Anyone have a baby who dropped NFs on their own?

[~inbalance~]

DD is over 7 months now and I still feed her every time she wakes (2-3x) because it's easy. I can't stomach the thought of trying to settle her without feeding as she is so used to it and it would be a very long screamfest. I'm kind of hoping she will go back to sleeping longer stretches again on her own and eventually drop NFs on her own too. Wishful thinking? I actively sleep trained ds1 and half heartedly ds2 (though he did drop the last feed on his own), and tried harder to settle them without feeding, but I just don't feel like I have it in me this time. She's always been a better sleeper than the boys but has regressed since she started teething. Now she is up every 3hrs (sometimes longer) and I feed her even though I know she doesn't need it. Am I crazy to think this issue might sort itself out? (I actually don't mind getting up to feed her, it only takes 5 minutes)

[georgeo]

Mind if I tag along? I'm in a similar boat with dd.

[*Kara*]

Alexandra wasn't BF but did nightwean herself for the most part... I just gave her the final push.  She was much younger though...

She never had more than 2 NF (didn't do a DF or clustering either).  She was down to 1 NF at 11/12 weeks, down to none at 19/20 weeks (but the trade off was a 10 hr night!)  Thankfully, she napped like a champ!

[Skadiver13]

My honest opinion? Its fine until its not. At some point she's not going to be nursing anymore and you'll still have the NW's so you'll ether have to sleep train then which will be much harder or you'll end up with another prop like rocking. I would bite the bullet and work on the independant sleep. My DS is 8 months and the 1st go round was hard but we did it in 4 xays. A GS and thedn illness and developmental stuff has put us back and this time its a bit harder but at some point you'll want your sleep back.

[JennŠ]

Mine did.  She started at every 2 hrs around the clock.  As she got older she slept longer stretches at night and dropped feedings along the way.  The last to go was the 0330 one at about 11 months corrected.

[KathrynK]

Sophie did it all by herself (at 9 weeks, don't hate me!)
Alex woke repeatedly during the night and was hard to settle without feeding until 14 months but he had reflux which was not properly diagnosed or medicated for ages- finally took sessions with a cranial osteopath to sort him out.
xxx

[jessmum46]

J had a NF at around 4am until 7 months and then dropped it completely herself without any encouragement from me

[squeakersmum]

Both mine dropped on their own.  That said I was still DFing until about 8 months with Abi (can't remember when I stopped with Ben).

And they both had other props too. DS with his dummy, DD with her lovey; so that probably helped with teething etc

[creations]

Mine dropped his NFs himself, but like other pps it was very early on.  I continued the DF though as his reflux meant very little day time milk was taken so I relied on the BT feed and DF to get milk in when he was more relaxed and able to drink more.
I tend to think if they are going to drop on their own they do it early on (like within a few months) rather than later on.
Maybe try to encourage a lovey if she doesn't already have one?  DS has a lovey but I didn't allow him to sleep with it when he dropped his night feeds, he was too young to leave anything with him all night, but it's certainly been a HUGE comfort for him through illness, teething, etc.

[jessmum46]

I agree with the lovey idea too - I started introducing it at 5 months during a BT feed, she had it in bed with her from around six months and now it's such a comfort to her when she's sick, tired or when leaving her at nursery.  If you're worried from a safety perspective you could use something very light and breathable like a muslin?

[*Liz*]

Megan did  . The switch to FF at 9 mths helped a ton. I think you know my theory - that my babies always fed heavily at night because I had low evening supply and never had the energy to do anything about it. In fact I know that was the issue. Megan went from 2-3 NFs to STTN instantly on a bottle, DS went from waking every 2-3 hrs to sleeping until 4am. He dropped the final feed just before 12 mths (although I did dilute feeds a bit).

But I guess I do believe that as long as the BF isn't a prop they will drop them once their tummies are full enough, but that will be 12-18 mths for a lot of bF babies because of the lower supply in the evening thing  .

Megan was very adept as being cuddled to sleep mind you. So if she did wake she would fall asleep on DHs shoulder.

Oh, and I am certainly not advocating FF over BFing. Most of you will remember why I suddenly stopped feeding Megan (sound medical reason). I had intended to feed until she self weaned.

[creations]

Very good point about the formula feed and breast feed.  BFing does mean more night feeds, for longer.  it's certainly worth taking that into account when looking at other LOs who drop feeds and STTN earlier.  Mine was ff because I couldn't bf even though I had planned to.

[jessmum46]

Though just to give a different perspective, J was EBF with no dream feed . Pretty much only one night feed from the start.......lucky me!

[squeakersmum]

Yeah, both mine were still EBF when they dropped the NFs. Once BF was actually established though (establishing in the early days was a nightmare with both) I never had a problem with low supply in the evening.

[shivi]

I was never going to cope with NFs and a F/T job so from the get-go I did the old-fashioned tracy style "training" - DF EBM in a bottle from 10 days old with Oscar- the DF was the milk I pumped first thing in am so very fatty etc. We had him STTN (with DF of course) from 14 weeks consistently. He WAS prone to EWs and still is, but I preferred that anyway as I had to get up for work....

