10mo needing a new home - someone with insomnia!!

[Jaxsta81]

Hi everyone,

That moment has come where I'm so desperate I'm on here at 2.45am searching for answers!! Please help me from putting my son in a moses basket and leaving him at someone's door!!

I'll try to be concise. Leon was a fantastic sleeper (6pm-6am with DF) until mid Jan where everything seemed to go out of the window. We think he got a bit of a cold, then bad teething, then this Gollum like cough which is still lingering and then the vomiting virus last week. This has all resulted in a really erratic sleeping pattern which has brought me to the brink of despair.

His Easy looks a bit like this -

WU - 6am
E - 6.15am (7oz)
E- 8am (solids - not that interested in it)
S - 9.30am - 11.30am
E - 12.30am (solids - not that interested in it)
E - 2pm (7oz)
S - 3/3.30pm - 4.30pm
E - 5.30 (solids - not that interested in it)
Bath - 6.30pm
Bottle (7oz) and bed by 7pm

I know that last stretch is only 2.5 hrs of A time but he's fine going down as he's only had about an hour/hour half of sleep beforehand. We never really have an issue getting him to go down for bedtime.

Now the several NW occur. Most of them before 11pm are quick replugs of the dummy, maybe with a quick pickup if he's really upset. But then from 11pm - 3am he either wakes really really crying (like a nightmare!?) or what we just had for the last 20 mins, babbling and sitting up and then eventually crying. I think with the illnesses I've become a prop for him as it seems like he needs me to calm himself down. Is he crying to get me in the room as there is no fussing beforehand - just straight out WAAAA?

On the positive side he doesn't need to fall asleep on me and most of the time my prop usage is simply pick up, walk a bit, talk a bit, dummy in, head on shoulder, rock for 30 seconds, put down in crib still awake but sleepy and off he goes by himself (I've left the room).

How can we stop this from happening? I don't really want to do PUPD as I don't think I have the guts for it.

Oh -also to mention, I did feed him at 1am this morning and he took nearly a full 7oz bottle so he was hungry as he's still off his solids but it only kept him asleep for about 45 mins and then he was crying again.

Any ideas what the hell is going on!!???

[Erin M]

Paci prop maybe?  Can he replug at all?  I'm noticing that you say that he falls back to sleep with a replug each time.  Are you working on having him replug at all or doing it for him each time? 

[Jaxsta81]

Well he could replug himself before all this illness jazz happened. He does need the dummy to fall asleep though. Do ou hunk that's more the prop issue than me??

If he's in his cot and crying I'll pass him his dummy (on one of those rabbit things) and he'll push it away so that's why I pick him up, calm him and then he'll accept it. Thoughts?

[Erin M]

Hmm, I see -- you're probably right about you being more of the prop.  OK, I'm no good with pu/pd myself, so I'd do sort of a gradual withdrawal-type thing, where you intervene less and less over subsequent nights -- so try not to pick him up and just calm him in his crib with your voice and patting/rubbing his back, then just calm with your voice without touching him and then hopefully he'll stop needing you quite so much.  What do you think?

[Jaxsta81]

Glad to hear I'm not the only one rubbish with PUPD!

Sounds like a plan. I kind if did it a bit last night and for a couple of the wakings I just put him on his side and replugged and he went back off. Trouble is, past midnight be wakes nearly every sleep cycle!

I just feel so bad and guilty-I remember reading in one of Tracy's books she says it's a useless feeling as it's not helping anyone-easier said than done!

[Erin M]

I just feel so bad and guilty-I remember reading in one of Tracy's books she says it's a useless feeling as it's not helping anyone-easier said than done!

Ugh, so much easier said than done.
Keep at it for a few nights and let's see if things get better. 

[Jaxsta81]

Hi everyone,

Things have gotten a bit better, I can generally settle him with PD and a constant singing of twinkle bloody twinkle, but we seem to be having regular wakings between 12 and 3am. He seems to wake every 30/45 mins during this time until he has a bit of a meltdown and then sleeps until the morning (maybe with one more NW....urgh). Is this to do with his day? Do I need to look at his naps to sort this issue out? I'm thinking of 4 hrs A after waking, then one uncapped nap and then a 30/45 min nap in the afternoon before bed?

[Erin M]

I'd say it's probably the naps that need looking at.

If you're getting a good first nap off of the 4 hours of A time, I think that plan sounds good.

[Jaxsta81]

So....I know it's only been one day and it's impossible to know anything really yet, but I tried these naps yesterday and a couple of things.....when I woke him from his second nap after an hour, he was super clingy and sleepy and basically it felt like I was torturing him by keeping him awake till bedtime. Is that normal? Should I have put him down for that nap earlier so he wasn't so tired? It was nearly 4 hrs A-maybe do 3 hrs?

On the good side, he was a bit unsettled before 11pm, couple of wakings but easy to sort and then NOTHING till 5.30am! I know it's an EW but I'll take that over the NWs any day!!

Do you think I'm on the right track?

[Erin M]

How long was his nap before you were waking him up?  And yes, mine tend to be pretty cranky when I wake them from naps earlier -- you might try figuring out when he's been asleep for a complete sleep cycle (45 minutes or so) and wake him then and hopefully catch him in lighter sleep so he's not so cranky.  They do get used to it after a bit though and come out of it a little easier.  And you can deliberately get him to short nap by putting him down earlier. 

Yay for the good night!