5 Month old (4 months adjusted) - how to avoid the evening screamathon?

[Wallyoz]

DS was 5 weeks premature, so his adjusted age is closer to 4 months, but developmentally everything is fine and in correlation with a 5 month old.

DS will not stay awake longer than 1 hour for mornings and our 'routine' has sort of fallen in a big heap because he won't sleep at all in the afternoon's! Also when he is waking he isn't hungry.

Typically here is our day (his wake up time varies between 6 - 8am)

E - 7am
A - 7-8am
S - 8am


A - 9.30am * sometimes this is a 2 hour sleep)
E - 10.00am
S - 10.30am

A - 12 * sometimes 1pm
E - 1pm
S - is for the weak apparently!

E - 5pm
A - 5.30, shower etc
E - 6pm
S - 7pm - but this changes every night because it generally turns into a screamathon and it can take me upto 2 hours to get him to sleep. He is clearly overtired from not sleeping in the afternoon.

E - 10;30pm

E - 4am (sometimes he sleeps through and misses this feed, but not consistently)

I give him every opportunity to sleep when he displays tired signs, including his cot, rocker, car, pram. I've honestly tried it all. I dread our evenings because it is so difficult seeing him cry so much and fight sleep.

I hope I've given enough information to get some advice or suggestions.


Some additional info just in case-

* DS takes a dummy, but only in his cot and then spits it out to suck on his hands just before going to sleep
* DS sleeps in a Love to Swaddle Up (he still flails his arms around which keeps him awake if he's not in his suit)
* He is exclusively breastfed (no solids yet)
*We use white noise in his nursery if he is struggling to settle, which is every evening. He doesn't need it during the day.
* DS is put in his cot wide awake and happy for his sleeps and settles himself during the day (night time it's like he isn't even awake for a feed).

[Wallyoz]

Anyone? Someone? Please?

[*Ali*]

I think you need to gradually stretch those first two A times by just 10 mins every few days.  I would also limit his morning naps to 1.5hrs. Right now he is getting so much sleep in the morning and so little A time that he is just not tired in the afternoon and then he is so OT by BT that he is resisting for hours.

At 5mo we would expect LOs to be awake closer to 2hr30 and then sleep 1.5hrs. This would happen for the first two cycles of EAS and then a CN of 30-40 mins would revive them enough to get through dinner, bath and milk to BT. I think your LO is seeing those first two A times as NWs and the naps an extension to his night.

You can keep the extra A time very low key and just sit and read a book or walk around the house etc. He will be tired as he is used to sleeping at that time but if you can just push through it for a week or so you will be able to get his day sleep more evenly distributed and avoid the OT meltdown in the evenings.

What do you think?

[Wallyoz]

Thanks for replying Ali.

It makes complete sense. I've often thought that he thinks his first nap in particular in just an extension of his  night sleeps.

So, I will extend his A time by 10 minutes each time. I've tried this in the past but he just gets so restless and grizzly that he then struggles to get to sleep. It's my own fault though, because I haven't tried it for several days to give him an opportunity to adjust. So I'm going to have a real good go at extending those first two awake times for the rest of the week. I think I've been reluctant to do this at all because from about 8weeks - 14 weeks he wouldn't self settle and wouldn't sleep longer than 45 minutes!

In relation to the length of his sleep - do you have any ideas about how to shorten his sleep? Should I just open the nursery door and make a bit of  noise so he wakes 'naturally' because if I go and wake him by picking him up he gets very grumpy.

Thanks so much for replying, I really needed someone to spell it out in simple terms for me. It's given me the inspiration to have a real good go at sorting it out. I'll try anything to avoid the OT mess I have to deal with at night time!

[*Ali*]

When I have to wake my DS2 I firstly make noise outside the room and then if that doesn't work i just open the bedroom door and open the curtains. We also have blinds which I open if he is still asleep at that point. Then I speak softly to him until he wakes up and then I just pick him up and let him wake up in my arms. Thankfully we rarely get to the arms stage at this age

Let us know how it goes.

[durban]

Hi, I hope you don't mind but I have been following your posts as I also have a preemie and have been having the same afternoon screemathons!!
I am interested in the fact that you have been advised to follow sleep times for actual age (5 months) as opposed to adjusted age (closer to 4 months).  This is where I am getting confused as was told to follow sleep times according to adjusted age.  I would be interested to see how you get on with making the changes!  Good luck, know how hard those screamathons are!!  )

[Wallyoz]

 I don't mind at all!  The whole adjusted age confuses the bejeebers out of me too when it comes to awake times and don't even get me started on wonder weeks with a preemie! I think I will try to get awake times slowly to 1.5 hours. There is no way he can cope for 2 hours so working off adjusted age fits better here.

This morning I cut DS sleep to 1.5 hours and he was ok. I extended his awake time by 10 minutes so 1 hour 10 in total and it was a mini battle for him to settle for a sleep. He has been asleep for an hour now and will be waking him in another 1/2 hour and trying to extend awake time again. I really hope it pays off. Keeping him up past his tired signs makes me so nervous!

The evening meltdowns are no fun for anyone so I feel your pain! Hopefully I can work something out that might help you too. Two heads are better than one!

[Wallyoz]

I must also add that his entire wake time was very low key in comparison to what we have been doing and I will keep it this way until he gets used to the longer awake times. So instead of toys etc I extended his 'alone' time under his jungle gym because he's very content there and instead of tummy time or jolly jumper we sat and read some books and had lots of cuddles.

[*Ali*]

Actually I overlooked the fact he was 4mo adjusted Opps! Many LOs have caught up a bit but not entirely so will be somewhere in between the adjusted and actual age. Average A time for a 4mo is 1hr45-2hrs so I'd aim to reach somewhere near that soon. You should find his days improve before you get all the way there though I expect.

Wonder weeks actually go on due date even for full termers so use the adjusted age for that definitely.

[Wallyoz]

Yesterday was a success. He didn't have a cat nap so he had been awake 2 hours before bed but he settled without the usual screamathon!

I'm a bit confused though. He can quite happily go 3.5-4 hours between feeds so with the way we are going EASY turns into AEASY then ends up being AES at the end of the day. I assume once his awake times are extended properly it will fall back into EASY all day?

[*Ali*]

Yes it will fall back into an EASY pattern as his A time catch up but AEAS is not a problem. The aim of EASY is mainly just to separate the E from the S to avoid a feed to sleep prop.

[Wallyoz]

Thanks Ali. I honestly can't believe how much the little changes have made to his evening routine just in one day! Hopefully this is going to allow him every opportunity to sleep through the night consistently.  He wakes at 9.30pm for a feed every night but on the odd occassion he hasn't I've given him a DF at 1030 and he has slept through. It amazes me how it is all linked to his daytime routine - true learner here!

[*Ali*]

Sounds great. The saying "You learn something new every day" is very true for us mums isn't it?