Club for sleep deprived mums of 6 & 7 month olds!

[Jaxsta81]

Hi ladies,
From looking on the forum I think a lot if us are struggling with our 6 & 7 month olds and NWs.

I thought it might be an idea to make a bit of a club offering support and encouragement and any tips you might have discovered along the way.

Who wants to join?!!?

[Jo1stbaby]

Hi,

Can I join, my LO is almost 8 months but I've had terrible issues with nw.  We seem to take 1 step forward and 2 back.  2 nights ago we had s really good night for my LO. Early bed, dream feed at 9pm, wake up at 11pm for ten mins no reason, 3am wake up for bottle.  Then I sat with her for 20 mins at 4.20am to get her past her 4.30 ew, which worked as she slept until 6.20am. 
Last night disaster, nw every hour and 4.30 ew. 

There are so many if us in the same boat and I must admit at 4.30am I have cried from the lack if sleep and the worn out factor. 

[Jaxsta81]

Me too! On Sat morning after 6 wks of my son not sleeping past 4/4.30 am I walked into our bedroom and my husband said "everything ok?" And I just burst into tears and wailed "I am so sick of this! I don't know what I'm doing wrong!!!". My husband got up and gave me a cuddle and said "he's a baby, you're not doing anything wrong" but I can't help feeling like I am.

He is a dream baby in the day, does 2 1.5 hr naps in the day and apart from teething fussing he's no bother. So I know I should take my positives and be thankful for them but so hard when you're so sleep deprived.

This is harder than when he was a newborn!!!

[Jo1stbaby]

I totally agree, Jessica has always been difficult, colic, reflux not sleeping unless APing in arms.  But at night she did always use to sleep well but now it's awful.  What doesn't help is when my sis in law said she shouldn't be waking up at night and shouldn't be having a bottle now and it needs to be sorted.  Does she think we haven't tried?  This coming from the lady who's daughter (she has 4 kids) didn't sleep at all as a baby only in ten minute bouts, I think people have short memories and we need support not putting down an being made out that we are not doing the job right.

Like your husband said your LO is a baby and everyone is different, my friends LO is a day you get but completely different, sleeps a lot and she has no trouble yet he's not long rolled over, my jess has been crawling since 6 months and is cruising around the sofa, bookshelves etc.  my conclusion is she thinks why sleep when there is so much to explore, such different babies.
 

[Jaxsta81]

God I know. My son sat up really early, 5 months, but hasn't done anything else really. Can only roll front to back and not the other way round. Probably a good thing as I'm weaning him off his woombie now and had he rolled sooner we could have had ANOTHER sleep problem to deal with!

They are all different and that's why this is so hard.

I just found a page on here about gradual withdrawal - have you seen it??? Don't know how to do links - think it was in the FAQ bit. I might start doing that for the dummy as I think that's an issue as he needs it to fall asleep most of the time and can't put it back in himself and knocks it out with his one exposed arm (as I say we're weaning him!) and gets all frustrated and ruins any sleepiness he might have been creating!

[Jaxsta81]

Here! Gentle Removal Plan

[Charjanemom]

I will join! We had a sttn baby since 1.5 months old. Only woke once in the night till she turned 6 months. She just turned 7 months and we either have NW or Ew. I'm so tired and also feeling sad cuz I feel like I just can't figure this out! My hubby keeps saying babies aren't robots and she is going to do what she is going to do. Now I keep waking before 530 laying waiting to see if she is going to wake. I feel bad because I think my dd looks tired. I used to have to wake this kid up in the mornings. I just hope it's a phase for all of us. There are too many moms on here with the same issue which makes me think this is partly development.

[Jaxsta81]

It's got to be. I also think teething here is playing a massive part. But I find it hard to believe teething has caused this same problem every night for several weeks-there must be something else at play here. 

It's impossible to not make this about you and what you coulda/shoulda done somewhere along the line. I've been berating myself for giving him a dummy because now I have to get up and put it back in, for starting him on the woombie as now I'm having to wean him off that, for not being able to hear him cry for more than 1 second. BUT I have to remind myself that those props made him a great sleeper from the get go, and have served a great purpose so I shouldn't berate myself or them for now being something we need to think about getting rid of. I was one of those mums that had a sleeping baby at 2 months in his own crib whilst my friends were still talking about co-sleeping and night feeds.