With Emma, I had much more significant low supply in the evenings and what I pumped in the am I used to settle her at 7pm, then could rest up till 11pm (or sleep) and would DF from the breast  - DH brought her to me. She STTN consistently and well, without EWs, from 10 weeks!!! Such an angel!

Mine DID wake in the night but I'd offer the dummy - in the days that they were sleeping next to me in the Moses basket - and I never fed any closer to the DF than 3 hrs (so if DF 11pm, I never fed earlier than 2am).  But by the 10 and 14 week mark we never heard a squeak from either of them till it was morning - honestly!

From what I know now after studying my bfing course etc and becoming an IBCLC I'd probably not be as "strict" with myself and their feeding, but that would also depend on when and if I was going back to work....with Oscar it was such a "stress" to get him STTN before 4.5 mths (as I was back in work at that stage). He did it fine but I remember thinking about it and wishing him to be born already to "start working on it" - he was born at 41+4 and I HAD to go back to work on a certain date so his being on the late side was eating into my time with him and my time sleep training him.....

I am just someone who does not survive the working day on broken sleep - even if it is for 5 or 10 minutes...and I had to do something about it early on....so I started with this "plan" from the outset. Don't know how it'd be if I hadn't. Probably in Emma's case it would have been a lot harder....as we had real supply and impatience issues from her!

HTH and hugs xxx

[~inbalance~]

Wow, loved waking up this morning to a whole discussion here, lol. 

She is not waking out of hunger, she is waking for other reasons (mainly teething but maybe sometimes tummy, too cold, etc) and feeding is a prop in the sense I can't settle her without it (not that I have tried all that hard!) but she doesn't feed back to sleep, always goes down awake still. 

She was sleeping much longer stretches before 6 months, often only waking once.  We even had one sttn before everything fell apart!  (earliest any of my kids has ever sttn!).

I guess in the back of my mind I keep thinking I'm just making it more of a problem by feeding her (especially when she has been waking between 10-11pm), but at the same time I don't really mind and it's so quick.  Also I keep telling myself this is my last baby and I want to enjoy the cuddles and motn feeds. 

I am coping fine really, tired but not exhausted and getting through the days without feeling run down.

But yeah, I am so hoping that she will just drop them and start sleeping better after she's cut a few more teeth.    I just don't want to think about all the screaming that would come with proper sleep training plus she would wake the boys for sure and they need all the sleep they can get.  Gotta keep the peace!  lol

[anna*]

I am convinced (hands on my ears, singing) that these stories of BF babies who drop night feeds on their own are myths.

(with apologies for mums of babies who did).

[jessmum46]

ROFL Anna!!

[mumofalice]

I have had one of those myth babies 

DD used to feed between 10pm and midnight, then between 3 and 4am and wake at 7.20am (yes, that precise LOL!) in the very early days. She dropped the MOTN feed at 5 weeks  woke at 6am the next day and then got back to her 7.20am WU within a few days. A few weeks later I found BW and her post BT feed became a DF - we did keep that for a while though as she wash such a little dot.

However, DS is completely the opposite and is still having (at least) one NF at 10.5 months - he hasn't STTN once, the longest he's gone was 4.37am and that was one off. I can now settle WO feeding so try and settle him unless it's post 3am otherwise he seems to WU earlier for another feed - but TBH no 2 days and nights are ever the same anyway 

Em - I was (as you prob remember) feeding at least twice (and usually three) times a night at 7 months too . . . I still beat myself up that I've created the 'prop' though - I think I responded to him way too quickly in the early days as I was conscious that he would wake DD - he is sooo noisy!! I also tended to feed because I knew it was the quickest way to settle him and get back into bed myself 

[~inbalance~]

With my DS2 I pretty much always fed him, but I do remember getting fed up somewhere between 7-9 months and started settling him without feeding for that first waking, and I think that encouraged him to sleep longer stretches (he was always a lousy sleeper right from the get go, up every 3hrs from birth until probably 9 months!).  But other than settling that first feed I always fed him, and he dropped the other feeds on his own.  It took awhile, I think he was down to only a 5am feed around 11 months, and then dropped that one around 16 months, and all was fine.

It's just DD has always been good at doing long stretches, and just last week was sleeping until 1/2am again and then around Friday started waking around 10, so it is always up and down with her, and because I know she has done it and can do it, I just don't feel like bothering with resettling.  I just feed her hoping that this phase will pass and she'll go back to her own ways.  Again though I am aware that by feeding her I very well can be encouraging that 10pm wakeup to continue, even though it doesn't bother me in the least that she does wake.   

She is cutting her second tooth right now, so that could be the reason for the 10pm waking.

But I also know that the longer I let it go the harder it may be to fix, which is why I'm always thinking about it (trying to think ahead, yk?).  Because I can already tell a lot of things are harder to do now that she is older.  She used to self settle a lot easier than she does now, and she is more willing to put up a fight when she is upset. 

