bed at the moment.

I will very gradually increase the AM A time and cap the PM nap and see how things develop. Will keep you posted. I just think its very funny that for many months I was so focused on making sure she had good naps in the day and now potentially it's too much. Our LOs keep us on our toes!

[becj86]

I just think its very funny that for many months I was so focused on making sure she had good naps in the day and now potentially it's too much.

Happens to a lot of us

They do indeed keep us on our toes.

[lcporders]

Sounds like my son is a few weeks younger than your LO.  We've had some similar issues...waking up standing during the night and having much more trouble going back to sleep.  It'll seem like he tries for a while, then quits and wants to play.
Also, when he can't sleep, he cries hard if we leave the room - a fairy shrill, urgent cry.  Sometimes has taken us 1.5 hrs to get him back to sleep! Other times, he'll go back to sleep but wake not long after.  Never used to have this problem. 

Just like you, people have advised that he needs more A time and less nap time...and I've been trying to extend the naps for months!..I actually still don't think he's getting enough, as he starts yawning and rubbing his face shortly thereafter. But, he's at day care for his naps, so there is a limit to how much I can do..

And, a final similarity - there are so many other factors! He's had a cold for 3+ weeks, so he always coughs when he wakes up. Maybe his throat hurts. Often it effortful for him to breathe.  He's had two teeth pop through during this same time, and is currently working on 2 more.  Another is right behind it.  He's been constipated.  I dropped his night feed...Really, I wouldn't have guessed it could be so complicated!

[Scoops2624]

Icporders you are 100% correct there are so many things going on at this age it is hard to figure out what is going on. We have managed to extend A time but it's not really making much difference to the settling at night situation. I am working on the theory that the main driver of the going to sleep at BT is SA. This is really only by a process of elimination......A times now ok and in between teething right this second so must be something else.

I am trying walk in walk out to settle at BT. We have gone from 45 mins sometimes to settle to about 25 mins. I must look funny bobbing up and down behind the end of her cot to be in and out of view but hey anything is worth it to get back to peaceful BT. She is still waking at about 1am but seems to be easier to settle.

Next I guess her top teeth will start up again and we will be all upside down again. Never a dull moment that's for sure! Just otta keep smiling. good luck.