4 month old in sleep regression; advice or insights please!

[monopod]

Last night was better! I don't know if any single thing helped because as usual I changed a number of variables all at the same time:

- moved from miracle blanket to woombie
- managed catnap at the right time and shorter final A time
- did not feed to sleep
- managed to settle her in her cot at several wakings through getting in really close and letting her mouth me

We still had wakings in the hours after she was asleep in her cot (at 2015), but I managed to resettle quickly. I then fed her at her 2315 waking as it had been 4 hours. She woke again at 0110 and again I resettled her in her cot. She kept waking though and finally at 0230ish I brought her to bed with me (oops) . Fed again but at all other wakings between then and 6 I settled her without a feed.

My next step is to try and recreate the same conditions in her cot... I think she may need more blankets for instance as it's warmer in my bed! We will persevere...

[monopod]

Yay we are also getting better feeds today any coincidence that she's also turned the wonder week 19 corner?? 

[katie80]

Sounds like progress and yay for turning the WW corner! I think you have good ideas for going forward. Is there a stool or something you can put beside the crib to help you settle her but not ruin your back?  Maybe you can reward yourself with a massage when she's sleeping more independently!?!

Keep me posted...

[monopod]

Hi Katie After one better night it went to pot again the next... She woke practically every hour!! I was a zombie yesterday... It will take some time to bed in though so I'll try and evaluate after 10 days... Zzzzzzz

I really don't know why her nights are so disturbed now her first A times of the day have gone back to 1h 45 mins and she's not napping as long in the morning, and she's also seemed hungrier, although yesterday she was quite happy with waiting 5h for a feed thank you very much none of this bottle business

She's lucky she's cute!

[katie80]

Oh dear, that sounds exhausting! Could it be discomfort of any sort?  Typically, waking that often can be a sign of discomfort.  (((Hugs)))

[monopod]

I really don't know Last night after getting her asleep in her cot at 2030 I had to resettle her at 2100+, 2240 (fed her lying down and then fell asleep!! So back in cot at 0030), 0200+(fed), 0300+, 0517, 0540 (brought her back to bed with me and ended up nursing her as I couldn't resettle her otherwise). Then I woke her for the day at 0715.

Is it because she can't make it through the nighttime transitions by herself? Maybe she can't self-soothe because she's swaddled? She used to flip her head from side to side to send herself off to sleep but has stopped doing that so much. The soothing bit is getting quicker but she's still waking up at such frequent intervals... When will this end!

I know I haven't got her naps sorted (she's fighting naps like you wouldn't believe; I can't work out if she is OT or UT!) and that will be a contributory factor but gah, I'm shattered!

[monopod]

I've just read on the Naps board that 35mins is a UT nap not OT! If that's true then all the battles I am having with her naps are maybe not because she is overtired; she's simply not ready to go to bed... She used to go to sleep independently if I had the timing right, chatting away to herself in her bed then drifting off, but I haven't been able to get her A times right for weeks now...

[katie80]

(((Hugs))) hon, yes 35min can be UT, can also be OS; it's a tough one to call. But, if she was previously going down well and is now fighting, I would guess UT. This is a tough age for getting A times right.

I don't think being swaddled is causing her not to self-soothe. Typically, it helps until they're rolling, and I'd be hesitant to get rid of it right now, unless you think she'd start sucking her thumb or fingers.

Hope you can catch a small break this weekend!

[monopod]

Thanks for being here, Katie... I am really grateful for the support

Yet another 35min nap this afternoon. Started wind-down at 1.75h as she was rubbing her face... But she fought it all the way until she crashed at the 2.5h mark (had to nurse her as she had gone berserk )Then we had to go out for a while and I tried for another nap when we were at 1.75h again... Then I realised I hadn't fed her and she was crying because she was HUNGRY, bad mummy!

So she fell asleep on the boob of course, and I tried to transfer her, but ping! The 15mins spent dozing on the boob bought her another hour...

But. She wasn't crying, so I just left her in her cot and went to reassure her each time she started to fret a little... And she's just put herself to sleep So increasingly I'm thinking it's an A time issue leading to a vicious circle of bad afternoon naps, nursing to sleep, OT and consequent NWs. I guess I just have to do this by more trial and error?

[monopod]

Well, we're past the 35 min mark and she's through it with no problem... Will see if she makes it through 45!

Edit: well, she slept for 50mins and woke up crying. Tonight bedtime has been easy; she didn't feed to sleep (not OT), was relaxed throughout, and fell asleep pretty much independently. Will see what the night holds...

[katie80]

FX!!

I guess I just have to do this by more trial and error?

Probably... I often kept an EASY log for a week or two at this age to try to find a pattern and stick with it.  It certainly seems like you're already doing that a bit by just watching her.

[becj86]

Hi How are you going now?

[monopod]

Hi becj and katie the past few days have flown by!

Well, the last night I posted about ended up being quite rubbish despite her not being OT and falling asleep independently. I still haven't found a pattern as such; the quality of her sleep often doesn't seem to correlate with what you think it would!

Since last week we've had an improvement in nights, I think. But it's been quite erratic and I'm hanging in there to try and see if we can't get some consistent results. What I am very confident about now is that she can absolutely put herself to sleep cheerfully and peacefully if I get the timings right, which makes me feel much better about letting her nurse to sleep if she needs to (e.g. if overtired). I realised over the weekend that she might in fact be cold in her cot, so we've increased the temp in the house and I've given her an extra blanket too. I'm trying to tank her up as much as possible towards the end of the day and that seems to help. I still haven't sorted out that last bastion of afternoon naps, though -- possibly the last piece in the puzzle?? She consistently gives me 35 or 45 minute naps regardless of preceding A time, although she can do a long morning nap no problem. Most of the time she wakes up happy though; should I just roll with it??

[becj86]

She consistently gives me 35 or 45 minute naps regardless of preceding A time, although she can do a long morning nap no problem. Most of the time she wakes up happy though; should I just roll with it??

Is this for the 3rd nap - if so, its probably fine to be a catnap and just do BT after a shorter A than the rest of the day.

We found tanking up and independent sleep were pretty important at this age in terms of reliable sleep.

What does her day look like now?

[monopod]

Oh not just for the 3rd nap, unfortunately... Though I did manage to get a 55 min nap out of her yesterday with some wake to sleep intervention...she often wakes very happy and bouncy so I wondered if our energies were best placed on trying to extend those afternoon naps...

The odd thing is, she acrually seems to nap better on ridiculously long A times! I can't seem to get her down for a nap any earlier than 2.5h A time; she's happy and sprightly and fights all the way if I try to get her down earlier (even going to the bedroom for a quiet wind-down, the slightest sign that I'm preparing to put her in bed and she starts to squall! Yesterday it was 2.75h. She's 5 months next week and although she does seem to be able to handle a high A time, that does seem excessive.

I'm beginning to think that the answer lies more in her feeds. She's having a pretty good night so far, touch wood, and I realised that what I did differently yesterday was resist feeding her 'in between', so I had loads of milk just before bed. Watch this space...