Help with 16 mo picky eater!

[Mamamateo]

Hello all!

My DS is 16 months old and eats pretty much the same meals as my DH and I. At daycare, he'll have whatever's on the menu without any fuss.

My problem is that he's started saying 'no' and shaking his head whenever I start coming in with a spoon. He hasn't even tasted anything yet! He'll even do that with his favorites.

My DH was feeding him the other night and DS was wailing and trying to get away from the spoon ("No, no nononononono!". My DH said: "But you love (whatever it was)" and took the opportunity to quickly get the spoon in his mouth. DS, enjoying whatever was in the spoon, stopped fussing and started eating calmly.

Now, I'm not 100% convinced that forcing the spoon in is the best way to go. Even if he end's up eating. Doesn't this encourage this kind of behavior? What do you guys think?

I also want to add that if what's being pushed into his mouth isn't a favorite, he'll just spit it right out.

I thought that he was maybe acting this way because he'd rather hand feed himself out of tray, but if I put food down, he'll end up either trowing it off the tray or playing with it. I'll clean everything up and give it another try with another food. No dice. Apparently at Daycare, she has no problems getting him to eat whatever she puts  in his tray.

I'm thinking that either we've enabled this behavior, or he's really not hungry in the evenings?

What do you guys suggest??? I'm so afraid of encouraging  negative behavior with him! Supper time has quickly become a stressful, unpleasant time... Except for the dogs, of course. Can't say they have any complaints with the flying food! ;-)

Any feedback would be super appreciated.

Thanks a bunch! :-)

[creations]

It's pretty common for LOs to have much less of an appetite in the evening and to take most of the calories they need in the earlier part of the day.  Your stress levels might reduce if you try to keep that in mind.  I know we all worry about our LOs eating hey?  LOs also tend to copy one another at a dinner table and tuck right in so perhaps he has this motivating influence at daycare?

I wouldn't force or trick him into taking the food.
I would certainly go for the finger food, or loaded spoons or forks which you put down in front of him and leave for him to pick up, or a bowl of food he can shovel from himself (either with spoon, fork or hand his choice).  Which ever (or a combo) of these methods you choose only give a little of the food and be sure to offer one food type you know he likes alongside any he might not like so much.  At this age it's totally understandable he wants to self feed and the process of learning to self feed is going to be a bit messy, it just is.  Limiting how much you give him in one go will limit the amount he can drop and after one or two reminders 'food is for your mouth or leave it on the tray please' you stop offering more.  I would leave any mess on the floor until the meal is fully over so that getting your reaction and getting you to clean up between every spoon full doesn't become a game.

Another thing you might do is offer him some messy play so he can learn about gloop and gravity without it being at meal times.
hth