Nap dropping mess! clueless and tired right now....HELP PLEASE!!!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Everyone,

After months of studying the 1-0 transition I am back in the 'What the hell do I do now  ' category.

DS was 3 in January. Previously we tried no nap cold turkey but he has never been ready, so he would do a 1 hour nap and an 11 hour night. On no nap days a 12.5 to 13 hour night..perfect  . Now we have total nap refusal in the house, and a total fit if I suggest it. Only naps we get are in the car and I can't afford to drive around every day, fuel is too expensive. So here's where we're at:

If he has a car nap, he generally needs 7 hours plus to sleep and 6 hours afterwards, so a 14 hour day at least.

If he has a no nap day we used to do 11 hours max in order to get a long night. As we're currently stuck in an EW cycle of 6 to 6.30 (early for us of late) that isn't possible, because he isn't tacking on any more so a 5 o clock BT shifts WU to stupid o clock.

He can't handle longer than a 12 hour day, because his nights are currently short.

He is clocking up 11 to 11.5 hours right now, and he has previously done 12 to 13. He handles OT well, thank the Lord, but he is lolling around and lying his head down a lot, and he has shadows under his eyes, which isn't the norm.

How do I get this little fella more sleep right now, and me! I am starting my new job soon and I'm sleep deprived too.

Have you BTDT 

My only thoughts are to go set BT of 7 pm  However, if he has an impromptu nap then I know that he won't go down at 7, so consistency seems like a thing of the past  .

TIA!

Vicki.x.

[Shiv52]

We set bedtime. Once we were at the stage you were I literally went out of the way to ensure there were naps as the odd nap was messing up the whole transition. After 2-3 weeks she started tacking on and weve had 12.5  plus hour nights ever since.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Vicki, will he fall asleep in front of a DVD if completely necessary? 

Like Shiv we also avoided the nap if we could and brought bedtime forward. My guy copes well with ot too and was able to crash out straight away. Did start to tack on too but is low sleep needs so it didn't last!

[Truly Blessed]

Thank you so much Ladies, that's really helpful.

Vicki, will he fall asleep in front of a DVD if completely necessary? 

Do you mean for a nap or at BT  He is good at 'quiet time' and loves to snuggle up, but he will rarely fall asleep on the sofa any more, although it would be fine by me if he did. WRT BT I have just done ST again, and he is finally (most of the time without a fuss) going over alone at BT, which has been a long haul, so I would rather he was in bed at night when he falls asleep.

I also feel that naps are counter productive now, but it really does tie you down in the afternoon doesn't it  to avoid being in the car I mean. I'm not sure I could bring BT forward due to EW right now, so I may have to go with a 7pm BT.

What do you think 

x.

[barbaraz78]

I would also set the bt. Differently from pp, we are offering the nap every day and allow him to self regulate. BUT bt time is always the same, minus half an hour if he didn't nap. And F still naps at home and at daycare (where they always offer a nap, so we have actually no choice), only refuses napping when he is not tired enough.

[Aishi]

Hugs hon xx no advice just commiserations. We've been in the same boat since St DS at 28 mo. Like yourself I feel like I've tried every combo of nap and Bt to keep the nap.!!

30 min cn capped led to ot and ew of 5!. Uncapped late nap and Bt worked for a while then led to ew. Capped 1h nap and 13h day led to ew!!!

So I'm just here holding hands xx think im going to take a leaf out of your book and set Bt to 7 (wu is currently 6/ 6.30) and just try to ride out ot....

good luck hon xx

[Truly Blessed]

We set bedtime. Once we were at the stage you were I literally went out of the way to ensure there were naps as the odd nap was messing up the whole transition. After 2-3 weeks she started tacking on and weve had 12.5  plus hour nights ever since.

Thanks Shiv, that's really good to know, good call on your part!!! 

I would also set the bt. Differently from pp, we are offering the nap every day and allow him to self regulate. BUT bt time is always the same, minus half an hour if he didn't nap.

Thanks Barbara, so do you give him a 30 minute nap, if he naps when he is with you  What does he do at BT  is he ever UT  and if so is he a LO who will lie in bed happily until he is. Sam isn't, he hates being put to bed UT, and he really lets us know about it!

Hugs hon xx no advice just commiserations. We've been in the same boat since St DS at 28 mo. Like yourself I feel like I've tried every combo of nap and Bt to keep the nap.!!

Thanks Aishi, (Hugs) for you, that's early on to have been in that position  Good luck with set BT. Follow along and let us know how you get on too 

So today we went with a 12 hour day. He handled it so well considering he had 10 hours sleep last night. However he is usually better the day after a nap day, when his sleep has been spread. He was up at 6.30 and down at 6.30 on the dot. He actually fell asleep whilst I sang to him, bless his heart, he was shattered. On the plus side, at least the BT circus' seems to be over for now, which we had for some time earlier on in the 1-0.

So my ideal plan is to go with 12 hour days. If he naps unavoidably then so be it, but I will try and avoid any longer than 30 mins. Then I will do as you do Barbara, and adjust BT by 30 mins, but whether that will work if the nap is late, I don't know, he may fight BT. But, I think it is better to try that, rather than have a really long day and no consistency at all, again  .

