10 month old waking 4-12 times a night. Help

[Jens_01]

Last night was particularly bad. She was up a dozen times between 10:30 and 6 am. She was asleep by 7:30 though. She had good A time 3 1/2 to 4 hrs in general. Some nights she wakes only once to eat but most nights she's up at least 3 times. She does use a pacifier and tends to need repluggingHello. However lately she also needs to be patted to sleep. I've been using BW since she was 6 weeks old. Should she not be sleeping better by now? Also her naps are garbage as well. She is swaddled for naps and is waking after 20-35 min and then almost every 10 min after that. Again she needs to be patted to get back to sleep. What can I do so I can actually get sleep?

[Erin M]

Hi there!
Can you post your daytime routine in this format:
A
E
S
etc...

Also, you could be at the beginning of the 2-1 nap switch -- have a read of this and see what you think: 10 to 12 mth old Sleep Gone Wonky, and the 2 - 1 Nap Switch

[Jens_01]

Her current schedule has her taking a longer first nap (1-1.5 hrs normally) then a car map as describes in the link. Her general schedule looks like this.

A 7:15ish-11:15 ish
E nurse 7:20
E breakfast 9:30
S 11:15-12:30 (long end)
A 12:30-3/3:30
E 12:40
S 3:00-3:25/3:30
A 3:30-7:30
E nurse 3:30/4
E dinner 5:30/6
Wind down and bath 7
E nurse 7:20
S 7:30/7:40
E 4:30 am

[Erin M]

Is she exactly 10 months or closer to 11?
I'd say A times should consistently be 4 hours, maybe more at this age, especially if she's pushing to one nap.
With that many wakings though, I wonder about discomfort of some sort -- teeth?  Food sensitivities? Room temp - something like that. 
Can she replug the paci herself?  She should be able to at this age.  Could you leave more of them si she can find them?  What do you usually do when she wakes?

[Jens_01]

She will be 10 months this week (she was also 3weeks early). She can go longer and miss her afternoon CN but then bedtime is earlier. I cannot seem to get her to longer in the morning so that it would be possible to have one nap mid day. No teething, clean bum, room is cool but she's in her winter sleep sac (fleece/flannel) with a long sleeve sleeper and a onesie on. She can replug during day but refuses to when sleeping (working on this). No food allergies that I can tell.

When she wakes sometimes just putting in paci works ( which is why we are working on replugging). Sometimes though patting is needed.

[Erin M]

Ok, I'd say working on replugging is definitely a good idea!  Also, what if you try capping the AM nap -- do you think you might get a longer PM one then?  My dd1 needed a longer PM nap so we would do a short am with a shorter A time after until she was ready to handle the long A times for 1 nap.  She'll probably need 2 naps for awhile yet -- she's small for 1 nap though she's heading in that direction.

[Jens_01]

Help. So after 10 days of trying to get her to replug herself I feel like I've gotten nowhere. If I show her tr binky or sleepytot binkies she will put it in her mouth. However, no matter how hard I try to guide her hands to the 10 binkies in her crib (both sides, up by her head and by her arm) she will not reach for one by herself. I put her hand right on them and she will not pick it up. She screams till she's hoarse and gagging on spit and won't settle with patting or holding since she's so angry and frustrated I guess. How do I get her to look for and pick one up? How long should it take ti she gets it on her own. She's intelligent and picks up other things so quick but this she's refusing to do! Any advice? Last night was about 8 times of waking before midnight then down till 4 for feed. Then up at 5:30 and 6:30.

[becj86]

If I show her tr binky or sleepytot binkies she will put it in her mouth. However, no matter how hard I try to guide her hands to the 10 binkies in her crib (both sides, up by her head and by her arm) she will not reach for one by herself. I put her hand right on them and she will not pick it up.

Can she see them when you're doing this? What happens if you put one in her hand rather than in her mouth and rather than moving her body for her? DS would've had a similar reaction if I grabbed his hand and 'showed' him how to do it. By putting it in her hand, she's making smaller connections with information:
want dummy in mouth
dummy in hand, can put in mouth
want dummy in hand
dummy in cot, grab dummy

rather than expecting her to make the leap:
want dummy in mouth
move hand around, find dummy, put dummy in mouth

I guess an analogy might be reading - you don't give a kid a chapter book straight off, you teach them gradually with the sounds the letters make, then putting them together for short words, then longer words, then short stories with few words.

Something else to think about is whether she actually wants the dummy... Is there something else going on, like pain? I just find it unusual (I could be totally wrong) that a child who wants a dummy, has 10 in her cot and can see they're there makes no attempt to try to get one. That suggests to me that either she's so conditioned that you go in and replug that its going to take a while to work or she doesn't actually want it. It might meet a need (like if she has reflux, she reduces the pain when she swallows when sucking on the dummy) but it might not be the thing she actually *wants*. I think that given replugging only works sometimes, there's something else at play than just a dummy prop.

[Jens_01]

She can see them during naps as its light enough but not at night even with her night light on. She should be able to see the sleepytot though. She wants the binky since as soon as its in her mouth she calms quickly. No pain. I've tried the put in hand and for the most part she flails around ignoring or pushing away the binky. She will now and then accept it but it takes a long time for her to et there. I'm certain she's just that conditioned to me doing it. Sigh. I guess we are in for a very long haul on this.

[becj86]

I'm certain she's just that conditioned to me doing it.

It has been that way for her entire life

Another thought - are you going in as soon as she wakes? Is she mantra crying or 'I need you' crying? Does her cry escalate when you go in?

[Jens_01]

I wait a few min to see if she'll look for one or settle herself. I only go in once the crying escalates so I don't think it's a mantra cry, to be honest I'm not completely sure how to tell them apart no matter how many descriptions I've read.

[becj86]

Its not particularly easy to tell mantra cries at this age - easier but still not necessarily simple when they're little...

I wonder if you go in before she escalates so she's relatively calm and put the dummy in her hand - maybe she will be more receptive to learning then, yk?

[Jens_01]

It is generally easier to settle her if I go in earlier (I tried this experiment), my concern was I wasn't giving her the opportunity to self settle.

Yesterday looked like this:
Up: 7:00
E: nurse 7:15
E: breakfast 9
A: 7-11:30
S: 11:30-12:35
E: lunch 12:45
E: nurse 3:15
E: dinner 5:30
Bedtime routine: 6:15
E: nurse
S: 7

Up during the night: 12:30, 3:15, 3:30 (nurse), 5:15, 6, 6:15, 6:45.

All required pacifier to be handed to her then an additional 5- 15 min of patting to sleep. I'm toast. The night before up at 4 (nurse), then 7. That was it. I'm so lost. Sigh.

[becj86]

How long has she been on one nap? Is it always that short?

Most LO's this age would be massively overtired with that as their routine and my DS would be struggling to sleep at night due to OT with that routine and he's 18 months.

It is generally easier to settle her if I go in earlier (I tried this experiment), my concern was I wasn't giving her the opportunity to self settle.

Ok, but you're teaching her to self settle using the dummy, so going in early is fine in the early stages of that. Once she's putting the dummy in her mouth after you put it in her hand and maybe when she starts looking for it, that's the time to step back and give her the chance to self settle using the dummy as her comfort item.

[Jens_01]

Normally (ideally) she has a short second nap of about 25-35 min between 3 and 4 but not that day. I've been trying to let her settle after she has her pacifier but she really seems to need patting much of the time. However I'm happy to report that she has looked for her pacifier herself a few times and even once put herself back down after finding and putting it in. It was lovely.