I'm using gradual withdrawal to teach her independent sleep. I had got to the stage where she would stay lying down quietly in her cot sucking her thumb while I sat by the door of the room and eventually she would fall asleep. But this was only at bed time. At nap times she was still standing up and crying if I put her in the cot anything other than fast asleep.
On Monday and Tuesday she is at nursery all day and they really struggle to get her to sleep and to stay asleep. They try to do 2 naps a day but very rarely succeed and when she does sleep at nursery it is often for between 15 and 30 minutes because something will wake her up. Very occasionally she will have a 1 hour nap but she has never slept longer than that at nursery. They try to rock her to sleep at nursery but often comment that she eventually falls asleep in their arms (after 30-45 minutes of rocking!) but then wakes up straight away when they put her in the cot.
On Wednesday and Thursday she just goes to nursery for the morning. Before all her illnesses we were getting some nice long afternoon naps on these days so these tended to be 1 nap days.
On Friday, Saturday and Sunday she is at home with me all day. I usually try for the first nap at about 11am. If she has a long nap then that might be the only one but if she only sleeps for 30 minutes then I'll try for another one later.
On Monday and Tuesday, she is so tired when I get her home from nursery that she usually has a really early bed time but then wakes early the next morning and is even more tired by the next night and so the cycle continues.
So really we don't have a good routine at all and her body clock must be all over the place. Should I try a set nap time perhaps
Her routine is something like
Wake up between 6:30 and 7am (but very often wakes at 5:15 onwards and has a breastfeed. Sometimes goes back to sleep for an hour but often doesn't)
Breastfeed when she wakes if she hasn't had one at 4 or 5am
Breakfast at 7:30
Snack at 10 (this is when they have one at nursery). At home I tend to wait for nap time and then breastfeed her to sleep.
Nap 1 around 11ish. Depending on wake up time.
Lunch at 12
Snack at 3 (at nursery she is offered milk at this time but doesn't often have a lot) Again I tend to offer her milk at nap time rather than 3.
Nap 2. Completely depends on if nap 1 happened, how long it lasted etc.
Nursery tea is at 3:45 but she hasn't usually had much milk. With me she has usually had a good breastfeed mid afternoon so I usually do tea at 4:30
On a normal day we would go up for bath, pyjamas, story, breastfeed and bed at 6:15pm. If she falls asleep on the breast she might be asleep by 7pm, if I put her in her cot to settle herself it might be 8pm by the time she falls asleep. On nursery days when she hasn't had much day time sleep she might go up to bed as early as 5:30.
The two ways that are most successful in getting her to sleep are breastfeeding and car journeys. Sometimes walks in the pram but not so successful any more.
Sorry that is such a long reply to your questions. The nursery have commented that they've never had a baby that struggles so much to fall asleep. Even when obviously tired she will fight and fight to stay awake.
I'll try anything you think will help. We've got the Christmas holidays coming up - 17 days without nursery so I'm keen to get a good routine going and maybe help her body clock to get set and things might be better in January
