Support for dropping the nap part 9.

[Truly Blessed]

Vicki - I know, he's huge too  going to be anther 6foot + monster.

Ah fab, it's lovely to be tall as a man. Sam is so tall, but the puppy fat has gone. DH keeps saying "Look how big his hands are!"

Sorry I'm digressing. I send love to all of you Ladies. Bungling through the days here too. Sam seems to be going in a 3 night cycle, as in by the 3rd night he can only manage 11 hours as OT kicks in. On day 6 of NN he crashed in the pushchair. So I hope he'll do another one of those soon. We're on day 9 now. Up at 6.30! Happy Mother's Day to me. He has had only 11 hours.

Happy Mother's Day to you all! (Whether you're in the UK or not  ) What awesome Ladies you all are 

x.

[amom526]

Well so much for that- A woke up at 445 old time (typical awake time for him when Ot) so 545 new time. I guess I will put down at 12 today and hope for an early nap.

[*Kara*]

^^  Things are messy here too... woke at 7am new time but didn't really go to sleep until 930pm new time so still a short night here... though we may have some health issues complicating matters... if it's not one thing, it's another!

[creations]

amom have you tried a longer nap at 2pm like Sara said?  We've been doing 2pm nap for several months, 2hr even 2.5 hr (no cap just varies in length) and still make an 8pm BT no fussing.  On no nap days we do EBT but on nap days I don't cap.

[amom526]

I really haven't tried letting him nap for longer in the late afternoons. I am planning to try that this wee though. I just get nervous about putting him to bed at 8 pm or later because it takes him so long to fall asleep. Although maybe that wouldn't happen if he wasn't Ot/ ut.

[cath~]

Hi all

Sorry haven't been around much recently.  Have just been catching up.  Feel like we've been going down quite a different route to most people here so not much advice I'm afraid... 

Hugs to all those with difficulties though.  This transition is a PITA indeed.

Basically, we've just been capping L's nap shorter and shorter since 18 months (luckily she is fine after a capped nap - bounces straight back up happy as can be) to keep BT at 7pm and nights as long as poss.  We've been at the stage for a while now where she has either no nap of 10 mins max.  Using EBT to catch up when/if needed. 

However, last week, I realised that even a 10 min nap affects BT and reduces her total sleep.  She plays around much more at BT after a 10 min nap and then gives us a much shorter night.  Mon-Thurs last week she had 10 min nap each day and BTs were a bit of a PITA with several call-backs each night.

However, Friday I was at home and did a no-nap day, and BT at 6.45 pm.  She settled quickly (just one call-back) and had a 12hr+ night   Same thing on Saturday.  On Sunday BT was a bit messier but probably because she had caught up and was a little UT again at BT.

So, we have decided that this week we're just not going to offer the nap at all.  If she nods off in the buggy when out and about, fine.  Otherwise, no nap.  From the past few weeks, I'm pretty sure she's going to get more sleep overall like this and be better rested.  FXd it works!

[barbaraz78]

WOW, Cath, you are very brave waking her after 10 mins! I wouldn't have the heart... But F is a bear if I wake him before 45 mins, so no way...
That said, this week-end I decided that I am not going to push for a nap at home any more during the weekend if it is not a special occasion (e.g. we need to go out in the evening and bt will be late). At preschool they let him nap, and he sometimes takes it sometimes not. At home, getting him to nap is a power struggle. So I decided I will put him down at 2.30 and put the gro-clock at 3, and tell him to relax and have quiet time. I tried twice last Sundays, and it worked. If he falls asleep so it will be, otherwise he will be up.
He really needed a nap last Sunday (due to a short 9.5 h night as we were out the night before) and I pushed for it, but I had to tell him and insist we couldn't go to cinema (we have planned cinema for the afternoon and he really wanted to go) if he didn't sleep. I did, because I knew he needed to nap after such short night and otherwise he would have been too tired to go out and sit still in the cinema, but I felt bad to threaten him for an afternoon nap, when he's really growing out of it...

[dijjibob]

Hi
Cathn,
The nap cutting seems to have worked well for you and you have managed to keep the 7pm bedtime!
I have nap cut with mine but never less than 30 minutes and then put up with a later bedtime until can cope with no nap, ( still waiting untill we can do long car journeys without nap with dd1.even at 3y 8m )
I think I have done it this way to keep a constant schedule.
Just a question, when you capped the nap, I'm thinking due to earlier wake or not settling at bedtime, did you keep bedtime the same or earlier?
I think this is where I was coming unstuck with  dd2.

[Truly Blessed]

So, we have decided that this week we're just not going to offer the nap at all.  If she nods off in the buggy when out and about, fine.  Otherwise, no nap.  From the past few weeks, I'm pretty sure she's going to get more sleep overall like this and be better rested.  FXd it works!

Hi Cath, I finally did the same thing with Sam 10 days ago. I am pushing him to 12 hour days, shooting for a 7 to 7 schedule. So far we have had 3 naps, one in the pushchair (unheard of for months!) one where he fell asleep on the sofa sitting up (never before done that) and then today at nursery (for the very first time). His behaviour is suffering, and his nights have been anywhere between 11 and 12 hours, mostly 11 even on NN days. But I feel the time has come to set him a schedule and give him the chance of setting his body clock into a routine. BT's have been a dream. I tell him a story and then sing him some songs, and often he has nodded off while I sing. There is no "Mammy I'm not tired" palava and jumping out of bed, which tells me he has been UT for a long time at BT. So that's the positives. I am still working through figuring out what time BT should be on a nap day. I am aiming for him to 'self regulate' with naps as and when he takes them, but no longer shooting for them IKWIM  He handles the 12 hour days well, and I don't have to work at keeping him going until BT IKWIM  But he is tired. However as I said, he is taking naps just about anywhere when he needs them, because he is getting to the point where he is so tired he has to.

