any tips for getting 8 week old to sleep independently?

[mannfam]

We've been trying to use EASY since our LO was 3 weeks old. My DH was able to take 7 weeks off of work so I was able to stay in as long as it took to get her down for naps as she doesn't settle easily and needs the shush/pat or hands on her to get her through the jolts-I am usually in there 45+min and then would only get another 20 min or so once I left the room before she would wake up. She is tightly swaddled, the room is dark, and we have white noise on to block some of the household noises. I keep trying to put her down sleepy but awake but that only seems to work if her paci is in, and of course she is wide awake 10-20 minutes later when it falls out.

My DH went back to work this week and I have found I can't get the LO to nap at all because I am caring for big sis-there is just no way I can spend all day in the baby's room getting her to sleep with shush patting etc. This week has been awful and I can see the LO is getting overtired and thats affecting nighttime sleep, etc.
 
So what can I do without getting into trouble with "AP" or props? I feel like my only option is to pop in a paci and put her in the swing, sling, stroller, or car and just go about the day trying to at least keep to the EASY hours. Anyone have any experience with this? I'm so frustrated and feel like we've been working really hard at this but are never going to see results and I'm wondering if I should just chuck out the independent sleep thing until she's a bit older and can settle herself a bit more?

Any advice would be much appreciated!

[amayzie]

Hi hon!

As far as independant sleep you may be right to not focus on it til a little bit later. Babies really can't develop true independent sleeping until closer to 3-4 months. This doesn't mean that they can't settle more easily if you use something like shh-pat- BUT they still need your help. Lots of people, especially with numbr 2, don't worry about independant sleeping until about 3-4 months and then sort of tackle it all at once. Youmight find at that point that it doens't take you long if you are consistent.

The other option is to just focus on independant settling for one nap and bed time. Lots of people go with the first nap of the day and bed time and then do other things like rocking to sleep, or APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) for the rest of them.  You need to do what is going to work best for your family. Remember- even if you do get a few props or habits along the way you can get rid of them when you need to by using the tools you are already familiar with (shh-pat, etc).

As far as the frustration- it is VERY VERY frustrating- but you WILL see your efforts pay off! Already you have probably found it takes less time than when you started to do the settling in the cot, and when she is ready you'll have that MAGICAL time when you can put her in the bed and LEAVE THE ROOM!! (It will come!!)

What A time are you on at the mooment? Some bubs need a push up at around 8 weeks to something closer to 1 hour 15- give or take. Babies are much harder to settle if they are under tired.

[mannfam]

Thanks so much for your advice and thanks for the encouragement. Sounds silly but it is a relief just to know other people who have implemented the BW method from early on don't necessarily have independent sleepers by 3 months! I think I will try to at least tackle one nap a day with shush/pat when I can and we are still sticking with it for night sleep, which is typically much easier than naps for her.
Part of my frustration has been that the settling has seemed to take longer these last 2-3 weeks, and maybe you are right and I could be trying to get her down too quickly? The A times are kind of varied, some days she can make it 45 to an hour without showing any sleepy signs but sometimes she only makes it about 20 minutes after she's finished nursing and she'll seem ready to sleep again.

[amayzie]

It can be tricky! I'd suggest though that at 8 weeks she should be able to do a more consistent 1 hour A time- and some bubs are starting to need more like 1 hour 10/15 mins. Have you tried changing the activity when she seems tired?  I know you dont want her to be over tired- but it might make it easier for her to get to sleep.

[mannfam]

I guess I don't have a handle on how the forum works yet, I just saw your last response!

Anyhoo-we tried to extend A times a bit this week and she really seems to max out at 1 hour. Anything more than that and she gets really fussy. The window before she gets OT seems really small, I feel like to increase the A time I'm going to need to do it in 1 minute increments or something.

We've been working on getting her to sleep independently for at least 1 nap on the weekdays and at every bedtime and we are definitely seeing some improvements and have been able to get her to sleep on her own in the crib for naps a few times. We are finding that when she sleeps on her own she will wake up exactly at that 45 minute mark. She isn't fussing or unhappy-just awake so it might seem like a UT nap but I can tell she is still sleepy because if I but her in the sling she will instantly fall back asleep and stay out until the next E time. So I am wondering if for the naps when I am able I should be trying to shush pat her to get her to stay in the crib for the full nap time? When we've tried this it just seems to keep her awake-her eyes pop wide open and she seems completely alert. I'm worried if she doesn't get the actual sleep in we'll be dealing with a whole mess of OT for the remainder of the day....maybe I'm over thinking this? Somehow this all gets so confusing!