Gentle Weaning Plan

[BetsyAnh]

i was wondering at what age this should be implemented?? i've just started EASY, should i wait until that's established first before trying this method?

thanks,
sara

i don't think it interferes w/ easy (at night) let us know how it goes for u! good luck!

[BetsyAnh]

okay i tried this with my dd and she screamed at me for taking her paci out...my goodness it took me over a half an hour to resettle her  :shock:  i think i will try when she is a little older maybe??was there an age to start this at??? she will be three months on the 6th..

maybe wait until 4 months? they should be able to sleep thru then (so i'm told!) does she wake for the paci or for feeds? mine never took to a paci so i hope i can be of some help to you!

[BetsyAnh]

incerpt from my PART 2 post--- moved to beginning of this post!

[g.k]

:lol:
Hi BetsyAnh
Firstly i must say thankyou after quickly reading your reply last night i tried today picking jake up 5 mins up before his 30 min nap ended and sure to anything he slept for 2 hours!!!!! couldnt believe it.... aint had that since he was a few weeks old ..... fingers crossed it wasnt a one off...
Just the night times now - he is still waking up at night, every night different and his bedtime is earlier especially since time change. i do try at night to comfort him and put back down but i just know the signs when he wont settle and needs a feed to go back to sleep, then the problem starts as say if he has a 7 or 8 feed, wakes at either 12 or 3 or even both its strange as if he wakes at 12 he will at 3 ish for sure then again at 5 or 6. sorry for rambling on.... but ur advice is appreciated and welcome as i cant believe how happy my wee man was and didnt waken up crying for a change.... thanks g.k

[costinhas]

Hi BetsyAnh,

My dd has started to wake every 3 hours everynight to bf and I've not been successful with the methods I've always use to calm her down and help her fall asleep on her own. It was just now that I've read this announcement and it gave me new strenght and new ideias to try.

I'll start this night and I'll let you know how it is going (hopefully great! :lol:).

Thank you.

[joaquinsmom]

BetsyAnh,
I was so happy to see this turned into an anouncement, because I had forgoten where this was posted.

We are not doing so great    Joaquín still has a hard time getting to sleep, still wakes up a few times just after he has gone to sleep, and then at 3 to eat, and at 5 to eat again. I think he's really only hungry at the 3 A.M. one, the others are just out of habit...

I can't say that I have been very consistent though. So tonight I'm starting over. From now on, I will be Mrs we-stick-to-the routine-no-matter-what, because I think maybe if I really stick to his routine for a while he'll get the hang of this and latter on we can be a little more flexible. I like the idea of this method. Gradual baby steps that are not so stressful for lo or me.

Let you know how it goes...

P.S. I've never been to Panama City but I hear it's very nice!

[joaquinsmom]

Ok, so last night went and got him from my mom's at around 6:00 P.M.

6:30 P.M. ate some cereal and then bf a little. He was already sooooo sleepy!! I wasn't sure if I should just put him to bed then or should go ahead and try to do the bedtime routine first. Maybe I should try an earlier bedtime? it would be kind of hard because I get off work at around 5:30 or 6:00.

7:00 played in his room for a bit while I waited for the heater to work

7:15 shower. Didn't go so well cause ds was already very tired. Daddy came at the end got him dried and dressed for bed

7:30 tried to get him to take a bottle from dh but he didn't want to!!!!! he wanted me to do it. Dh insisted HE was going to give him the bottle or NOBODY would. So finally he let daddy do it... for a little while... then it was bf or nothing. But after a little bit he starts "head banging" so I put him on my lap with his back to me and gave him a little formula from his bottle and he fell asleep. Did the gentle removal thing, and it took about 3 tries.

8:00 put him in his crib, with my arms still around him for a little bit and then left the room

8:30 woke up, so I went in, did pat/sh and he quickly went back to sleep

8:38 up again. pat/sh.

8:46 GEEZ!!!! up again?? why??? pat/sh and it took a little longer this time

10:40 up again. pat/sh

11:30 - 12:00 up again. No way he was going back to sleep easily so picked him up, bf for a few minutes. Head banging again. So put him on my lap with his back to me and rocked and shd until he fell asleep (he cried some)

6:00 A.M. cried so dh brought him back to our bed. Bf and went back to sleep until 7:00

So not really awful, but not great either  :? 
Really bad part is that my IL's want to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate getting a new car, and they want to go to this place that's like 45 minutes away  :roll: So much for consistency...

[costinhas]

Hi everyone!

