Begging for help DS2 won't eat anything :(

[Mama2boys]

Hiya ladies,
I know this is a common topic but he is super spirited and stubborn with sleeping issues so one options are restricted but would o appreciate getting help devising a plan.
He barely was anything and in the last month with illness, ds1 being in hospital and me with him, ds2 has major separation anxiety and food has become totally limited.
He won't even let me put anything on his plate besides what he eats and at meals it's pasta with oil and Parmesan or rice with yogurt and that's no healthy at all. It's killing me.....
I need o make o e immediate changes like ensure I eat with him. But I guess my questions re
1. Do I give him an alternative or let him. Hungry the last time we tried that he stayed hungry then was crying or bread and butter at bed time. He will cry and cry and lash out and hit out of frustration but not even take a lick or bite
2. It's hard to offer him a variety of stuff as he will only eat the above 2 things and not even look at anything else n the table....
Help please
Thanks
Mukta

[jessmum46]

How old is DS2? Any illness or teething (canines, molars?) at the moment?

I've just had a similar thing with my nearly one year old DD, I think due to combination of viral illness and getting her first year molars.  Things that helped here were (1) remembering it is our job to offer a healthy balanced diet, but it is their job to eat it (2) keep offering at every meal time but don't make a big issue of it if it is refused - just offer the rest of what you would have given anyway eg normal helping of pasta or yoghurt, but not extra (3) remember that children will not starve themselves (4) try not to worry (and believe me I know that's hard!) as almost every child has these phases.

DD basically ate nothing but yoghurt, cereal and raisins for a good three weeks and lost over a pound, but suddenly snapped out of it and now I can't keep her full!  Good luck

[Mama2boys]

Thanks Katherine, he s 2 yr 8 months.

So what would you o f Hu ad one thing else for dinner. Eg If I av ast chicken potties and veggies r everyone and h refuses do I give him pasta? Let him cry and be hungry  or what?

[Mom to M&M]

Can you have one thing with the chicken and veggies that he DOES like, usually eats? A small amount of something - tiny piece of bread with butter, small piece of banana etc? And then tell him he can have more when he tries both the veggies and chicken?

[EllenS]

Any chance of mouth soreness?  My DD1 had almost no symptoms of Coxsackie virus except refusal to eat - then I saw the sore places in her mouth later.

Have you tried alternate forms of veggies/fruit/meat?  Like frozen, or roasted as "chips", or in a smoothie? 

What I personally would do, is try alternate forms of healthy foods at lunch or snacktime, but make one dinner that contains some element he likes, in a reasonable portion and "take it or leave it" for the rest.

If all else fails, you can get veggie/fruit juice blends that taste like regular fruit juice, at least they're getting a little something as a temporary measure.  As long as you keep calm & consistent this phase will pass, whatever the reason.

[nona]

Will he eat more if you put him in front of the TV or put a show on iPad at the table??? Not ideal I know

I would not stress too much. My BFF kid was same way & he is 5 now & eats better.

My brother was a horrible eater (oral issues due to cleft palate) but now at 34 eats fine .

My cousin's little boy had issues with textures (only on baby food still at 18 mo). She did take him for therapy which helped.

Have you tried the baby food smoothies that he can just suck up? Lots of varieties.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun. This is us too some days. I swear my child has slowly be become the fussiest kid ever!

3 days ago I started something different to help him eat better without pressure to eat YK? - we are often unable to all do dinner together because With T at 10 weeks and a little unsettled its mayhem.

So. I'm offering 4 items of food on a plate at each mealtime. (Other than breakfast which is always marmite on toast - he loves it)
Morning tea
Lunch
Afternoon tea
Dinner.
If he eats something it is replaced it's something else for the next meal. If not, then same is offered at next mealtime. Things I'm offering are foods I know he does like, but is currently not eating, Langtry a few he loves, and a few new.
Overall I think he's eating better and more could be worth a shot??? I'm typically offering 1/2 snack items he wants throughout day ie biscuit, cracker, dairy food, then yogurt, fruit, raisens, sandwiches, cheese, homemade fries or roasted potato, a bit of our veges at dinner and meat etc etc.

I also try to eat with him, or 'share" some of his food ie 1/2 in a sammie.

[Mama2boys]

thanks ladies. So I am sure he has no illness issue , he is just being stubborn and i guess fussy. His older brother will eat almosteverything and try everything too. so he doe shave a great role model to follow at all mela times.

I am doing as PP said. So every mela trying to offer him a variety and now he is not even eantingthecarrots and broccoli he used to love. the bribing to taste something new just does not work we trie dit but he will refuse and happily skip meals till he is starving and then cry and shoout and fuss.

Am going to try what Mashi had said in another thread the Ellen Slayter route and keep putting things on the table and letting him choose. Its hard and i am worried but not sure what other option i have. He is so  wretchedly stubborn!

[Mom to M&M]

When he's starving and crying and shouting do you re-offer only his refused meal or a REASONABLE alternative (like some veggies and dip)? What happens then?

Hugs, I know it's really hard. My DS is way fussy too (though lately slowly getting better).

[Mama2boys]

well the screaming and getting upset is if i reoffer the same, if i offer somethging reasonable like hummus with bread, bread and butter or pasta or rice or a banana he wil happily eat it...is that what I should do?

I just dont wnat food to be an issue and knoing his nature if i say go right he will go left! so i dont wnat food to be a power struggle

[Mom to M&M]

If this keeps going on than I would NOT offer something like bread with butter. Only the exact dinner OR something less appealing than bread and butter IFYWIM. Or tell him  he CAN have bread with butter IF he tries two bites of dinner or something like that. I don't want food to be a power struggle either but neither do I think kids can/should live on simple carbs alone...

Last night dinner in our house was vegetable pancakes, roasted potato wedges, uncured organic turkey bacon and applesauce. I only gave DS two potato wedges, half an applesauce and one piece of turkey bacon (half the normal amounts). He LOVES applesauce and turkey bacon. He does NOT like the vegetable pancakes. But he had to eat at least half of one (they are small, silver dollar sized) before he got the other half of the preferred items. Took us a while to get to this point but we are slowly getting there...

[EllenS]

Hugs, Mukta, I know it is so frustrating.  As you know, when they are trying to create a power struggle and find somethign to be stubborn about, we sort of have to outwit them.

If he is working himself up so, i would not make a struggle over particular foods, but set one or two rules I can live with, such as, "I am not making two dinners", or you must eat protein and veggies before sweet" or whatever really matters to you, and then just don't bother about the rest.  If he has found he is pushing your emotional buttons, it will continue to be an issue.  If you can find a place to stand on where you can say yes or no, without it bothering you, then it will subside.

Hugs!

[Mom to M&M]

Also what Ellen just said! If I stay REALLY calm about the matter, DS ends up eating more/better in the end... Easier said than done though, I know.

[Mama2boys]

Food for thought, thanks ladies am going to mull over thus and see
Tonight we had turkey meatballs/kebabs with pita bread, salad, spaghetti or th boys and tzaziki I also kept hummus on the table. He started off ith just plain noodles with Parmesan then asked for some pita stuffed with hummus but refused the turkey kebabs r the veggies. I don't push. What could I have done differently.

We lo never do sweet and desert for the kids s always fruit so he had a banana at dessert time hope that helps s about 30min after dinner and then had a up of milk another  30 min later.

[Mom to M&M]

I would have given him a SMALL amount of the noodles/parmesan and pita/hummus and told him he could have more of those items when he tried the turkey and/or veggies. Hugs!