If he wakes at 5.30 tomorrow, I'm really not sure what I will do  Pretty sure he won't handle a 6.30 BT after that. My hope is that he will sleep 12 hours. Hope springs eternal eh    I also have the problem that once he is awake, it's game over, he is so loud  and even if I get into bed with him he won't resettle any more. So trying to get him to resettle is futile and only results in me getting really frustrated and then this transfers to Sam, so we start our day off miserable. It is better for us to just get up and for me to try my best to be as cheery as he is  which is not easy as he is bright as a button and raring to go in the morning. He will sit cuddled up with me on the sofa for a good 45 minutes/1 hour though, he just loves to snuggle down in front of the TV with me which is precious  .

I will report back tomorrow Ladies, and may be seeking your opinions once more.

Thanks so much for the support 

Vicki.x.

[Buntybear]

We pretty much do a set BT of 7 tho if he is particularly tired it will be 15-30 mins earlier. He isn't really really tagging on either so we have 12.5-13 hour days generally. Some days he handles it better than others. We have a lot more tv than we did before to give him that much needed quiet time.

No advice sorry. When Olly was like this and having really short nights it was a regression. Xx

[Truly Blessed]

We pretty much do a set BT of 7 tho if he is particularly tired it will be 15-30 mins earlier. He isn't really really tagging on either so we have 12.5-13 hour days generally.

Thanks Hun, yes, I remembered you saying this on the support thread. I also wondered if regression may be in play. It's been weeks since he napped at home, but less than 12 hour sleep is just new this last week.

x.

[Buntybear]

Actually it coincided with totally dropping the nap so it could well be OT while adjusting.

[twogirlsmommy]

Hugs! We are in the same boat and I finally just decided to set a bed time b/c she is only doing 11-11 1/2 hr nights so a 6:30 bed time gets us a 5:30 wake up and like your dd she is loud, and she always goes to the bathroom to poop so then we here I POOP! PLEASE COME WIPE ME BUTT! and she had started to camp out in the hallway with all of her "friends."  In the beginning we were having NW as well as the 5-5:30 EW (she use to sleep 7 to anywhere between 7am and 8am)  So I set bedtime at 7pm and have reconciled the fact that my day will now start at 6:30am the latest with a small prayer that she will begin to tack on if we just keep to the routine.  Last night dh had dd in bed at 6:45 and whereas she went to sleep no problem b/c she was exhausted she was then up singing at 5:30 so I made him get up with her this morning lol.  I never had this many problems with the other nap transitions this one is just rocking all of us and we are all sleep deprived and grumpy lol

[barbaraz78]

Vicki, we actually are with 1 h nap at home (or 45 mins if he fall asleep after 2.45 pm). At preschool, they nap 2-3.45 pm and won't cap the nap before that time, so there is no way I can regulate it. However, I don't think he has much more than 1 h as they are telling me that he usually is one of the last that falls asleep... Usually, when he is UT we have nap refusal, and this is enough to keep that nap lenght the other days. Sometimes, however, he is ut at bt (I think it is when he napped too much at preschool) and we have few callbacks (these we have almost aways) then it can happen that we have another callback after 20-30 mins, if he can't fall asleep. Remember he is still in the cot, however, so ut is less a problem...
Te other thing is that I am sure preschool tires him up much more than home. There are so many activities, so many children (class is of 26 kids aged 3-4) and much more rules than at home, so it definitely helps sleep.

However, reading the other posts, I could see that there is a big sleep lenght dropping around this age, and total sleep in 24 h becomes around 11 h in 24 h for many kids... And this is what we have: 11-11.5 h night on nn day, or 10.5 h night + 1 h nap.

[Truly Blessed]

Thanks Brennasmommy, your post made ma laugh LOL    it all sounds so familiar.  I hope those mornings get later for you eventually.

Barbara, it must be frustrating to be out of control when it comes to nursery naps, but I know that is the way it is all over the Med, so I think you're working it the best way you can for consistency.

However, reading the other posts, I could see that there is a big sleep lenght dropping around this age, and total sleep in 24 h becomes around 11 h in 24 h for many kids.

Yes! this does seem to be the case. I think it's probably more of a regression/adjustment period though (at east for us) than his actually sleep needs decreasing. Don't you 

x.

[Truly Blessed]

12 hours straight through!!!  Somehow I am back to being elated about a 6.30 WU  . Not planning on any nap today, but a 6.30 BT again. Cross your fingers for us please! What amazes me most is the lack of OT WU's. He seemed so very settled.

x.

[michaeljacknnugg]

I don't know! If you stick to set times it may be easier to work out?

We replaced the nap with a DVD on a lot of days during the nap drop. If hereally needed to nap he'd fall asleep, if not he (and I!) got some quiet time.

I know others have done similar with quiet time in lo's bedroom - we dropped the nap around two so couldn't achieve that. Lots of alternatives to consider!

If you want him to tack on sleep in the morning, be wary of bedtime too early. If he's coping well with long days it's worth a try to push for a 13hr day, giving him the option to get up later if he needs to.

Oops, posted at the same time as you! Yay for a good night!