I wish you lots of luck, and hope it works out really well for Lydia.

I have a thread running on TS, if it's any help for you to follow along, or join in for added support.

(Hugs)

x.

[cath~]

WOW, Cath, you are very brave waking her after 10 mins! I wouldn't have the heart... But F is a bear if I wake him before 45 mins, so no way...

Luckily for us L is fine after even a v short nap.  Although waking her in the car/buggy can be a challenge!

Just a question, when you capped the nap, I'm thinking due to earlier wake or not settling at bedtime, did you keep bedtime the same or earlier?

The main reason was not settling at BT but also earlier WUs, so night being shortened at both ends.  When we capped the nap we kept BT (i.e. the time we put her down) the same, and found she settled quicker and slept in longer in the morning.  Since she's been about 2-3 months old, BT has always been 7pm (or occasionally bit earlier if she needs it, but never later). So when we shortened nap by, e.g., 10 mins, we'd get 30 mins (or more) extra sleep/day in total.  When BTs got worse again and nights were shortening, we'd cap the nap a bit more to re-lengthen the night and keep her total sleep as high as possible.

Just put her down and BT went well today.  She seemed ready for bed, i.e. tired, but not OT.

He really needed a nap last Sunday (due to a short 9.5 h night as we were out the night before) and I pushed for it, but I had to tell him and insist we couldn't go to cinema (we have planned cinema for the afternoon and he really wanted to go) if he didn't sleep. I did, because I knew he needed to nap after such short night and otherwise he would have been too tired to go out and sit still in the cinema, but I felt bad to threaten him for an afternoon nap, when he's really growing out of it...

I don't think you should feel bad.  He is old enough to understand WHY you are asking him to nap.  And you are teaching him an important lesson that we need sleep to have energy BEFORE we do things, as well as needing to go to sleep after we are tired.

Hugs Vicki - I will have a look at your thread.  I hope Sam settles into a set BT for you and starts to catch up and self-regulate.  I'm sure he will.  It must be tough when his behaviour is suffering in the meantime though.

[Truly Blessed]

He really needed a nap last Sunday (due to a short 9.5 h night as we were out the night before) and I pushed for it, but I had to tell him and insist we couldn't go to cinema (we have planned cinema for the afternoon and he really wanted to go) if he didn't sleep. I did, because I knew he needed to nap after such short night and otherwise he would have been too tired to go out and sit still in the cinema, but I felt bad to threaten him for an afternoon nap, when he's really growing out of it...
I don't think you should feel bad.  He is old enough to understand WHY you are asking him to nap.  And you are teaching him an important lesson that we need sleep to have energy BEFORE we do things, as well as needing to go to sleep after we are tired.

I agree, and F like all our Spirited LO's loves to understand things doesn't he   

Hugs Vicki - I will have a look at your thread.  I hope Sam settles into a set BT for you and starts to catch up and self-regulate.  I'm sure he will.  It must be tough when his behaviour is suffering in the meantime though.

Thanks Cath, he had a whopper nap at nurser of 1.45 and they had to wake him! I didn't mention capping it, as I didn't think he would sleep that long  . It resulted in a BT of 8.15 and him not sleeping until 9.10 

x.

[barbaraz78]

Thanks ladies! I sometimes feel bad being so strict with bed. But I know he needs it as if I leave some space he immediately uses it to delaying sleeping. Like tonight, I allowed TV before bed, while he usually has it before dinner. But there was a friend before dinner and he asked me tv while doing aerosol, so I said yes, telling him that TV should be in substitution of books. It ended up with a meltdown that brough bt at 9.30...
It doesn't help dh is away for a week, travelling for work, and in the end he said he misses papa. There is a component of sa too.
Sorry Vicki for the late bt.

[ZacsMumme]

Catherine. Good luck with no naps!!! it's funny, Z would kill me if I capped his nap like that, but I see T even now this young would probably be fine with it. Personality thing really aye

Vicki (OT again ) Z is skinny and tall now. All that fat is gone   holding your hand through this 7-7 schedule. 

[*Kara*]

We have pulled two no nap days and things are getting better.. I have found that DD can't function with a short nap (anything less than 1 hr 45 and she is no one's buddy!).. nights were suffering so no nap it is.  Her total sleep is much better (about an hour more total).. behaviour is tough at times but she gets better each day as she catches up with sleeping longer nights..

And, who doesn't love a 635pm bedtime without a peep until 7am (or even 730am!)

[clairebear79]

Ladies how on earth do you cope with the OT & EW that comes with doing nn days when they wake at a regular time eg 6.30-7am???

Up to now we've reserved nn days for when he wakes post 8am & its worked beautifully as i've been able to keep his day really short at 10-10.5hrs & this has given a 13-14hr night.

However, as the number of nn days is increasing, his nights are shortening & i'm sure OT is setting in, his behaviour is proof enough of that! what used to be EBT of 6.30 is no longer EBT since he's already been up 11.5-12hrs, so i dont know how on earth to get him any more rested? I simply can't do BT any earlier due to work commitments (& quite frankly we've been down that road before & ended up with a child who went to bed at 5.30- 6pm & got up at 4am so I'm not keen). He will still nap, but is resisting more & more & totally refuses at nursery, which is when he needs it the most. Yesterday was the 2nd 12hr nn day in a row (nursery day), bt 6.40pm & he's been restless all night & up at, wait for it....  5.40am, no resettle. Ugh!!!