8 mo won't settle - just plays and kicks around (also addicted to shush pat...)

[amateursuch]

Hello - I'm new here and in dire need of help. Apologies in advance that this will be long.

We've got a few things going on. DD is a lovely happy chilled baby. So chilled in fact that when put down for a nap, she doesn't cry, nor does she sleep but she kicks around and babbles on and on and on. So I've ended up shush patting her to sleep and she's become addicted and her naps are getting increasingly short...  I think she's also in the throws of 3-2. Her tired signs are pretty much non existant.

How do I sort this?? IF she was crying, I'd use PUPD but she's not.

Our nights are ok - she takes a while to settle at bedtime - 30 mins at least of fidgeting and yipping and babbling - but then has generally been sleeping till around 5ish, feeding and then (hopefully/sometimes) going back to sleep.

Our EASY is all over the place as she wakes at different times but I'll post an example. Our A times are sort of 2hrs 15/  2hrs 30/ 2 hrs 30 (if we manage to get the CN) and then about 3.5 (although I try and put her down earlier, she often just plays until that time and falls asleep - see below)

Woke: 6.30 (although could have been a bit earlier)
E: 7 - bf then breakfast
S: PD at 8.27; asleep (patting) 8.33 - woke at 9 and couldn't resettle
E: 11 bf and snack
S: PD at 11.25 - patted to sleep by 11.45. Awake at 12.13 and couldn't resettle
E: 13:00 - lunch followed by quick bf
S: PD at 14.19 and patted to sleep by 14.40. Woke at 15.00 and resettled. Slept till 4.
E: 17: 00 - dinner and bf before bed
S: PD: 18.35. Asleep (independently) by 19:15

I know its a mess and I just don't know where to start. Sort the EASY first, and then try and leave her to it to learn to sleep independently? Or do both at once? And what if she just plays for all her naps and never sleeps?? Argghhh.

Words of wisdom very much appreciated.

Thank you. 

[ZacsMumme]

Heya
I think your LO is ready for an A increase. Those short naps at this age, and after that length A time sound like UT, then after a few LO gets OT by BT.

It's great your LO sleeps independently at BT, it shows she is capable, a d once your EAsY A times are right she will probably drop off quicker.

Do you have NW? D you feed at night at all still?

I would try gradually increasing her A times closer to 3 hrs, do the first A and if you gets good nap then you an increase the next A. If not then keep the second A short and offer the CN if needed.

You want to aim for something like this
WU 6.30
Nap 9.15/9.30 for 1.5 hrs or so
Nap 1.45/2 for 1.5-2 hrs
BT 7-7.30

What do you think Hun?

[scruffymax]

Yep I think Sara is right - they are quite short A times for her age!  My LO is coming up to 9 months and has been on 2 naps since just over 6 months.

[amateursuch]

Thank you both very much. She's still having one night feed - at about 4.30/5.

I've been worried that her short Naps were OT so have been reluctant to extend her A but sounds like I need to rethink my approach.

Should I work on extending the As before I wean her off shush pat? Or do both together?

She woke at 7 this morning and I put her down at 9.15 (she seemed pretty tired). Shes still awake but getting cross on and off now 20 minutes later but no sign of settling. Not sure whether to leave her a bit longer or go in and shush pat... Tomorrow should I be aiming for a 2.30 put down to try and get those extensions? Or even later - say 2.45? She's likely to be up that long today anyway given I think I'm going to have to go in and shush pat her now

[ZacsMumme]

What is her personality?
The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
If angel/textbook I would jump to 3 hrs. Keep her distracted till then and then try to PD. I would keep shh/pat to he settle ...you calories on this after her A times are right

[amateursuch]

I think she's probably textbook with a bit of spirited.

Thanks to your advice we had better naps yesterday than we've had in ages.

An hour in the morning following what ended up being a 3 hr A time once I'd settled her, and almost 2 hours in the afternoon (with a very brief resettle at the 1 hr 10 mark) following a 3 hour A!!

And this morning I put her down at 2 hrs 30 A, and she wiggled, babbled and whinged for 20 minutes and then self settled!!!

I know it's early days but I definitely feel like we're headed in the right direction. Thank you so so much. I hope you don't mind if I update a bit over the next few days?

[ZacsMumme]

keep me posted Hun
Great news, on the naps
AND the self settling. 20 mins is common at this age as well so don't be disheartened a out that time to settle. Key is she did settle, and you can try those A times again tomorrow! X

[amateursuch]

Thanks! Well things are ok. We've had a couple of unusual night wakings but she's settled fairly easily- don't know if they are due to some OT as she gets used to longer As, or teeth or the cold she's got - or all 3

The longer As are working I think. Morning nap at about 2 hrs 45 she has self settled and given me around an hour, which is ok for her. Afternoon nap - again she's self settling at the 15/20 minut mark at around 3 hours but got a 40 minute job. Managed to resettle her and she slept for another 45. Wonder if I should push that one a tiny bit more? Might wait until she's over her cold first I think.

[amateursuch]

Argh! Spoke too soon. Only 30 mins for her morning nap and some crying when she went down. A time was 2.45. Could she need shorter times with her horrid cold?

[amateursuch]

More crying for her second nap. So unlike her poor thing. Think she must be OT and I'm stretching her too much. A time was 3 hrs 5 mins for last nap because it took her a long while to settle and I knows it's going to be short.

[Papaya]

Poor wee thing If she's unwell she may need shorter A times (I know I do!). Or the congestion could be making her uncomfortable when she lies down - I have used a saline spray with my LO when she was congested and that helped a lot (she wasn't at all keen on it at the time though )

The cold symptoms could be related to the teething too - have you tried giving pain meds before naps?

Hope she's feeling better soon xx

[amateursuch]

Thanks. She woke after 25 minutes by coughing but ive managed to resettle her. I think I will pull her A times back a bit tomorrow and dose her up. Will have a go with saline- horrible memories of try to get her brother to hold still while I squirt!

[amateursuch]

Ugh. It's all going wrong just when I thought we were making progress.. Maybe she was sleeping better because she had a bug in her system and nothing to do with scheduling changes?! I really hope not.

I reduced her A this morning and put her down at 2 hours 20. She didn settle just played an got hyper so I ended up patting her to sleep around the 3 hour mark and she woke coughing after 25 minutes.

I don't whether just to abandon helping her self settle and playing with A times until she's better. The snot and cough make things so much harder.

[Papaya]

I'd say put things on hold for a bit until she's feeling better - and just APOP as needed to help her rest. When she's well it'll come right again

xx