My Dad sleeps very badly and he said to me the other day "when I have a bad night, I just get up at whatever time it is and get on with it and don't think about it again" and I've been trying to adopt this philosophy. I've been getting out and about in the day and acting like I'm fully refreshed and spritely and I do actually think it's really helping my mood because otherwise you could just stay in all day and despair about how sh*t the situation is. Don't get me wrong - I'm not that strong at 4am. I have been known to cry and rock my baby to sleep. 

I also nap when he naps - unashamedly. And I go to bed at 9/9.30pm. My poor hubby. We had to slot in some afternoon loving this weekend as I'd been totally neglecting him!!

[Jaxsta81]

Now I keep waking before 530 laying waiting to see if she is going to wake

I so do this too. I also hear phantom snuffles or noises which jolt me awake. Annoying.com!

[Charjanemom]

I know and my hubby lays there snoring and I'm so jealous that he can sleep. This morning I woke at 330!! Ugh

[Jaxsta81]

Me too - 2.50am, back to sleep for about an hour and stay started at 5.20am. Hubby has only got up once to help out in the night. I'm making him sound like an A-hole but he's really not, he is just like a teenager with his sleep.

[Charjanemom]

Ya it's mommy brain. I guess it can't turn off. Good news here. We had no teething upsets in the night and she woke at 6 rather than 530 but stayed in her crib resting and in and out of sleep till 640. I did wake to sleep at 430 so maybe it worked!??

[missmom]

I'll join! I could really use the support. I'm so sick of helpful mothers saying asinine things like "just try for two long naps" Oh geez why didn't I think of that or "oh well some babies don't sleep"  Well I with he'd tell me how he does it, because I'm a wreak without it. 

I feel like complete RUBBISH at this mom thing.  He doesn't sleep EVER, never has, bad days, bad nights since the first night he was born.  His recovery sleep after 56 hours of labour was only 4 hours for pete's sake!  Should've known I was in for it then.  I've tried everything, you name it I've tried it, swaddle, swing, white noise, gripe water, gas drops, reflux meds (all types, all doses), black out curtains, rocking, co-sleeping, baby wearing, feeding solids, bottle feeding, pacifiers, osteopaths, cluster feeding, dream feeding, teaching him to fall asleep on his own (which he does just fine), making no noise, making plenty of noise, a wide assortment of schedules and activities, humidifiers, a range of sleeping temperatures, tylenol, teething medication (just in case), WTS.  I even spent 5 days at sleep school and all they could say is, my he is a very unsettle baby.  That is super helpful, thank you so much Captain Obvious!

It's just a huge relief to hear of other mothers going through this although I'm blatantly jealous of those of you with nappers, and those of you whose little ones use to sleep.  I'm also terrified when I see a mother with a 15 month old whose still going through this.  The though makes me tear up! God I miss sleep, and showers, and eating hot food...

[Jaxsta81]

Missmom, that sounds horrific!! Poor you!! You really have tried everything!

So, does he just micro nap in the day? Surely he can't not sleep all day?! Is that even humanly possible?

Is he in a good mood with the little sleep?

Do you have friends or family to support you? Where do you live?

Sorry for the questions!!

[Jo1stbaby]

I had a look at that gentle removal plan.  I'm not sure whether to wean the dummy (paci) or not.  She's not overly bothered most of the time and she puts it in herself or yaws it our when she doesn't want it.  I went cold turkey on the swaddle because she started rolling over and getting up on her knees.  Should have done it before but she's such a fighter when it comes to sleep I just thought my bad naps and nights would just be worse.  In actual fact it took a couple of days but he is so much better without it she prefers to sleep on her front and even cries so writes if you put her on her back.

