PLEASE help. Sleep deprived mummy

[pinkladyangel]

Hi all
Please could someone give me some advice?
My baby boy is 18 weeks old and used to be a model baby. Happy and content all the time and slept 7pm until 8pm with a dreamfeed at 10.45pm
Now it feels like someone has swapped him for a grumpy monkey that has sleep problems.
His old routine (I say old as everything seems to have gone out of the window)was
8am awake, nappy change, feed then play
9.15/30 put down to sleep
11.45 awake, chat in cot, nappy change, feed, play
1.30pm down to sleep
3.45pm awake etc
6.30 bath, feed and usually in bed by 7/7.15pm
10.45 dreamfeed

Perfect!!!!!
Now, we'll start at bedtime
6.30 bath, feed, bed as before
10.45pm dreamfeed
2am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am waking and mostly able to settle himself. At least one of these time he'll proper cry. Dummy in but carries on waking.
7/8am awake feed etc
9.15 down to sleep
10.30 awake. If I leave him hysterics and if i bring him down he gets grumpy and cries, rubs eyes (clearly still tired.) If I put him back to bed he will scream. This carries on until next feed. (He's def not hungry. He has 6/7oz bottles and can go at least four and half hours between feeds.
He is the same with afternoon nap but will settle back to sleep sometimes and go on to have a couple of hours but still waking at 45 min intervals.
He is teething but surely it wouldn't just affect him when he's asleep.
Am really at my wits end so any advice will gratefully be recieved.

[anna*]

He needs more A time hun. At 4 months old most can handle a good 2hrs awake before their first nap. Also it's possible that the dummy is becoming a problem and he needs repeated replugging?

[pinkladyangel]

Thanks for that. Here I was thinking it was more of a lack of sleep issue. How much A time would you recommend. I usually go on his cues that he's tired.
X

[anna*]

Well as I was looking at your old routine it had 8am awake and 9.15am nap which is only 1.25hrs. Most at 4 months can manage 2hrs (although some may need a little less for the first nap of the day). The first nap is really the key one, because if that one is too short (from overtiredness or under tiredness) the whole rest of the day can go wrong too. So while he can manage 2hrs after a decent (1hr plus) nap, after a short nap you'll need to cut that A time back.

Teething can for sure only affect them when they're supposed to be sleeping - when they're up and awake there is lots of other stuff going on to distract them. I would try giving him meds before naps and see if that helps.

Also, what do you think about the dummy? Do you think he is waking because he doesn't know how to get back to sleep without it?

[pinkladyangel]

Thanks for your reply
He was awake as usual every hour from 2am this morning.
I tried to keep him awake for those 2 hours but failed miserably. I put him down at half 9 as he was just staring into space and lost interest in everything. He eventually fell asleep at 10 but was awake 20 mins later. He whinged for about 20 mins then fell asleep again for 40mins. He whinged again from 20 past eleven until quarter to 12. I tried the pu/pd but he screamed until I fedhim at 12. He fell asleep drinking his bottle but woke when he finished it. I gave him calpol at 9.10 this morn so def not pain waking him. I ended putting him back to bed at twenty to two as he nearly fell asleep on me. He woke about half hour ago and is still whinging now (2.50pm). Am really finding this hard work on no sleep.
Now he's crying so will try pu/pd.

[pinkladyangel]

Back again. Tried pu/pd but he got hysterical so swaddled him and he went to sleep within 5mins. Is this a short term solution or is it something I should try for all sleeps including night time. What age do you stop swaddling?

[anna*]

Most people will be looking to stop swaddling at around this stage, but if it helps you out for now then go for it and wean it later. If he's threatening to roll in his swaddle then obviously you need to wean it straight away.

How are you doing PUPD? how about shush-pat, are you using that with him?

Is there any suspicion of pain or discomfort? I noticed you had a post about lactose intolerance...?

