8 mo fussing 9pm-12am, NW schedule problems?

[aviyaz]

Hi! First time poster here but long time fan of baby whisperer although I don't think I have the system down yet.

My 8 month dd seems to be getting harder and harder to get to sleep through the night. At one point she slept at 5 hour stretch but now (ever since teething and traveling) she wakes up at least every 4 hours. Every 4 hours wouldn't be so bad (although I am terribly sleep deprived) but she wakes up many times between 8-12 needing to be soothed. We normally do not  nurse her back to sleep unless it has been hours of crying and its getting near feeding time anyway. (I know that might be a mistake but she really does seem hungry.) I feel like I'm really messing her up!

Anyway, here's the situation her routine is not 100% consistent, it depends on when she finally falls asleep for the night but it is pretty much a 4 hour schedule.

Daily routine is:
~8:30 A and nurse
9:30-10 solids (baby cereal)
11 - 11:30 Nap (when signals like eye-rubbing show)
12:15-1 UP (she sometimes wakes up tired from her nap at 45 min and I can get her back to sleep but sometimes her 3 y/o brother won't allow me enough time to soothe her, and othertimes she seems inconsolable and is just tired but not wanting to go back to sleep, maybe I'm not trying the right things?
~1:00 nurse
2:30 solids ( baby food, normally squash/sweet potatoes)
3:30 Nap
4:30-5 Awake (same as morning nap, sometimes wakes up but wants to be soothed back to sleep)
5 nurse
~7:00 solids ( baby food again)
~8:00 bed time (swaddle, although she gets an arm out quickly, often must be nursed again before she will fall asleep but does not need to be actually nursed to sleep.)

I breastfeed (she has rejected bottle for months) on both sides when she will take both sides (often she loses interest.)
She wakes up at 12 am and around 4 am (occasionally will go til 5 am) to nurse. When she wakes she is hungry and looking for me, very upset if dh goes to her instead.  Lately she has been fussing a lot between 9-12 (after being but to sleep at . My husband goes in and shushes/tries to make her comfortable and offers the pacifier as much as she needs it. She will fall asleep for a few minutes but be up again 10-20  minutes later and this continues until I nurse her again at the next feeding.

I don't think she is teething but I feel like I can never tell until they pop through (She has 2  now, from abt 6 months). She has a serious prop attachment to her pacifier but is beginning to reject it when she "wants" me instead. We also have  a white noise machine in our room.

The hardest part for us is the constant needing to go in and out of the room between 9-12. I feel like we're not doing something right and I have no idea what to try next. Please Help!!!

[katie80]

Hi there and welcome to the forums! I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply yet. 

Typically, those early NWs signal OT at bedtime, which is reflected in your EASY.  She's often not getting restorative naps, so is really tired by the end of the day.  At 8mo, most babies are doing 3-3.5hr A time to get full naps.  So, I'd start pushing the morning A time to at least that (gradually, by 10-15min every few days).  I'm sure she's giving tired signs a bit early, partly out of habit and partly out of tiredness (because she's not getting restorative sleep), but she's not staying awake long enough to get a full nap, so it's a bit of a vicious cycle.  If the nap is short, then do a shorter A of about 2.5-3hr to get to the afternoon nap.  If you get a good morning nap, then you'll want to shoot for 3-3.5hr A again before the afternoon nap.  Here are some sample routines to take a look at for her age: chronological EASY samples, 7-9 months

It does sound to me like the paci might be a bit of a prop if your DH is often giving it back to her.  She's old enough now that she can learn to replug herself, so I'd start working on that.  Give her lots of practice during the day and start to guide her hand to it in the MOTN rather than just putting it in for her.  She will need to be unswaddled for this, but I think that might actually help her start sleeping better.  By this age, most LOs like to move around and get comfy on their own.  Is she an independent sleeper at nap and bed time?

As for feeding, it's fine if you want to keep feeding her every 4hr, but I do think she could go longer.  The one thing you do need to try not to do is resettle for awhile and then stop to feed.  This is confusing for her and reinforces the prop of needing to be fed to go back to sleep, even if she doesn't fall asleep feeding, iyswim.  Yes, she might be a bit hungry, but not enough to where she can't go at least 6-8hr.  So, resettle her til she falls asleep and then you can feed her upon the next waking, even if it's only been 10min.  I would make sure you feed her every night before bedtime still.  Milk has more calories than most solids at this age and should still be the main source of nutrition until about 1yr.  I'd move the last solids up to more of a dinner time at 6pm and then nurse her before bed. 

Hope that helps!