Missmom I am so with you I only just at about 6 1/2 months got my LO to start taking naps, I had to ap and it was a fight all the way just to sleep 1/2 hr. nighties at one point were pretty good I did t do dream feed and shed go to bed at 7pm wake about 12/1pm wake at 7am, that only lasted a matter of weeks now a good night for me is dreamfeed at 9pm (when I put her to bed an hour earlier than normal put her to bed at 6pm), quick wake up at 11pm resettled after 10 mins, bottle at 3pm and then sit there holding her hand or hand on back for 29 mins at 4.20am to get past 4.30 ew and then she slept until 6.20.  When I told someone that they said that's a good night?? Yes it is for Jessica.
Naps are hit and miss today I got a half hour nap then an hour and a half later I got 1 1/2hrs but that's rare.  I so wish there was done magic spell to help them sleep even if it was once a week just so I could catch up.  It's the 4.30am ew in struggling with. I can't nap when she does as she is so unpredictable an half hour is not even worth me trying.

[missmom]

It really is amazing what becomes normal, huh. If you'd a told me a year ago that three hours of sleep in a row would seem like such a luxury I'd have laughed. 

My LO take 30 min naps all day usually between 3-5 depending on how early he's up, etc...  The past couple of days he's decided putting himself to sleep is for losers and he's not going to do it anymore, so were back to 30 minutes of hysterics before each one.  I'm hoping it the regression before things get better, but I've had my hopes up before.   And no he is not in a good mood after those sleeps, he wakes up screaming, he has permanently red eyes, and he's super whiny.  I don't think my poor guy has ever not been OT. 

We're just recently moved back to Virginia from NSW where the LO was born and I do have a lot of support here.  My mom lives close by and takes the baby for a night a week so we can get 8 glorious hours in a row and put the house back together (she is an angel!) and my husband is very supportive and tries to help as much as he can. I don't know how anyone could manage this without ALOT of support. I have all this and I'm still losing my hair.

[mummabearm]

Can I join too?? My boy was 8 mo yesterday, but I am totally experiencing the same thing.

We are ssssllllllooooowwwwwwllllllyyyyyy improving (i think- then again Im not sure). I was just going in and breast feeding him so we could all get back to sleep or sometimes bringing him to bed with me. Now I am up to trying to train him to just get back to sleep with pats and shh shhhshhh. He fought it a lot last night, its almost like standing by the cot makes him worse cause he wants me to pick him up so badly. Its like he just tosses and turns after a sleep cycle and cant get into the next one without me. Sometimes I even hear him fussing after 45 min of sleep but he isnt fully awake just unsettled in his sleep, then he will get back to sleep and then 45 min later the fussing and rolling will be too much he bangs his head on side of cot and really starts crying so I have to go in.

Last night I was crying and at breaking point then he did a 2 and a half hour stint which was like heaven!

This has been sheer hell! I am consumed by this lack of sleep, my house is a pigstye and I am feeling very depressed!

Support of others is so comforting to me

Simone XXX

I have looked at the Pantley methos (Ive read her book) I like her strategies. My lo is off the dummy now, he was never that much of a dummy boy so it was quite easy for us to just stop giving it to him.

[Jaxsta81]

Welcome ladies! It's comforting to know that when we're dealing with our LOs in the middle of the night, somewhere one if us is doing the same!

Missmom-thank goodness for all your support, but you still are doing iron your own 80% of the time. I dont know about you but I feel like I've aged 10 years in 6 months. I rarely we make up anymore, or even moisturise my face, my hair is never down (LO loves to grab it) so I scruffily tie I up most days an i live in track suit bottoms! I try and make more of an effort, even if I'm not going anywhere, just to have a bit of me time and some pride, but easier said than done!

Hi mummabearm-the feed to sleep association I think I remember reading in one of the BW books is one of the hardest to break. That's encouraging that you weaned your LO off the dummy successfully using the Pantly method as I'm beginning to think that's at the core of our problem.

[Charjanemom]

Hi ladies!

Just wondering what A times you are doing right now? We are up to 3.5 hrs which dd seems to manage well with. We are hoping that this will push away the ew we were having but I'm feeling bad because it seems like a lot then last night we got Ot wakes twice

[Jaxsta81]

I'm at 3.25 hrs which is working for us. Unfortunately didn't make any diff to our early starts, but fingers crossed for you!!

