(I thought I'd update our progress briefly directly at the end of the question, hoping that other people in the same situation can see it more quickly)
Hello all,
I'm a proud dad of a 6.75-month baby girl who likes to smile, eat and play quite well during the day. She's been a Textbook girl. But recently, when the night falls, she becomes crazily fussy. This has been going on for a month now and we, especially my wife is so tired and stressed.
BACKGROUND: 2-4 months
Just a bit of background. Our baby slept through the night (10pm-6am) when she was 1.5 months old (in her own cot, same bedroom). It lasted until she was 4 months, when she would wake up 2, 3 times a night. We started to give solids to the pediatrician's advice. She didn't like it so much. Night breastfeeding didn't help either. So we decided to stop breastfeeding at night and use CONTROLLED CRYING for ~2 weeks. She was able to go to sleep at 8pm instead of 10pm, but still wake up 1, 2 times a night. Cried for maximum 1h and slept back on her own.
The problem was that she didn't eat much solids and we didn't force her to have more breastmilk. At 5 months, we started to worry about her weight when the measures showed that she gained only 200g after 1 month.
6 MONTHS AND TRACY'S BOOKS
At 6 months old, she was behind the weight growth (went from 30 percentile curve to 1 percentile curve). She gained only 500g after a 2 month period (5.7kg at 6months, compared to 5.2kg at 4 months. The pediatrician urged us to feed more.
In desperation there was light: WE FOUND TRACY'S BOOK - The BW Solves all your problems (a friend was kind enough to give it to us as a gift ater successfully used it for her dear son). Instantly, we discovered that the NWs at 4 months are just due to hunger and the switch from 3h to 4h EASY schedule at 4 month mark. Controlled crying just starved her during the night I guess.
We applied EASY for the little one right away (when she was 6.10 months, nearly a month ago, November 7th) and achieved great results from day 1. Getting her to sleep at 7:30pm after following a bedtime routine (bath, breastfeed and relax) was as easy as just putting her on the bed (her own cot, different room than us). Daily naps are also so easy, 2 times/day, 2h each. Eating solids significantly improved. Over the last month, she's started to eat twice as much solids during the day. (3 weeks into EASY routine, she gained 400g, getting back to 7 percentile curve)
We also discovered dreamfeeding and used it too.
WORSE NIGHTWAKINGS
During the 1st week of EASY, the only problem was still her customary night waking at around 4, 4:30am, cried and refused to sleep until 5:30am or 6am. Several nights, she would wake up at 1 or 2am as well (either getting back to sleep on her own or after comforting).
We didn't use PU/PD then because we thought that'd confuse our baby (used controlled crying at 5-month) but we came in to comfort her (shushing/patting/putting face next to her). But it's worse than using controlled crying. It'd last for 2 hours or more.
After a few nights, we eventually did a few things in hindsight were not right: turning on the light, playing with her at 5am, bringing her to our bed for a night, putting her on a rocking chair.
GETTING WORSE TO WORST
1 week into EASY routine, she started to have random NWs and crying. The first night at 22pm. After 15mins shushing and back patting, she went back to sleep. Woke up again at 2am until 5am. We used shushing/padding but to no avail (then later discovered that these 2 techniques aren't suitable for 6months baby and older).
The next few nights were crazy. She would wake up anytime she wants (22pm, 0am, 1am, 2am, 3am), cry (start with a kind of mantra cry but then quite loud fussing, and varies in tone and volume) and wouldn't go back to sleep until 5am. She would wake up for the day at ~7:30am-8am (the last few days at 6:30am).
After several nights unsuccessfully resolve these NWs, we decided to use PU/PD. The 1st two nights were promising. She went back to sleep at 5am, after ~1, 1.5h of PU/PD. But then we couldn't use it the right way the next nights: because the cry is not hard enough (just a kind of hard mantra cry with some intermitten shouting). And mainly because when put down, she stops crying for 2 minutes (or 5mins) (we thought she was going to sleep), but then start crying again. Over and over. The whole night.
The important thing to notice is: SHE STOPS CRYING HARD AS SOON AS MY WIFE GETS IN AND COMFORTS HER (touching, putting hand on her back/putting head close to her). She seems to get back to sleep. But it lasts only for 10-15minutes, then she starts crying again. If I come in, she wouldn't stop crying.
It has been like that for the last 2-3 weeks. Starting from 9pm till 7am. Dozens of NWs. She is unsettled and doesn't sleep longer than 30 mins chunks from 9pm till 11:30pm. And a longer stretch until 1 or 2am, then fussily crying till morning without sleeping longer than 30mins. And we are dead tired right now. My wife is so stressed and need sleeps. I was red-eyed looking at books, advices and forums. The family ambiance is really tense at night.
DAILY ROUTINE FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS
It has been quite consistent during the day and crazy at night.
8am (E): Solid (vegetables) from 50-100ml + Breastfeeding for 10-15mins. The last few days, she wakes up at 6, 6:30, crying and then up for the day.
