10 wk old - Habitual waking?

[crazymama2]

My 10 wk old DD seems to be waking up out of habit for more than 2 weeks now. Last feed is @ 11pm. It's too early for CIO but i dont know what to do. I need help to get this to stop and here's what's been happening and why I think it's habit:
- she wakes up around the same time every night: 1 am, 3am, 430/5 am
- she isnt hungry bc when i do feed her (430/5am) she spends very little on my breast (I EBF)
- she had really bad gas which seems to stop bc she doesnt show the signs of gassiness anymore yet still wakes up
- when she wakes up, i give her maybe a 1-2 to settle but as soon as her fussing picks up, i offer a paci and start patting her. If her crying picks up, i pick her up
- when she's been like this awhile and not sleeping and i feel exhausted, i put her in our bed so i can shush shush and pat pat while lying down myself.
- i dont want to co-sleep and dont want to bring her into our bed anymore but i am just so exhausted from not sleeping!
Please HELP!!!!!!

[jessmum46]

Hi there and welcome . Are you familiar with the Baby Whisperer books?

Just wanted to let you know that we don't recommend or condone CIO or CC for any child at any age for any reason because it can damage your LOs trust that you will always be there for them when they need you.  Nobody is going to recommend that you do that here

At ten weeks old it would be very unusual for an EBF baby not to need night feeds, and it would also be pretty early for habitual wakings to have developed.  I would certainly feed at any waking more than three hours from the last feed - it may be that she doesn't spend much time on the breast because milk supply is at its highest in the early hours and it doesn't take as long for her to get a full feed in - these babies are very efficient!

Do you get a good burp out of her at the 11pm feed?  Does she show any signs of reflux discomfort? Reflux 101 - General reflux information. How often is she feeding during the day?

[crazymama2]

Yes, I am reading Tracy's book like a bible. I dont want to do CIO and I just dont know what to do. Last night, i put her to bed @ 8pm, DF @ 111 pm and she ate less than i know she would and then woke up @ 3am. For the nxt 1.5 hrs i did shush shush pat pat and each time she'd jolt herself awake even though i continuously did it. @ 5 am DH fed her and she did not go back to sleep. So I feed her lets say 5am, 8, 11, 2, 5, 8, 11 - so 6-7 times. She did have gas earlier but i think it's better. She sleeps very well during naps unless she's OT. Also, she started having this period of time in the early evening - say 4-7 when just cant stay awake when i try to wake her up for a feed and activity. I am slowly losing my mind.

[jessmum46]

Did you feed at 3am?

(((Hugs))) these first few weeks and months are really tough.  What does her daytime look like at the moment with A times and nap lengths?

[crazymama2]

No i didnt feed at 3 am bc i interpreted her cries as trying to get back to sleep. During the day she naps 3 times  and I wake her up @ 1.5hrs if she's not up. and then a catnap of 30-40 min in the early evening.

Ugh now that she's OT from the night the 1st nap is a disaster.

[jessmum46]

I would have just fed - it was 4h since a feed, and probably got you all back to sleep a lot quicker.  I completely understand not wanting to create bad habits, but feeding at 3am is pretty reasonable for a ten week old .

Are you following cues or the clock for when you put her down for her nap?  Or A times?  Or a combination?

[crazymama2]

Ok ill feed next time - it's just at 6 wks she was able to go 11pm- 7/8 am.

I follow cues first but if she's been up for 1.5 hrs w/o cues, i make sure she;s in her bed by 1.5 hrs being awake. Thank you sooo much for all of your help!

[crazymama2]

And yes, it's the bad habit of snacking at night or waking up to eat when she doesnt really need it, is what i dont want to create . Any thoughts on how i can get her to take in more at her DF? Ive done what Tracy mentioned in her book yesterday, short 5 pm feed, then 7pm instead of 8 pm feed, but she still took in little @ DF

[Erin M]

You can cut out the cluster feeds at 10 weeks if you feel it's messing with her intake and just focus on feeding her every 3 hours throughout the day.  For the dream feed, I would often unswaddle my babies, feed one side, change diaper, reswaddle, and then feed the other side -- that way they'd wake up enough to take in more and then just nurse back to sleep on the second side.

The first 3/4 months are really just a string of smaller growth spurts with some time in between -- just because she can sleep big stretches at one point doesn't mean it will continue (sadly, for mom's sleep!) -- I always found with mine that if I had to repeatedly settle them, it just meant they were genuinely hungry -- and FWIW, doing a feed and then popping back to bed is so much quicker than constant resettling with an eventual feed anyway.   

[crazymama2]

Thanbk you so much, Erin. I stopped cluster feeding around 6 wks when I saw that DD wasnt interested but did it yesterday to see if i can get her to take the DF. Even though i EBF, for DF I give a bottle of BM.

I want to make sure that DD isnt going hungry of course but also scared to create a habit.

[*Kara*]

also scared to create a habit.

Huge hugs hun... starting as you mean to go on is important but she is just so little still that you do kinda of have to go with the flow at times.  Many of us will tell you that feeding to sleep during the night (or even the BT feed) generally doesn't cause issues as it would if done during the day.  I agree with the ladies above, if she wakes in the night and it has been at least 3 hrs since her last feed, assume hunger, feed and back to sleep.  If she starts waking more frequently than every 3-4 hrs, then we worry it's a prop.  And don't worry, we can help with that too.

Those early months are not easy at all.  This too shall pass

[crazymama2]

Thank you!

Also, DD started doing this weird thing where she just cant wake up from her afternoon nap - meaning her "best" sleep comes around 3-6 lets say. And I do everything to wake her up and keep her awake short of stripping her naked and suspending her by her little legs  . Why is she doing this and how can I get this to stop? All the lights are on, TV is on, toddler DS is bouncing off the walls, im basically screaming in her ear and torturing with my boob and she's still out!

[crazymama2]

and on a related note - maybe i am crazy but i feel like DD''s night is 3pm-3am, and day is 3pm-3am - why i dont understand!!!

[Erin M]

maybe i am crazy but i feel like DD''s night is 3pm-3am, and day is 3pm-3am

Honestly, it wouldn't be unheard of.  These LOs do all sorts of weird things with their days and nights sometimes.

Could you post your day like this:
E
A
S
so we could see what it looks like?  I know that looking at it like that really helps me see what's going on. 

Is the df the only time she gets fed from a bottle?  Sometimes you need to switch the nipple flow to get them to take more (or sometimes the flow is too much and they can get gassy from it). 

[crazymama2]

Usually bottle only during DF, but I sometimes top her off w/ pumped milk from a bottle here and there but not much

A sample EASY, oh and ive been keeping her on EASY as much as i can since she was born. Also depends on how well she naps, if she had a poor nap i try to feed her a little earlier and put her back to nap w/ limited A so as not to promote OT:
E - 8am - 845
A - 845-930am
S- 930am-11
E-11-1145
A-1145-1230
S - 1230-2
E 2 -245
A - 245-330
S - 330-5
E - 5-545
A - 545-6
S - 6-630
E - 745-815
A 815 bath/bedtime
DF 11pm
E 5 am

today and yesterday this part S - 330-5
E - 5-545
A - 545-6
S - 6-630

looked more like me trying to keep waking her up for her 5 pm feed and she didnt fully wake up till 6pm. Then when i gave her a bottle @ around 7 pm she started falling asleep. Then I bathed her @ 745, finished feeding @ 8 and bed @ 815.

So sorry if it's all over the place but our EASY is a bit diff each day