[pinkladyangel]

Hi again.
I only swaddled out of desperation and it worked. Prob won't try again unless necessary.. With pick up put down I picked him up shushing and as soon as he stopped crying I put him down again. I did this a fair few times but everytime I put him down he got more and more hysterical. Do you think I should have carried on?
We had a much better night with him last night and the only thing different was i didn't change his nappy before df. Maybe coincidence.
Am still confused though. for his nap this morning I really paid attention to his cues. We had A time as norm then he started getting irritable so I picked him up and had snuggles. His thumb went straight in and his eyes were starting to roll. I took him up and sat cuddling then put him down and left the room. He laid chattering for a bit and within 15mins monitor went quiet. Yesterday I read about the wake to sleep for naptime and thought I mighy try it. I went in half hour after he went quiet. Big mistake. he was wide awake. I really feel like a failure and feel like I don't know my previously happy baby. Right now (40 mins after checking him he's awake and chattering. Why won't he sleep.

[anna*]

Well you know a big part of it could be developmental. 4-5 months are the PRIME age for short naps - it seems like just about every baby goes through (have a loko around the boards at the numbers of nap posts about 4-5 month olds). That's not to say you don't keep trying BUT there may be only limited scope for success until he's a little bit bigger. My little ones both started napping soooo much better around 6 months.

Some babies just find PUPD to be too much. First I'd try with him shushing until he's really calm - really drowsy - and then lying him down. Then try and shush-pat him in his crib without picking him up (unless he gets really hysterical of course in which case pick him up and shush pat him to totally calm again). That's one option. If that doesn't work, try ONLY leaving him in his crib and settling him there. Some find the 'up down' too stimulating.

Don't do shush-pat or PUPD for hours on end. But do give it a good chance to work. We usually say 45 mins at nap time, and if he's not near settling, abandon the nap, do a reduced A time and try again for the next nap.

How long was this morning's A time? 30 mins is often overtired but he may have a shorter sleep cycle - the chatting before and after sounds more like UT to me.

Are you suspecting he has a lactose intolerance? Also do you think he is reliant on his dummy?

[pinkladyangel]

He's on sma lf milk at the moment. We go to see the paediatrician on monday. I still don't know if he had a sleep at all this morning. Judging by the look of him I suspect not. Wirh the EASY routine it sas to keep them up til their next sleep is due. I dont think he'll make it til then. As soon as he started to fall asleep yesterday I took him up to bed but he only slept for 20 mins. Its so confusing. I never had any of this with my daughter when she was a baby. She was pretty text book. He doesnt have a dummy at all usually. I only give it to him when all else fails. He hasnt had it since monday early hours.
I did start to think it was the developmental thing. It seems like all else is failing miserably.
Thanks for all the advice so far. Maybe something will help soon.

[anna*]

Yeh I wouldn't keep him up to keep to a schedule, you can reduce the next A time. How long was his first A time?

[pinkladyangel]

His first A time was 1hr 40mins. He didnt sleep at all this morn. He had feed at 12. He started to fall asleep in chair abouthalf 12. If he went to sleep it was for 45 mins ish then chattered for for about 40 then screamed so I did shsh pat for40 mins. still wouldnt settle so he's now sat in chair. He looks so tired but just wont give in.

[anna*]

So I'm thinking there must be something more going on. I think the lactose intolerance is worth checking out, also going to the GP and have her check his ears etc. Don't spend ages trying to resettle short naps, especially if he has woken up reasonably happy - it's just soul destroying. Try and enjoy him instead. Can you AP a nap this afternoon? In the buggy or in a sling?

[pinkladyangel]

Managed to get him off at 3 & he just woke up crying. I agree. Theres something def not right. When he wakes up crying it kills me. I gave him calpol before he went to sleep so it cant be pain waking him less than an hour after taking it. He really wants to go to sleep and tries so hard to settle himself. Calpol wouldnt take away tummy pain though would it?

[anna*]

No it wouldn't. It would help with teething or ear pain.