I have perusing many postings with the hope that I can figure my LO out, but I can't quite seem to pull my thoughts together. I would be so appreciative of your help. Here's the story:
I am at my wit’s end. I have an almost 5.5 month old son who is having difficulty sleeping . After he was born, we were plugging along and I had been BFing exclusively… He had been waking up around 2:00am plus or minus an hour for quite a while. I would feed him and put him back down. The problem was that from that point on, he would be up at least every hour. I thought that maybe he didn’t need that feeding (he was always falling asleep during it) and that perhaps I was overfeeding him and the result was gas. So, I stopped feeding him at that time, substituting a pacifier, but the behavior continued… I introduced the dream feed at 11 weeks to try to eliminate the concern that he may be waking up hungry… I pumped before going to bed and added some formula to supplement. It never made a bit of difference… I told myself that it helped me because I knew he wasn’t waking up hungry, but it never helped him sleep better or last longer at night… I have tried at least four formulas thinking that the formula was the problem, but I haven’t seen any difference. Meanwhile, he has been chewing on things and drooling since he was two months old. When I brought that up at his four month appointment I ended up feeling foolish because the doctor said that he is not teething (my daughter had two teeth by 3 months so I thought that was a possibility!) and that he was hungry and that I should introduce solid food. So, I introduced baby oatmeal. It has not made a bit of difference. He is not sleeping better during the day or at night. When I went online I ended up finding all sorts of information regarding NOT introducing solid foods before 6 months and now I feel as though I’ve done something terribly wrong. Perhaps his little system was not ready for food?!? He is currently having oatmeal or rice cereal mixed with breastmilk and/or purified water at lunch time only (my doctor had recommended giving it to him at night to help sustain him, but that seemed to make him sleep even worse). So here we are approaching the 5.5 month mark. I do think he is ready for food as he no longer has the reflex of pushing the food out, but I feel completely at a loss. How did my daughter survive me?!? My little man has been waking up at 1:30am and then up at least every two hours from that point on. Is it gas? I don’t know. I try pumping his legs and massaging his belly, but I RARELY get gass out. I’ve tried Mylicon and gripe water, but he does not sleep better…. Sometimes I think it’s not gas at all and I’m just irritating the poor little guy by rubbing his belly, but then, after his morning feed, he sometimes passes quite a bit of gas. The other night he was sleeping soundly (for a change) and my husband did the dream feed and the night was one of the worst he has had yet. Up and crying in pain. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I decided to eliminate the dream feed altogether. I’ve tried it since 11 weeks and he’s only ever gotten four nights (two occasions of two nights in a row) of decent sleep during that time (i.e., slept until about 3:00, took a pacifier and dropped off again until 5:00/5:30). With and without the dream feed he wakes at 1:30. Last Friday I decided to feed him when he woke up at 1:30 thinking perhaps he kept waking at that point because he was hungry. BIG mistake. He was up at least every hour and crying. I’m at the stage where I don’t even know what I need help with. I am going to answer the following questions with the hope that someone will help my sleep-deprived, and thus, very addled brain, sort it out.
How old is your child?
Almost 5.5 months
What’s his/her daily routine?
E – 5:30/6:00… Occasionally, goes back to sleep after burping, but not always. Weekdays, he will often take a 15 – 20 minute catnap in the car on the way to daycare if he didn’t fall back asleep after his morning feeding.
A
E – 8:00/8:30
A
S – 10:00 (~40 minutes)
(A)
E – 11:30 BF followed by cereal/fruit or veg combo
A
S – 1:00 (~40 minutes)
(A)
E – 3:00
A
(S) – On weekdays, he falls asleep for about 20-25 minutes on the car ride home
E – 5:30
A
S – Between 6:30 and 7:00
What’s nap routine? Go to room, pull down shades, swaddle, sit quietly with pacifier and have a snuggle, put down… LO typically nods off, then will wake and cry once or twice (I go back in to resettle him each time).
How long are naps? 40 minutes; His daycare provider has said that he occasionally has taken a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon, but I’ve never seen that happen.