I took Leon to our cranial osteopath and he said he had quite a bit of tension in his head which he's released and may make a diff in a week or so. Here's hoping as the next stop is a voodoo doctor! ;-)

[Charjanemom]

Ok that makes me feel better. Charlotte is an angel baby so rarely fusses which I think is making it hard to read if she is ot. I guess I need more patience to wait to see if the Ew totally goes away. It's a good sign she seems tired during them now rather than a hyper party for an hour

[Charjanemom]

Jaxsta- are u finding it hard with these long A times to fit in 2 naps and a decent bedtime? We are. I have been waking her from pm nap so that we aren't in bed past 8pm. We are just struggling to find the right A after a short pm nap.

[Jaxsta81]

I must admit our days are pretty textbook. Even if he gets up early I try to not put him down for his first nap before 8.30am. He's a solid 1.5 hr napper so we are lucky. The next nap is around 1.15pm which takes him through to 2.45pm and I start bedtime around 6pm. He's normally fast asleep by 6.30pm. He was even falling asleep on the bottle tonight.

Could Charlotte be catching up on her sleep in the daytime if she's sleeping more than 3hrs in the day?

[Charjanemom]

Well I don't let nap longer than 3 hrs in the day. But if her day goes like how it shouldas far as nap lengths it gets tricky.
After a few short NW she woke at 705
First nap was at 1015-12(I woke her)
Next nap won't be till 315/330. I'm having to cap this nap to make it to bedtime before 8. She had always been a good am napper. With the big increae in A pm naps are improving.

[mummabearm]

Our first A time is only just 2 hours. He gets very tired in the morning. Depending on how long he has for this first nap- I judge how long the next A time should be. If it is a short nap then usually only 2 hours again and sometimes we will need another nap late afternoon. On average i would say though that the middle of the day A  is approximately 3 hour. Then, after the afternoon nap we do another 3 hours then start bedtime routine.
Usually begin bedtime routine between 630 and 700, asleep within the half hour of starting it.

I have to share with you my mini success from last night. I have been trying my own bleary eyed combo of PU/PD, shush/pat, the pantley method, and the sleep lady shuffle to decrease nw. Last night I managed to get him back to sleep every time without picking him up. I have been so tired that so often I just whacked him on the boob or picked him up to get him back to sleep but after 3 nights of being totally strict on myself it has worked and I never thought it would. He has woken less (every 2 hrs) and gone back to sleep without being picked up. Still a long way to go but I feel so much better 


Simone

[becj86]

Hi ladies,

Just to keep things all in the one place, and given that this thread seems to be related mostly to 3-2 nap transition, can I please refer you to this thread: Anyone want to talk about the 3-2 Nap transition? Part 2

Its wonderful that you've all found some support and commonality here

[Jaxsta81]

Thanks Bec!

And well done Simone!! It's great when you have a success like that-feels like you've won the marathon!! It is all about patience and consistency........once you work out the issue! I bet tonight will get even better.

We definitely have a dummy issue here, so I'm going to work on him putting the dummy in himself in the day (generally don't give it to him in the day but going to have to start) and he's got a month to work it out, otherwise we're weaning. I would wean now and just be done with it, but I'm weaning him off the woombie at the mo! Bloody props ;-)

How are the rest of you ladies?

[Jo1stbaby]

We seem to be ok with props, she has her dummy but not overly attached to it although occasionally if she sees it on the sofa or something she will pick it up and pop it in.  I'm trying to stop that as I only want her to associate it with bedtime.  She also babbles more when she hasn't got it in.

Girls I'm with you with that having a cry.  The night before las was just so awful when I got back into bed eventually at 3.30am I had a little cry.  I don't know why wasn't intentional, I think it was tiredness that just sort of overwhelmed me.  I then layed there until 4.30am trying to sleep and was just going off when she woke.  My husband took her and tried to get her back off but no such luck.  But luckily for me he was off so he let me sleep in that morning.

Last night we had a good night.  Bed at 7pm, dreamfeed at 10pm, woke at 2.15am so I fed her and then woe up at 4.30am.  I held her and rocked her a little and she went back off but the minute I trid to put her down she started again so I brought her into bed with me.  She slept for half an hour before my husband had a go for half hour (unsuccessfully) so I then got up at 5.30am.   That wa a good night for us though no nw other than feeds but still the ew.

It's great when you have support laying in etc, its the best part of my week when my husband is off just to get some extra sleep.  Although the extra sleep I get that day is what a normal person would get in one night yet I have a whole week to catchup on which obviously just never happens.