As I said I started this method yesterday and I've already seen some results tonight! Yessss!

I made some adaptations but maintained the original ideia and tonight my dd fell asleep on her one! She was on my lap but I was sitting down and just pat/shh her. It took about 20 minutes (the first 10 minutes she bf). So let's see how we'll do the rest of the night!  :wink:

Joaquin's mom:

Courage! I'm with you! I know how despairing it is when they start to wake every 15 minutes... specially when we are asleep and the only thing we want it’s to go back to bed as soon as possible!

I also now how difficult it’s to maintain consistency in all routines. One day it’s daddy who arrives late the other day its mum and the other we’re invited for dinner and so on and on...

Well I hope you can manage to stick with the plan and I’ll try too! At least it gave new strenght and I’m encouraged by the results that I’ve already had!

Good night’s sleep for you all

[BetsyAnh]

i'm so glad to hear that you are getting results!

i just wanted to let ya'll know that it has been 3 weeks (or so) since i first started this method, and although it seemed as if i would never get past phase 1-when my LO wakes, i don't have to bf to settle (so far so good) i only have to pick her up and cuddle, then into the cot! this takes care of any wakings before 2-3am... let's see how this one and the 5-6am wakings go...

on a good night she wakes 3-4 times at the moment, hopefully they will decrease too!!

i was also thinking that because she is 9 months (where has the time gone!?) she is a bit anxious about that separation thing and cries so she knows i'll be there- she grabs SO tightly to me when i pick her up and REALLY rubs her head into my chest, oh my little monkey! be it habitual, a phase or a little of both, i think i still see (slowley but surely) PROGERESS!! yeah!!

good luck still to everyone- i'll have a look in the book again to see if there is anything that i have forgotten to post already!! xx

[joaquinsmom]

ok, so I managed to get out of the dinner thing...

6:00 went and got ds from MIL's

6:45 got home and fed ds some cereal and water from a sippy cup. Was very impressed that he can handle the cup already! he can even hold it himself most of the time.

7:15 shower. I can't figure it out, he used to love his shower but now he just wants me to hold him the whole time and is really whiny...

7:30 we were getting him dressed when my sister and her boyfriend show up for a visit... I love them so much, and they are so sweet to ds but it was such bad timing!!! so dh tells me we should let ds stay up another half hour so he can spend some time with them.

7:45 ds starts getting fussy so I put my foot down (and feel like a big ol' meany) and say it's time for bed. So I took him to his room with the lights dimmed and TRIED to give him his bottle, which he absolutely did not want, he wanted to bf. So I let him do that but for some reason he kept fussing so I ended up just sitting him on my lap and rocking him to sleep (he cried... a lot  :cry: )

8:17 put him to bed

8:30 woke up and I had to start all over again and it was the same as when I first got him to go to sleep.

10:40 up again. pat/sh

2:00 up again and dh brought him to bed with us (he claims I told him to do this... I must have been asleep) and from then on it was CHAOS. Ds whined and cried and only wanted to suck for comfort. He wasn't really eating, just falling asleep at the breast. So at 3:00 or so I got him to fall asleep again and took him back to his crib, but by 4:00 he was crying again so I got him and tried to get him to sleep again in our bed. More whining and feeding and I don't remember much after that.

7:10 finally just decided to get up and when he managed to fully wake up he was all smiles... only mommy was the cranky monster...

Sandra, thanks for your words of encouragement. It definitely helps to know that there are other mothers in my same situation. Will keep working on sticking to the routine. Good luck to you!

So for now I told dh not to listen to me when I tell him to get ds and bring him to bed with us, but to make me really wake up so I can go to him instead.

Hoping tonight is a good night for all of us...

[BetsyAnh]

jennifer- is you LO teething yet? what are his naps like?

[joaquinsmom]

BetsyAnh,

He is teething. Actually I just gave him some tylenol when I was home for lunch because he was really fussy and acted like he wanted to eat but when I tried bf he kept getting off and on and off and on and whining. So I thought maybe the bottle would be better, but he didn't want it either and he just cried and cried and cried. So I thought maybe he was in pain so I gave him some tylenol.

If he still seems upset tonight I will give him some more and see how that goes...

His naps are kind of all over the place. My mom and MIL watch him on alternate days, and when he's at my MIL's he sleeps a lot because her house is really quiet and she doesn't go out at all, but when he's at my mom's he doesn't nap too well because the house is too noisy and my mom goes out a lot. I know that's not good for him but I haven't been able to figure out a way for him to sleep better at my mom's. So I have been trying to at least have a consistent routine at night.

