What about this soother? is it a prop? should i get rid of it?

[Taniak]

I had a question in pupd earlier but after I did some digging I changed into here. My 17 month son has been sleeping through the night from 5 weeks old. (we started sleep training when he was born) He also has used a paci from that early on. we contemplated taking it away but it seemed to be his only comfort thing he wont take a blankie or a toy, and he would spit it out and night and sleep thorug the night. After teething and a cold a while back he now wakes at night a few times crying and needing his paci to be found.  also in the last 2 weeks he has started needing me or my husband to be in the room while he falls asleep. today I tried walk in walk out but neither of us could handle it. so I am going to start gradual walk out. Do i also stop paci use? do i do one first then the other? or do i do them both at the same time? he has his paci during the day he isn't very good at self soothing unless he has it. He gets so angry and emotional sometimes and i don't know what to do nothing seems to help him. I could really use some help on this one.
* update today i took away the soother all together and its not going well. he fell asleep at afternoon nap after 45 min of crying. he wants nothing to do with me touching him 45 min later he woke up screaming and now i have been in his room for over a hour trying to get him back to sleep nothing is working. did i take away his comfort item or a prop. the night waking suggests its a prop, or is it his only comfort item? should i keep going?

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, the paci could be a prop but it would be unusual to wean at this age. Could you perhaps try to give him practice during the day and plugging it back in himself?

When my DD struggles at night after illness we often put several dummies in her cot at once and if she cries for us in the night to put it back in we just put it in we hand rather than her mouth. After a few days things often go back to normal.

Some of the other behavior you are describing sounds a bit like separation anxiety. Has your LO been an independent sleeper before, if so you can do either WIwO or GW whichever you feel works best for you. It can take a while for them to get over illness but things should get better soon.

How's his schedule for naps?

[Taniak]

Thank you for repling!!! When is a good time to wean him from his smoothie? We have started to take it away during the day. We don't let him have it at all now unless going to sleep. and he seems to be leading how to self sooth a bit. He gets it at nap time and bed time and I am doing the same putting it in his hand instead of his mouth. Durringg the day he is sleeping A few hours for a nap. He just changed from his 2 naps to 1 nap. It's now 1 from 1230 to 2 ish longer if we can. When my oldest has preschool it's from 1 to 230.  He has always been a independent sleeper. Right now we are trying the gw. It's us actually leaving the room when he strts to scram and get so upset. When we come in he is fine we don't even have to touch him. As soon as he sees us he lays back down to sleep. He also wakes up at 730 am screaming and startled. Before he woke up happy and babling. He started the need for us in the room either the sick and it's just gotten more intense.

[Buttonbobs]

I haven't been through weaning my DD from her dummy yet but I read here that it's usual to wean either early (say 4 months) or when the child is old enough to understand (say 2.5-3 years). You can do a lot of preparatory work talking to them in advance about the fact that they will soon be big enough to sleep without it and then use whatever method you choose to go cold turkey without them - I.e. dummy fairy or something similar.

Maybe have a read of this link:

Toddler Paci Weaning

It does sounds like it may be a bit more concern that you are in the room when he looks to see. When you do GW, are you staying in the room in the same place for all NWs? Try the same spot for a few days and then pick a place a little further from the cot for a few days.

Do you think he could be a bit overtired (OT)? It would be usual for an LO of this age to need to nap for two hours or more for it to be restorative. Has he ever had longer naps than 1.5 hours? My DD doesn't often manage two hours but I try and keep the day noire than 12 hours long on a shorter nap, & go for a longer day if she manages a long Nap. What time is wake up and BT?

[Taniak]

 Sorry i have been so stressed i think i have left out important gaps of info, so i will do my best now.
 
Before all of this happened Our day has been wake up at 8 am breakfast 830. play until 10 have some milk. 1030 to 1130 or 12 nap. then 3 days a week preschool for big brother then me and roick run errands or go to a play gym. milk at 3 then nap at 330 to 5. bed time at 730. sometimes when he woke we would have to help him find his soothie then we could just leave. Now its wake at 8 (sometimes 730 screaming) then he was napping at 1230 t0 2 or 230 but not doing so well with it. today he just went down at 11 i will have to wake him at 12 to go to preschool. then nap when we get home at 3. he has never naped  more than 2 hours at at time.
 
when he got sick he was up so much at night one day i just slept on the floor beside his crib rather than getting up every 20 min to comfort him. this is when it all got so out of controll. now he gets so upset when we try to leave before he sleeps. even at night if he is int sleeping when we leave he gets really upset. if he wakes up he will cry until we step into the room then he is OK, but will pop up every min or so to make sure we are there until he falls back asleep. i tried wiwo one day and 2 hours of screaming that didn't work so we went to gw. We are on day 4 of gw and  today i moved to 2 large steps away from the crib back turned to him not engaging at all ( one more large step and I'm at the door).
 
 I did read the paci link that you posted and that's why i thought i should try to get rid of it because it said the longer they have it the harder it is to get rid of it and the night waking

The lack of sleep has made it harder for me to see things clearly and think about this objectivly so thank you for the help

[Buttonbobs]

Sorry I haven't been back for a few days, my DD has been poorly, not quite well yet but I feel more human and able to help you.

I realise with the middle of the day school run it may be tricky for you as you move to one nap, but it sounds to me like your LO is wanting to start the 2-1. I know he is older but the comments in the thread below are still relevant:

10/ 11mo sleep gone wonky? Read this first!

And this might be helpful too

from 2 to 1 nap - how, when and the bumps

What do you think?

[Taniak]

I agree with the 2 to 1 nap. I think I just need to relax and let it be keep going with the gw and let him have his soother for bed still. Thank you for helping me with this I really appreciate it!

[Buttonbobs]

No problem at all. I agree maybe go with the soother for a bit longer particularly while going through this difficult transitions. Do come back or start a new thread if you'd like some more help