Help! not sure which to start on first...

[98txag]

Hello -

 I'm not sure which board to put this on because there are things that could fit into so many of them.  My 9 month old has always been a terrible sleeper.  He's a catnapper & I could count on one hand the number of times he's slept through the night & that hasn't been in at least 6 months!  He's Milk/Soy Protien Intolerant & breastfed.  I cut milk/soy out of my diet when he was 2 months.   He's been sick quite a few times (likely germs his sister brought home from preschool) in his short life with RSV, a stomach virus, ear infection, colds, etc etc.  So in order to comfort him & keep him fed/hydrated while he was sick, I feel into some accidental parenting - including nurse to sleep.  He does not put himself to sleep (except he will if we are in the car in his carseat).   Here is his typical schedule...

Wake 6-6:30AM
Breastfeed: 6:30AM
Breakfast: 7:30AM
Nap: 8:45 (nurse to sleep - usually naps 30-45 minutes and very very rarely 1 hour & 15 minutes)
Breastfeed: 10:30
Lunch 12:00
Nap 1:30 (nurse to sleep - again usually naps 30-45 minutes & very very rarely longer)
3:30 Breastfeed
5:30 Dinner
6:00 Bath
6:30 Breastfeed & nurse to sleep. 

Sometimes at this point he will sleep 5.5 hours and sometimes only 2.  He is ALWAYS up 2-3 times per night at different times.  Usually I will nurse him to get him back to sleep.   
I'm certain his waking after 30-45 mins during naps & so frequently at night is because he doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep with out me or the breast.  My question is what do I start with first?  I want to stop nursing to sleep.  Do I stop that all at once?  Or stop the naps first or the nighttime first?  And how do I make sure he's getting enough to eat especially in that last feeding of the day? 
Any advice is appreciated.  Thanks!
Denise

[*Ali*]

I think the first thing that would likely help would be to extend his first A time to closer to 3-3.5hrs I suspect he is Undertired for that first nap and then gets overtired from then on because he hasn't had a restorative nap but still does a full A time after the short nap. You may need to extend it by just 15 mins every 3 days or so to avoid him getting OT. Right now he is having a long period awake right before bed after a short nap and that means he goes down to sleep OT and therefore sleeps fitfully and wakes easily. As he isn't able to self soothe (the car seat is still a prop as he has the motion and sound to lull him to sleep) he then requires your breast to get back to sleep.
Have you read about the Gentle Removal Plan for weaning a feeding to sleep prop? Here is the link to the info. Gentle Removal Plan
I think this would be a good plan for you as your LO has never been an independent sleeper.
Another alternative would be to use PUPD which may be quicker but would involve much more crying I expect.

Personally I would tackle the naps and daytime routine issues first and then when he is better at going to sleep without your help in the day you may find the night wakings reduce on their own.  It should be a quicker process to then wean the night feeds as he will have the skills to put himself back to sleep.

Eventually you are aiming for a routine with two long naps of 1.5hrs or more and 3 A times of around 3-3.5hrs.

What do you think?

[98txag]

Thanks for your reply!  I will try extending his first A time & see if that will make a difference.  And I have read about the gentle removal plan & even tried it but not had much luck.  My husband works a strange schedule but will be home for the next week & I think I'm going to have him help with PU/PD & hope that will help some since he won't have the milk as a reminder/temptation for the little guy. 
Thanks so much for your input.

[*Ali*]

Good luck