I love my lo and I know it's not his fault, but I'm soo tired and I'm starting to lose my patience...  :cry:

[costinhas]

Hi!

Jennifer: How I completely understand you :shock:. I had the same problem with my dd every time she was teething or ill. It all seems very easy on paper but when we try to put in action at the middle of the night and we don't have a good night sleep for at least 100 nights it all seems impossible, our breast is so accessible, our bed is so warm and cozy and why not take him/her with us just one night... and the other... and one more and geeez it turned to an habit

Well my dd is 13 ½ month old and I’m still paying all those “just this time” that we made. So I strongly recommend you to stick with the plan and ban social visits at bed time. Every single night that we break the routine it’s one night lost and I know it for my experience. However it is so nice when we wake up and the first face that we see it’s them sleeping like an angel. That’s why I always take my dd to my bed when she wakes for the last feed of the night... perhaps it’s not a good habbit but we all enjoy it so much!

My dd never liked the bottle or the pacifier so the only thing that she wanted was bf. She also refused solids when she was teething and got all the extra calories needed by bf. One thing I've learned is that she sleeps better at night when she makes her naps (she usually sleeps 3 hours/2 naps).

These last nights my dd fell asleep on her own on my lap and went to bed without fuss. However she still woke at least 4 times during night and wanted to bf. It was something like this:

19:30 bf and went to sleep
21:40 woke and wanted to bf (tried to make her go to sleep again with pat/shh but had to bf)
1:30 bf
2:30 daddy went and calm her (took a while cried a lot)
2:45 daddy again
4:00 bf
6:40 come to our bed, bf, and I got up to go to work
7:30 got up and was fresh like a flower!

She's not hungry during the night it’s just to comfort herself! I know that now for sure!

Tonight she fell asleep very well so let’s see how it goes!

Pleasant dreams!

[BetsyAnh]

Jeniffer- if you take a look at my first post on how to extend naps, maybe having your mom try this method during his naps to help him sleep in the day so he hopefully has better nights? my LO has been teething for MONTHS now with none cutting through yet!! i can't even begin to say what that does to her solid foods, nights, temperment.... etc... but she always seems to be happy taking the breast-- don't lose patience my dear!! i know how hard (going through it now myself for a good 4+ months with 4+ wakings :shock: ) it can be to be coherant enough to gradually take the LO off the breast and eventually to just being held and FINALLY only being settled to the cot, but although it has taken me WEEKS to see results, i TRULY believe that they will come!!! hang in there, and as my first post states, if you or your baby get upset IT'S OK TO REVERT BACK TO THE OLD METHOD (BF) BECAUSE YOU WILL SEE RESULTS IN TIME!!!!

sandra- i think that if you all enjoy that last bf in the bed, then that's great but maybe if you want your LO to not wake so much at night, MAYBE try  and have your husband settle her for all of the wakings and try the different phases which Elizabeth Pantley mentions in my first post? i think (and i'm not trying to contradict your methods, by all means if you're happy with bf at night, please continue  ) i think that bf on some wakings and having your husband settle her on others might mean unnecassary crying when your husband settles her-- what i think i'm trying to say is that i think if your husband were to settle her than she wouldn't expect the breast, and will not wake up for that reason, and/or you can gradually wean her from waking up for cuddles from daddy until she sleeps through!! please let me know what you think

[joaquinsmom]

Sandra, BetsyAnh thank you so much for your advice and patience, I know my long posts must not be easy to get through...  :oops: 

The weekend was not too great because on friday we went out to dinner with the IL's (against my better judgement) and ds didn't get to bed until like 11 p.m.  :roll: The rest of the weekend was shot because we went to the beach and came back last night pretty late.

So I've decided starting today, no more social stuff at night. I was nice last week because I had started mid week and was going to have to break the routine a little at the beach, but this week is going to be different. I know I sound so weak, and I know that it's an awful thing to do to ds this being inconsistent and then expecting him to be a good sleeper, but I will try my best starting tonight.

My problem is ds keeps "head banging" at the breast. I want to do the gentle removal, so I try to let him bf to sleep but he starts getting off and then on and off and on and I don't know why he does this. I start thinking maybe he's not getting enough milk and it frustrates him, so I try to give him the bottle but he won't take it!! it just makes him mad! So I end up rocking him to sleep while he screams/cries a lot. Do you have any advice for this?

Thanks ladies, I appreciate your help sooo much!!!! and I hope you and your lo's are getting really good sleep.