And on the other hand (because you know, I'm always coming up with excuses for why I do what I do ), I feel like it's a good thing we have this wonderful thing called BFing to calm our babies when they wake due to things like teething, and that's what BFing is there for.  It's meant to be comforting (I guess this is the attachment parenting side of me talking! ).  So then I figure, if it doesn't bother me, and if it gives her comfort, and if it means we all get back to bed sooner and without tears, then I really shouldn't worry about it. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I am convinced (hands on my ears, singing) that these stories of BF babies who drop night feeds on their own are myths.

(with apologies for mums of babies who did).

lol Anna, I have two of this mythical babies! Really hoping for a 3rd (just jinxed myself didn't I?  )

So then I figure, if it doesn't bother me, and if it gives her comfort, and if it means we all get back to bed sooner and without tears, then I really shouldn't worry about it. 

That says it all to me...I would have kept feeding Spencer at night for ages just to keep things peaceful...she went from a DF and 2 NF to sleeping through one night out of the blue...holy sore boobs that morning when I woke and realized she hadn't!

[~inbalance~]

holy sore boobs that morning when I woke and realized she hadn't!

haha, yeah on the nights where DD has slept really long stretches I find myself lying awake hoping she will wake up to feed just so I can get comfortable!  lol

[eva026]

Mythical baby here too;)
We did the DF with EBM and BF the 2nd NF between 3-6am. Suddenly at 9.5mo she started refusing the DF so we had to drop that and 3 days later she stopped waking for the other NF too. She does occasionally wake hungry now if her BF feed was small.
What is important is that she has a lovey and BF was never a prop. More like the opposite in fact, she can't wait till it's over and she's full so she can go play.

 

Really hoping for a 3rd (just jinxed myself didn't I?  )

lol, you so did!

[*Liz*]

Well I'm with you Anna  .

I guess it is the comfort thing that is the issue - and we use it like that - they become more aware and then want to keep it - and Mama's end up weaning the feeds.

But that obviously doesn't mean to say you should do anything other than what you are doing Em  . I ended up weaning Megan's snuggle prop at about 13 mths and it was easy enough, and we kept it because at the time it was actually helpful to have that prop anyway.

[shivi]

my babies never used me as a prop - couldn't - I was out of the house for 8 hrs + everyday from 4.5 mths in Oscar's case. I kept up the DF and the late afternoon feeds as long as I could for this reason....I was the prop-aholic, not them! Emma was self-weaning at 17 mths and I was so determined to get to 18 (really wanted to get to 2 yrs but with me out of the house, work stress and her spirtedness and like Eva's baby, always in a hurry to get nutrition over with to get back to playing) that I reintroduced a kind of DF around 9pm when she was asleep for the night! For a month!

I really do think the DF (the original one, the one from birth, not 17mths LOL) is what helped mine BEGIN sttn. Their bellies were full, totally, and it was on MY terms, not theirs.....not very IBCLC or attachment parenting but such is life. I wonder what I'd be like with a third....probably will never know!

S x

[~inbalance~]

Yeah, I keep thinking that if it becomes an issue where I really have a problem with it, then I will be ready and know what to do to fix it.  I think dreading it is worse than actually going through weaning the feeds, kwim?  So I think about it in anticipation and it scares me, but I have done it before and can do it again if needed.  I guess we'll see where it goes.  I'm certainly not thinking I should try weaning any feeds now with only tooth number 2 cutting!    And I did find with both the boys their sleep improved greatly after those first 8 teeth were out of the way, so hopefully she will get a move on with the teething and pop a few more, and then either start sleeping better or give me a big enough break from teething to feel confident trying to resettle without a feeding.  Because goodness knows I'm not going to try it if I think she is teething! 

[Erin M]

Yeah, I keep thinking that if it becomes an issue where I really have a problem with it, then I will be ready and know what to do to fix it. 

I think this is what it comes down to.  If you're ok with it, then don't worry.

DS was also mythical -- and trust me, I thought that was *never* going to happen as he had a df+a nf still at 8 months -- I slowly weaned the df around 9 months and he miraculously dropped the nf at 11 months.  Granted, I always tried to keep NFs short (one sided instead of two) when he'd let me get away with it so maybe that helped?

[Mama2Athena]

My DD dropped her last NF right around 4 months old.  Prior to that she would always stir around 3:30/4:00 AM and to get her back to sleep quickly before fully waking, we would rush in to feed her.  But then we noticed that she was not as hungry for her morning bottle.  One night my DH decided not to NF her and just let her work it out.  There wasn't any crying, just lots of stirring and it did take her a while to resettle.  Of course it helped that she is a very easy going baby and learned to self settle very early on.  We have not had to NF her since, unless she is sick and we feel she needs the extra fluids (she tends to drink very little during the day when ill).  Now if I could get her not to EW (5:30/5:45) every morning and also take better naps at daycare, we would be set .  There's always something, right?