NW are exhausting me - HELP!1

[motheroftwoboys]

My son is currently 13 weeks old and over the last two weeks has developed a horrible habit of waking 8-9 times through the night.  I feel so sleep deprived and exhausted that I would appreciate any feedback on possible solutions.  He currently wakes at 7:30 and cannot tolerate any longer than one our of wakefulness through the day.  I have to work really hard on his naps, he usually will nap for 1hr or 1hr 15 minutes...sometimes it may only be 45 minutes but I usually have good success in getting him back to sleep at these times for another 15 to 20 minutes.  His day sleep is usually around 3 to 3 1/2 hours total.  Bedtime is currently at 7:00 - this is preceded by bath, bottle, and being rocked.

I recently began exclusively bottle feeding - before this was doing a combination.  My son has had awful gas since day 1...we have switched to a lactose free formula which seems to have helped.  He has 4 or 5 bottles during the day which totals about 22 ounces...I've tried to get him to drink more as this seems low to me but he won't.  At night I only feed him twice.  This first time around 12:00 where he'll finish 4 ounces (but he seems like he could probably do another 1 or 2) and at 4:00ish where he'll only drink about two ounces.

A typical night is as follows: asleep normally by 7:00 or 7:30 at the latest.  He is swaddled and takes a paci.  First NW around 10:00, then 11:30, fed at 12:00, NW at 2:30, 3:30, fed at 4:00, NW at 5:15, 5:45, 6:00 and then able to finish his sleep.  Each time I go in on a NW I have to plug him in and he resettles quickly, sometimes I'll pick him up and he settles almost immediately.  He never seems to really 'wake up' as his eyes stay closed.  I've tried waiting a few minutes to see if he'll settle before rushing to 'plug him in' but he gets more worked up/cries.  I'm wondering if the paci is the issue here? As he seems to generally settle quickly with it.  I've tried unswaddling him or doing one arm unswaddled as he has found his fingers but he flails and can't settle. 

Prior to the last few weeks he used to go to bed around 8:00 and would only wake two to three times through the night - around 1:00 and 4:30 or 5:00 where I would feed him and he would resettle no problem.  One time around 5:30 which would normally be from gas.

Feeling so exhausted and caring for my other son is making me want this resolved as quickly as possible! Any suggestions/insight would be greatly appreciated.

[Erin M]

Hi there, welcome!  The 3/4 month mark is really tricky for sleep.  Let's see if we can sort out what's going on here.

I have to work really hard on his naps, he usually will nap for 1hr or 1hr 15 minutes...sometimes it may only be 45 minutes but I usually have good success in getting him back to sleep at these times for another 15 to 20 minutes.

Even though he has a hard time staying awake for more than an hour during the day, this really makes me think that he can use some more A time.  You can stretch it quite slowly, just by 5-10 minutes every few days.  I found with mine that we had to do some moving about the house to keep from getting too fussy -- and we'd generally just end up in his room towards the end playing quietly on the floor.  Better naps will help your nights as he won't be quite as OT at bed time.

I recently began exclusively bottle feeding - before this was doing a combination.

Did your increase in wakings coincide at all with this?  It could be that you need a different flow nipple/teat on your bottle or that he's a little sensitive to the particular formula that you're using.  If there's some connection, I'll find someone who knows much more about bottle feeding than I do to do some trouble shooting and see if there's something that needs to be tweaked there.

This first time around 12:00 where he'll finish 4 ounces (but he seems like he could probably do another 1 or 2)

Just out of curiosity, why don't you give him more if you think he could take more?  A 13 week old baby definitely needs to eat at night, it's really just a whole lot of luck if you manage to get away with not feeding them at night at that age. 

I'm wondering if the paci is the issue here? As he seems to generally settle quickly with it.

It very well might be -- he seems like he's having trouble transitioning between sleep cycles without it.  He's way too young to learn to replug -- none of mine ever took the thing, but I think the conventional wisdom at this age is to either deal with replugging it yourself, ditch it completely, or take it out before he falls into deep sleep so he's not looking for it when he goes into lighter sleep.

Is he falling asleep independently at bed time?

[Erin M]

And here's some info on weaning the soother if you're interested: Gradual Weaning Process (Recommended for young infant)

[motheroftwoboys]

I have been increasing his A times slightly throughout the day and this has helped with him getting more consistent naps in.  After he wakes up for the day at around 7:30 he will usually have about 4 hours of naps in he day - normally 1 hour a piece before his bedime at 7:00pm.  So I don't think he would be overtired at night?

His increase in night wakings did not coincide with him becoming exclusively bottle-fed.  I have tried over the last several nights to increase his ounces, but he actually seems to be taking less - only 3 ounces at his first feed at around 12:00 and only 2 ounces at his first feed at around 4:00. 

I tried doing gentle removal with him and it seemed to work well on the first night - he only woke of 3 times!! The second night however he was up to 4 times, and it has increased every night since then.  He REALLY wants to suck while going to sleep, and when he wakes briefly through the night is turning his head looking for the paci!! I'm wondering too, if you have any thoughts on why his night waking are worse as he gets closer to his wake up time.  He seems to wake every half hour from about 5:15 onwards. 

[Erin M]

Better naps will help your nights as he won't be quite as OT at bed time.

What I meant here is that a whole bunch of short naps are not as restorative as a few longer ones, so by increasing A time you might get longer naps and then have a LO who is less OT by bed time, if that makes sense.  So, I'd say you're on the right track with increasing your A times to get better naps. 

The early morning hours are a period of light sleep for LOs -- if there is any sort of discomfort or if your LO is in need of a routine tweak (like needing more A time) that's when we often see more wakings. 

I think you've got a bit of a paci addiction going on.  Night 3 is often a big regression night when teaching independent sleep, you might persist with it for a few more nights and see if it gets you anywhere.  It might also be worth posting on the Props board for some more help with that -- I'm afraid none of mine would ever take the paci, so I'm not so good at advising about how to get rid of it!