9am (A): Play
10am (S): Nap for 1.30h - 2h
12am (E): Solid (vegatable) from 50-70ml + Breastfeeding for 10-15mins
13pm (A): Play
14pm (S): Nap for 1.30h
15:30pm (E): Solid (fruits) 60-80ml
16:30pm (A): Play
17:30pm (S): Solid (cereal + milk): 100-150ml
18:15pm (A): Bedtime routine: bath, changing diaper, breastfeeding, relax
19:15pm (S): Putting to bed.
20:00pm-morning: waking up like crazy, every 1-2h, or even 15mins.
OTHER CUES
- No dreamfeed or breastfeeding during the night whatsoever for a month now (since starting EASY). No bottle since 1month old.
- No nap after 15:30pm until 19:30pm when she was put to bed.
- At first we thought the dreamfeeding gives her the habit of waking during the night. Still not sure, but we stopped anyway.
- The pediatrician checked and said she may be suffering from toothing but we haven't seen any so far. No other toothing signs (no constipation/diarrhea, no red bottom, no fever,...). But we gave her the Camillia, a kind of homeotheapy medicine for the last 3 days. No improvement.
- She seems ok during the day, no apparent problem with eating/playing (apart from some increasing fuss when put to nap the last couple of days). She smiles and plays with me when I come back from work. So lovely.
- We're starting to think this might be a kind of separation anxiety. Because she stops crying quite quickly when my wife gets in. The problem is she can't sleep stretches at night longer than maximum 2h.
DESPARATION
We are really stumped, lost and not knowing what to do now. My wife goes to bed at 9pm, trying to get some sleep. But our baby can wake up as soon as 9:30pm. It's just crazy. All I can do is to get in to the baby's room with my wife to mentally support her during the night.
Would you be so kind as to give us some advice? Can it be some pain due to toothing (because the pediatrician suppose)? or separation anxiety (because she stops with my wife, not me)? or even hunger (because the wakeup time is quite varied)? or any other reason?
I'd really appreciate any help from you. Thank you very much for reading such a long post. I just hope I can give as much info as I can.
*** ADVICE ***
I got very helpful advice from ZacsMumme, becj86, *Kara*, j.and.e and support from many people. Thanks a lot for your caring and sharing.
The consensus seems to be her A time is too short in the morning and too long in the afternoon, which leads to OT and NWs during the night, as well as EWs since her body may have told her "You are going to nap soon anyway so it's no problem waking up early". Our eyes are lit up like a bulb when we saw your answers. It all makes perfect sense.
*** THE PLAN ***
1- Stretch her A time to ~2.45 to 3h in the morning to balance out the day's routine, OR
2- Introduce a catnap in the evening.
We go for the 1st one and use the 2nd one as plan B. The aim is extend A time to 3h but listen carefully to her signs. Reduce A time accordingly in case she can't nap a full 2h. Don't allow a nap shorter than 30mins by doing PU/PD/shush/pat/whatever works.
*** PROGRESS IN BRIEF (please read through the thread for more info) ***
- Night before day D: Waking up like crazy, every 15 to 30mins from 8pm till 6am.
- day D (seeing improvement):
- Sleep in till 9am.
- 1st A time: 2h35mins (she seems tired at only 2h mark but we tried to add another 35mins of low key activities). Nap for only 45 mins (shortest in a month, don't know why). Woke up at 12:15pm.
- 2nd A time: 2h15mins. Nap for only 35 mins (don't know why either). Wake up at 15:05pm
- At 18:30, put to bed when we saw signs of tiredness at around 18:15. It's been 3h30 since last nap so it makes sense.
- From 19:00 till 0:00 woke up every 30mins, but settled down on her own (only 1 time need comforting). THIS IS THE RECORD!!!
- At 0:30 need comfort for 30mins and a very quick breastfeed (5mins). Settled down and SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! We woke up at 6:30am and saw that she was playing on her own already without crying or anything. We just can't believe it.
- day D+1 (back to craziness + eating less):
- Start the day at 07:00
- 1st A time: 2h50mins, nap for 1h30mins, woke up at 11:20
- 2nd A time: 2h30mins, nap for 1h10mins, woke up at 15:00
- We offered a catnap at 16:45 but cried. We tried comforting then PU/PD but after 30mins, since it'd be too late, we picked her up.
- Bedtime: 18:15 to avoid OT
- From 18:45 to 22:30, woke up every 20 or 30mins and needed comforting for almost all of them.
- From 22:45 to 02:00am: sleep a long stretch.
- From 02:00 to 04:30: crying, stop for 5mins when comforting, then start again. Breastfed for 15mins. Afterwards, same things happened. We brought her to our bed at 4:15 due to exhaustion. Crying for a bit (~15mins), then sleep until 7am.
- day D+2 (craziness + eating less):
- 1st A time: 3h, nap for 1h30, woke up at 11:30
- 2nd A time: 3h, nap only 30mins, woke up at 15:00 (tried PU/PD but after 30mins, we picked her up)
- Breastfed at 16:00 to get her into a catnap but cried for 10mins, breastfed again at 16:30. Sleeping during breastfeeding, then put to bed, napping a total of 40mins.
- Bedtime: 19:00. It's 20:00 now and already woke up twice and needed comforting. It's hard to feel positive!
(Sorry we're too exhausted to update here. If you're interested please read through the posts
