Hi There,
Our little, spirited guy is 8 and a half months old. He's tiny at almost 18 pounds. I was on bed rest for 4 months before he was born 3 weeks early, and since then the poor guy has battled colic, reflux, an aversion to the bottle or pacifier, an inability to sleep and, most recently, a dislike of solids. We fell into all the traps of accidental parenting, which I used to refer to as survival parenting. When he was first born, he would not sleep and protested every time I set him down. The poor guy could never finish a feed without discomfort and was constantly hungry and in pain. To make things easier on ourselves and him, we began co-sleeping and breastfeeding on demand. I soon became his prop. Up until recently, I would hold him for all of his naps and sleep with him all night. I didn't mind until he became 3 months old and our sleep problems intensified. He was up every 20-40 minutes all night long with one or two longer stretches of 1-2 hours. We refined out night time routine (book, bath, sleep sack, feed, white noise, humidifier, feed) and slowly adjusted his bedtime to 7 (with the routine starting at 6). When he was 6 months old, my husband's work hired us a sleep trainer, which was unbelievably nice of them. She suggested a modified version of cry it out - eliminating all feedings and placing him in his own crib. I talked to my doctor and he wasn't opposed. My husband was adamant that we try it because it had worked for his co-worker and because his job had gone the extra mile to get this resource for us. So we tried it for 5 days - the longest and most horrible days of my life. He was FRANTIC, screaming as if someone murdered him for HOURS at bedtime AND during all of his wake ups. He lost his voice from crying. I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown and my husband had to physically restrain me from going in his room. The poor guy got terrible diarrhea and I fought tooth and nail to call it quits. I feel sick when I think about it and still worry that it hurt him. It's still a sore spot in our marriage as my husbad is a huge proponent of the CIO method. After that, it went from bad to worse. The poor guy lost all trust and I felt I failed as his mother. He would constantly wake and never settle. I brought him back into bed many nights out of desperation... but that didn't work either. I felt so confused and know that I confused my poor baby as well. My husband was desperate to try something and urged me to go back to CIO. We compromised with PU PD. It worked for the first few days (we were excited) but then he totally regressed. He reacts violently, screaming hysterically when we try. My husband handles bedtime and his first waking. I am responsible for the overnights and naps, since my husband works. Bedtime can take 30 min- 2 hours of crying, same with the first wake up. When it comes to the overnights, I usually end up giving in and literally crawling into his crib with him until he falls asleep. I often feed him to calm him down, which I know probably isn't the best solution. I am desperate because I feel like we are hurting him again with his hysterical crying that can last for hours... even though we are on night 8 of PU PD. He is getting his first tooth, so we give him advil to combat the pain. He has a lovey so he doesn't feel alone. His crib is elevated. He has been on different types of reflux meds but my doc suggested taking him off ... for risk of overmedicating him. We have followed the same wind down ritual since he was 6 months. I know he's probably OT because he has a hard time napping but he just won't sleep. I try to put him down after 2 hours of awake time all day. I try PU PD at nap time but can't take the constant crying. It's hysterics with hiccups. It's heartbreaking. I will eventually rock or feed him.. and that is starting to not work. He just reached the sit up and pull up milestones and he "practices" all night. Sorry to ramble. I feel like a failure as his mom and am desperate to help my poor baby sleep... without hours of crying. Any suggestions???
