6 month old suddenly waking every hr- separation anxiety? nursing prop?

[newmamajo]

Hi. My DD is 6 months old, and just started learning how to crawl about a week ago. Since then she's been extremely clingy during the day, which is making it tricky to get her the time she needs to practice crawling so that it doesn't interfere so much with her sleep. She's been having a terrible time napping (up on all fours in the crib, can't settle, and waking early from naps wide-wake and alert), but when I bring her out and set her down she fusses until I hold her. I'm guessing maybe she's having some separation anxiety?

The real trouble has been how it's interfering with our night sleep. Just a little bit of background: we've been using pat/shh and PUPD for the last month and a half or so and she's been doing pretty well with it, but up until that point she was a little nursling who nursed to sleep for every nap and night sleep. Naps have always been a battle, but she had just gotten adjusted to a 3.5 hr EASY, and we were working on stretching her A times to 2.30 from 2 hrs. (with 1.5 hr S's during the day), and dropping her CN. She was JUST starting to make some progress sleeping longer stretches at night (like 4ish hrs at a time, which was a huge improvement!). But the last few nights she's been up multiple times in an hour, and when my DH goes in to calm her down (which is how we were doing the night weaning in between feeds), she SCREAMS at him like he's pulling out her finger nails!! It's a very angry cry and almost like her hunger cry? but I'm not sure it's hunger (unless she's having a growth spurt simultaneously which would be just dandy). The very first night this happened went like this:

Last feed - 6pm
BT- 6:30
NW - 8:30 (pat/shh)
E - 9:30pm
NW - 11pm- (attempted pat/shh, screaming very angrily and wouldn't settle for DH, I went in and tried to calm her with words and then nursing and she would not settle for anything!)
S - 12pm (finally brought her to bed, and she nursed for a bit very aggressively. listened to lullabies until fell asleep. slept 5 hrs stretch!! first time that's ever happened.)

Since that night she's been waking early on in the evening WAY more than usual (about an hr after we put her down) and wanting to nurse, but then really upset, even on the breast which is really strange for her. We've now had to bring her to our bed 2 more times which is stressing me out because it's super hard for me to get any sleep with her next to me. She had been seeming to sleep better in our bed and we were entertaining the idea of co-sleeping for half of the night (whatever works!!), but then last night was awful. She woke 3 or 4 times screaming for the boob! And because she's so OT by the end of the day lately, she's been going down around 6:30 and waking by 6:15 which feels ridiculously early. She's also had a small fever the last 3 days and we're pretty sure it's because of teething, which could also account for the more frequent nursing and clinginess and restlessness. Basically we're a giant mess right now!!!

Would love any thoughts on this ladies! Or just encouragement about how to live through the separation anxiety! This morning my DH let me sleep and he said she was a mess. Wouldn't eat breakfast, fussing and looking for me the whole time. How long will this last?!

[Erin M]

There's always a chance of a growth spurt, and there is one that comes right around the 6 month mark.  It sounds like you've got a bunch of things going on at once -- perhaps the development of some separation anxiety, probably caused by the developmental stuff that she's going through right now.  Are you familiar with the concept of the wonder weeks?  It's a theory that does explain quite a bit of what is going on -- http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/baby/baby-stages-of-development/the-wonder-weeks-20120426-1xni4.html (check out leap 5, I think that's you exactly right now)!

As hard as it is, I'd spend as much time during the day with her -- especially earlier on in the day -- if you hold her and reassure her, she might get the idea.  It's a tough stage, it definitely will pass!  Playing peek-a-boo is another good idea -- works to establish the idea that you're not really going anywhere. 

[newmamajo]

That link shows EXACTLY what we're going through right now! Thanks!! That's really helpful.

So is there anything at all I can do about all of these NWs in the meantime? How long does the 6 month growth spurt typically last? because we're going on 3 weeks right now and I'm just really nervous that we'll falling into some serious accidental parenting problems with all of this night nursing and bed-sharing.

I'm also so freaked out that we're slipping back into the nursing prop. And now it really does seem like she's getting most of her calories at night with all of those NWs. She does get 2 meals worth of solids and it seems like she's usually hungry afterwards so I nurse her, but I don't know if it might be better to just let her eat solids until she's super full? I know that's probably a silly question, but I've been only giving her like 3 tbsp of solids at each meal because #1 I want her to nurse for as long as possible and #2 I know that the milk is more nutritional. I was also considering feeding her more often during the day, but then I know that at one point it was recommended I stretch out the time btw her feeds as a way of stretching her at night. SO confusing! just really looking for some sort of game plan at this point because it feels like we're treading water right in the sleep department....

And my personal favorite is how many people keep telling me that she should be STTN by now or at least longer stretches, when I'm KILLING myself to try and get her to sleep better and nothing seems to be helping or just when something does help for a minute it stops working like 3 days later. ahhhhhh.

[becj86]

but I don't know if it might be better to just let her eat solids until she's super full? I know that's probably a silly question, but I've been only giving her like 3 tbsp of solids at each meal because #1 I want her to nurse for as long as possible and #2 I know that the milk is more nutritional

Milk has more calories/oz than any solids you're offering at this point - best to stick with milk as much as possible to reduce need for feeds at night

What's your routine in the day like? When in the night is she waking - variable or reasonably set times and if so, what are they?

[newmamajo]

Oh she's VERY predictable with her wake times lately. Our day has been looking like this:

WU/E - 6am
A - solids around 7am
S - 8:30/9 (usually about 1:20 hrs.)
E - around 10/10:30
A - solids around 11:00
S - 12:30 or 1pm - about 2/2:30
E - 2:30
A
E - 5pm (instead of a CN we take a short nursing break since she's been refusing the CN)
A
E - 6:30 (right before BT)
S - 6:30 or 7pm
NW- 9pm, 11:30, 1:30, 4am

Thank you for replying! Just writing this out was depressing. Hopeful that someone can help!!

[becj86]

Sounds like you need to read this: All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months

Those wakings early in the night are likely short-term OT from the refused catnap... Once you get her into a solid 2-nap routine, you should see those start to decrease again.