I hope everyone else has had a slightly better night, its really good to be able to just vent about my day and have the support there.  It is really helping so thank you girls.

[Jaxsta81]

Really glad it's helping you Jo. I find it so comforting to know I'm not alone and I think about "you lot" when I'm stuck in my nursery rocking chair waiting for Leon to fall asleep!!

I can feel a tooth with ny finger so I think we're coming to the end of this bout of teething, thank God.

Also, Leon does seem so much more chilled and less whingey since visiting the cranial osteopath. I can highly recommend that to anyone!

[Jo1stbaby]

Having a really down day today been up with Jessica since 3am. She woke for a feed slept from 3.30 until 4.15 didn't wake but I sat with my hand on her until 4.40 then she woke for the day at 5.10am.  I just feel like a useless mum at the moment nothing I do seems to work. My husband is always in a mood with me at the moment, I dint know if its me always being wrong or just him being tired and stuff.

Awh the tooth that's a good sign, Jessica's always seem to take a long time from when we can feel them before we actually see them but we always feel there is light at the end of the tunnel because you know before to long it would have popped through.  Jessica's had two upper front popping through since last week and she does seem to be over the worsed of it now.

I also highly recommend cranial osteopath.  We didn't really Didnt find out until about 9 weeks what it was all about but we took her for two sessions by the end of the second week she was a completely different baby.  All her tension went and was definitely more settled.  We just wish we knew about it before.  I know it's not recognised in the medical profession but it definately needs more awareness of it.  We recommend to anyone we speak to.

[Jaxsta81]

Sending you big ((((HUGS)))) Jo as these days are the ones that are real bloody testers!! Have you got anything arranged to do today? Is there a friend/family member you can see to help or even distract you or Jessica for a bit so you get a break? I've found getting out and about on days where I'm EXHAUSTED sometimes the best thing to do as it kind of does blow the cobwebs away. I have gone to Sainsburys to literally sit in their cafe and drink a hot cup of tea cos having one at home seems impossible sometimes!

And finally you are not a useless Mum. These babies are just doing their thing and it's nothing you could have or should have done sometimes. Even if it is, you are being a great Mum by being with her when she wakes and not ignoring her or shouting at her. You are doing the best you can, and trying to do it through tears and you need a massive pat on the back for that. Stay strong xxxx

[Charjanemom]

It's so hard to not blame ourselves. I have been doing that a lot lately too. But at the end of the day all these babies needs is to be loved, fed, clean and warm. A friend yesterday said to me think of it as dance and that the footsteps are always changing
It's hard not to feel guilt but we are all doing the best we can. My dd loves her night sleep and I can see in her eyes that not having her 11-12 hr solid sleep is effecting her. Sometimes I just look at her and cry and say I'm sorry. But we need to stop blaming ourselves. I'm sure in a few months we will look back at this time as little bump in the road that we all survived. Hang in there.
And I agree about getting out. I've been so house bound lately cuz I want to figure out her routine but yesterday I went to stroller fit and then we went swimming after. It was great to get out and clear my head.

[Jo1stbaby]

Hi girls,

You are so right about getting out, if I'm out and doing things I'm fine it's just when I'm sat at home feeling sorry for myself, The exhaustion is just unbelievable.  I think part of the issue is Jessica had hand, foot and mouth disease a couple of weeks ago and then I got it the following week so I've been house bound for 2 weeks.  All better now so can actually go out again now.  I've felt better last couple of days and your words of encouragement have really helped, so thank you girls.  I do have to sit back sometimes and think how lucky I am really things could be a lot worse.  I have a very happy, independent, intelligent girl.  I think she doesn't sleep be jade the world is too exciting, she was crawling at six months and now she's just turned 8 months on Wednesday and she is letting go of the sofa for a few seconds at a time and cruising around.  So I am really lucky really.  It's so good to come here and vent or just open up.

I know it's not my fault and I know I'm not a bad mum really but just some days really get you down.  I'm back to work next week so although I'm tired (only going back 3 days and not full days) I think it will be good just to be out of the house a bit and some me time even if it is at work.