What's bedtime routine? Time? He gets very fussy by the 6:30pm stage. Bedtime routine is typically pull down shades, lay him down and sing a song while gently pumping legs and massaging tummy, swaddle, sit quietly with pacifier and have a snuggle, say his prayers, put him down. He has eczema so we bathe him every other night. On those nights he has a bathe and a massage with cream before the routine. I try to put him down awake and then walk out and walk back in if he gives out. On most nights we can barely get him to bed before he falls asleep, although he will cry once, many times twice before ultimately settling.
Do you bottle or breastfed?? Breastfeed.
How much? or how long? He doesn’t eat for long, typically no more than 10 minutes on one side. I don’t know how much he gets when he first wakes up and at “dinner time” but during the day at work I pump around 6 ounces at 8am, 4 ounces mid-day, and 5 ounces at 3pm.
If breastfed.. one side or both?? One side per feeding.
How many wakes per night? Countless. Just kidding. Last night, for example, he crashed by 7:00 and had two sessions of crying that I walked back in for… one was within a few minutes of walking out, the next was about 20 minutes later. He woke up at 9:00, 10:00, 2:00 (which was rare - he usually he wakes up at 1:30 – you could set a clock by it), 3:30, 4:30, 5:30.
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? The last couple of nights (I used gripe water before bed) he didn’t really need to be picked up; he settled with his pacifier and while holding my hand. This morning, around 4:00, his crying did escalate to the point that I picked him up and ended up massaging his belly. He passed some gas, but only settled for about a half hour before waking again.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? I am embarrassed to say that I don’t know. This little man is my second and, fearing waking his older sibling, I don’t know that I’ve let him cry long enough to determine. That said, if I think it through, I am pretty sure I can say that, as he’s going to bed, it’s a cry… He starts fussing and quickly escalates into crying. During the night I am a bit of a zombie and it may be fussing. This morning at 4:00 was definite crying.
What have you tried to settle?? I used to pick him up, rub and pat his back or pump his legs if I thought it was gas. I’ve taken him into bed next to me which often calms him down, but not always. I have recently stopped taking him into bed because I know that ultimately, that is a short term solution that is helping me get some extra sleep, but is not helping him learn to sleep independently… The last few nights I have given him his nuk (pacifier) and let him hold my hand when he reaches out for me.
What do you do for A time and how long is it? I work full time so I don’t know what his activity time looks like at daycare although I am told it involves an activity center, a swing and a mat and looking at the other kids I'm sure! At home on the weekends, he spends time doing tummy time on his mat, on his back on his mat, in an activity center and in a doorway bouncer as well as being held and being read books, looking at toys, etc. His activity time, including burping time is typically an hour to an hour and half long at which point he starts fussing and rubbing his eyes.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? He has been drooling and chewing on things since two months, but no sign of teeth. He is just on the verge of rolling over (He rolled over yesterday for the first time). However, his sleeping has not been noticeably different.
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) I introduced cereal after his four month appointment because the doctor told me he was most likely not sleeping and drooling excessively because he was hungry. (Needless to say, I felt terrible! Although now I think she was wrong… Whole other story). Anyway, he is a big boy - around 10 pounds at birth and 17.5 pounds at his four month appointment. She suggested feeding him oatmeal at dinnertime which was a total bust. He ended up sleeping worse. He has been having one cereal feeding midday for lunch so that it has time to make its way through his little system. I think now, reading all of these posts, that his system was not ready for food. That said, I think he is now. He no longer has the tongue thrust reflex pushing the food out. He still only has it once a day during lunch, I have just increased the amounts. He currently takes 2 tablespoons of oatmeal or rice with a tablespoon or two of pear or squash mixed with breastmilk and/or water.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? YES. His pacifier. Pacifier use is new to me… My daughter found her thumb at two months and slept through the night shortly thereafter. He has found his thumb but does not seem remotely satisfied with it. I don’t know what to do with the pacifier! Whether to continue using it because he really seems to need it to soothe and hope that he is close to the age at which he’ll be able to pick it up himself and put it back in?
Do they have a lovie? No.
I would appreciate any and all advice. Thank you so much.
