How to stop the nf (at 18 months!!!!) with boob obsessed dd?!

[C&B&E]

As the title says - we still have a nf  at 18 months .  4am pretty much every night, and it's killing me.  We did wean it a couple of months ago for a week or so (It took days and days of her screaming for hours while I sat in her room trying to soothe her with my voice )  - but she was then waking at 5/5.30am and would not go back to sleep and since she started teething and had a cold I ended up caving in and started to feed her again  .   

BUT we need to wean it, and this time I am dreading it even more because she *really* loves feeding now.  She won't even drink much but it is more like she likes the comfort of me as a 'dummy'  .  She is constantly asking to feed and goes into full on meltdown when I say no, and  giggles with delight whenever she starts feeding  .  Is this going to be possible to wean her at this stage?  Anyone got any tips apart from what we did last time.  Can someone hold my hand please? 

Thank you 

Oh, I don't feed to sleep at nap or bedtime.  She is fed, then few book, sleepsack on and quick cuddle and put in her cot.  She will often cry for a while so I often sit by her door saying her sleepy phrase and she eventually settles (took half an hour tonight). 

[anna*]

I'm in the same boat with Audrey (although a bit younger). Down to the gleeful giggles when I unclip my bra etc. We're just at the end of a heavy cold/wonder week/teething triple-whammy, so I need to tackle this, but I'm scared because we NEVER have a NW that lasts less than an hour, and I know that if I don't feed her at 4.30-5am we'll just be up for the day. I think I have to just suck it up, start our day at 5am for a few days and then treat it like an EW problem, kwim? It's hard though, no doubt about it, when I know that a quick feed will buy me another couple of hours of Zzzs.

[*Ali*]

Hugs Claire. We weaned the NF with Colby a couple months ago and did pretty much what you did. He is still in our room and it really helped because I could lie in bed half asleep saying our sleepy phrase whenever he cried. I didn't have to sit up for hours and then sneak out. I just thought I would mention it as you mind find it easier on you if you set up a mattress in E's room to crash on when she does wake.

I think now she is older she understands a lot more so you can warn her there will be no milk etc. I also found my two responded well to me saying that boobies were sleeping.

[C&B&E]

Thanks girls - I thought it would be you two who would reply  !  Sorry that you are going through it too Anna (((hugs)))

So if she wakes at 4 do you think I should just sit in her room until a reasonable time (like 5.45am  ) while she cries, and then just get her up and take her downstairs?  Then give an early nap and early night? 

Good plan about the mattress.  Do you think that might become a prop if I'm not careful?

[anna*]

I think just about anything can become a prop so I'd put a time limit on it. So say that for three nights you'll lie on the mattress in her room (from 4-5.45am :/ ), and then after that you'll use your sleepy phrase from the doorway. It's when things drag on that the prop thing rears its head.

[Fiver]

DD was slightly younger when we lost our NF, but I think sending DH in to settle her when she woke too away the option of milk and she knew that.  Would that be possible in your situation at all (not all of them like doing it)?

[*Ali*]

Yeah my DH weaned the BF with Cadan. He did PD and WO.  It worked well because DH used to put Cadan to bed after he BF. With Colby though he wasn't so used to DH putting him down so he responded better to me. DH did share the load when I was sick of it though. Plus we were in the same room so I was there anyway.

The mattress thing would only be needed when she has the NWs so hopefully she won't need it once she is sttn. And when it is taking less and less time to settle her you can easily wean it by moving out of the room.

I had in mind a time when I felt it was acceptable to get up and I tried to resettle until then. For us it was 7.00 so if he woke at 5 that meant 2hrs but after the first 3 mornings he finally went back to sleep and since then he rarely wakes and if he does it normally takes a much shorter time to resettle him. Now he is mostly sttn I let him get up at 6.30 but if he wakes before then I resettle or wait til 7. If we got to 7 and he was still awake I would walk out the room and say I was going toilet then reemerge all bright eyed and say "morning" and we got up. That was so he didn't see it as his protesting got him up eventually.

HTH.

[C&B&E]

Well, we've made a start!

Yesterday morning she woke at 4am (as usual  ), but I just went into her room and sat down for 2 hours while she on-off cried.  At 6am I could take no more so left the room and turned on the landing light and went back into her room and acted as if it was morning and got her up.  She went from crying and moaning to giggling and smiling in the space of two seconds flat! 

The this morning - up at 4.05am, same drill - but this time she fell asleep after an hour and a half, then woke up at 6.45am. 

She is crying and headbanging, then goes quiet for 5 minutes and then starts crying "milk, milk, mummy, milk" over and over.  It's like she really can't get back to sleep without it even though she wants to  .  Do I just keep doing what I'm doing, or do you think W2S is worth a try? 

Oh, DH is usually great at doing NWs but she has really started sobbing for me in the night - so it actually feels easier for me to be the one in there with her.  Also, he has got the flu at the moment - so may be a bit unfair of me to ask him 

[*Ali*]

I would keep doing what you are doing. It sounds so similar to our experience and as the nights went on he just settled more easily and then stopped waking.

You could try w2s as well but you may be better off getting more sleep yourself as this seems to be working.

[C&B&E]

Well, here I am again  but managing to sit outside her door rather than in her room as she is currently sounding much less upset than yesterday-hopefully she's getting the hint!

[mycatmonet]

just saw this claire, i am looking like i am in the same boat with a 4am nw (and atm also 10.30pm) and if no boob = screaming... So very interested to see how you go! Xo

[C&B&E]

jump on board 

She went back to sleep and I didn't even have to go into her room  !  She was awake for about half an hour, but not making much fuss.  She then woke at 6am but I just switched the landing light on and got her up - I didn't think it was fair on her to try and keep her in there any later.  She was asleep at 6pm so that was still a much better night for us!

[*Ali*]

Yeah that is great. I agree a 6am Wu after a 6pm BT is fine.

[anna*]

nice work!

[Fiver]

Good job!

[Erin M]

Woohoo!