[missmom]

Is anyone making any progress? After months of OBSESSING over my sons sleep I have made ZERO progress. His naps are still 30-40 minutes long no matter what his A time, except for a handful of longer ones that I am sure were designed to drive me insane. Mission accomplished.  And despite the fact that his no longer has any props and puts himself to sleep he is still up 6-8 times a night.  This kid is never going to sleep, never ever ever ever.  I feel like such a failure..  why won't this kid just SLEEP!

[Charjanemom]

Hugs!!

It's so so hard. We have made a bit of progress with the Ew. We had a few rough nights with multiple night wakings. Not sure if it was teething or just a phase. We are still struggling with afternoon nap. I have found that I need to give her a little extra A before pm nap and a long wind down. I also go in at the 30 min mark if she wakes and rub her back. It works sometimes but not always.

Have you started solids? Maybe he is waking cuz something is bothering his tummy.

[My little Liam]

We are also going crazy with NW and especially EW! My LO actually takes great naps but I can't seem to figure out his A time before bed since i have to cap his second nap and I think that is a big part of our problem.

[Jo1stbaby]

Missmom I'm with you on the nap situation.  My LO sleeps 30 -40 mins with the occasional 1 hr/ 1 1/2hrs nap and on a very rare occasion a 2 hr nap.  When it happens I think I've cracked it and then the next nap or next day it just goes back to the 30 min nap.  I go in at the 25 min mark to help her past the 30 min wake up, again sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

She is teething at the moment we thought her two top ones but she's actually got 4 top ones coming through, but I don't think that's the issue as they are really not seeming to bother her now.  Ew are anything from 3 - 4.30am, we end up apop with us in bed just to try and get more sleep sometimes we get 1hr or if we are lucky another 2 hours but not without a wake up in between.

[Jaxsta81]

Hi everyone - just thought I'd check in and see how we're all doing!??

[My little Liam]

Not good! I have 2hr long NW and EW for the past week. LO is EXTREMELY OT!! Starting to go crazy myself...

[Charjanemom]

We are getting 10.5 hr nights with wake up just before 6. My dd also seems ot. Not sure if I should push more to try to get that ew gone or its the long A during the day causing ot. If only babies came with manuals
This kid used to sleep 12 hrs no problem.

[Jaxsta81]

I know what you mean. We had a 2 hr NW the other night, I was getting beyond frustrated and constantly thinking "do I pick him up? What if he falls asleep on me and then I have to put him back down and it wakes him and we go back to square one? Should I just persist with him in the cot even though he's getting really wound up!?" Heaven knows what is the best thing to do - I'm just thankful he won't remember this when he's older! ha ha!

I'm blaming a lot of my issues down to teeth. I think Leon is a really bad teether and it comes out in night like a vampire!

[My little Liam]

Ha! I wish I could blame teeth but there are none here! I have tried mess just in case but no difference.
We had another EW at 0420. This time I picked him up and we sat in the rocking chair. He immediately closed his eyes but couldn't sleep. If I moved he opened them. It's as if he was resting with his eyes closed. I guess that's better that being awake for 2 hours... I just don't understand why he is having such a hard time sleeping. I don't know how much longer I can last sitting in a chair half the night!

[Jaxsta81]

I know what you mean. Leon did that exact same thing when he woke up from his afternoon nap today. I got a tickly cough whilst holding him and I just knew even the slightest of cough would just jolt him awake.

Today has been a very trying day....he just seems so wingey ALL DAY. If we weren't past the point of colic I'd swear he has it.

My back kills too - and I start a p/t job in a pub tomorrow night - I'm going to look like death warmed up by Friday!

[Jo1stbaby]

Good luck with the job jaxsta81, I went back to work last week.  I'm doing 3 days a week, the shifts are not too bad it's afterwards I just seem to die.

Jessica is I'll AGAIN, it never seems to stop.  She's had diarrha for over a week now, took her doctors last week and was told there is nothing actually wrong with her but I'm oing have to take her back.  Can't keep her off the solid food and she is starving, not really sure the best action to get rid of it.  And to top that off she now has an awful cold which has resulted in the last couple of nights her in bed with us as I can't cop with the every half hour wakings.  I can't try and sleep train when she's constantly got something wrong.

I'm so unbelievably tired though, although last night was slightly better.  I wish she had an off button so I could just turn her off for a few hours so I could catch up on some sleep.