Crying

[michaeljacknnugg]

Well done for everything you've done so far! It was hard enough to do with one child, let alone with an elder one to worry about as well - so I really admire you for persisting so far.

At the end of the day, with two to think about, maybe bottle feeding gives you more independence and ability to have time with DD1 while DH has the baby once in a while? Hopefully you can find enough positives in whatever choice you make to help reinforce that it is indeed your choice - and one you have made for your whole family.

[*Kara*]

Have you had a doc check that you are able to produce enough BM hun?  There are a small number of women who are just not able - and there are some external indicators relating to breast shape...

SO many hugs.

[twogirlsmommy]

So an update as we were at the ped's for a weight check on Thursday.  In 9 days since he last saw her she gained 9 ounces which is an ounce a day and he was extremely pleased with that.  He seemed alittle concerned that she was taking almost 3 ounces ever 3 hours but I really didn't know what to tell him.....any less and she is fussy any more and she spits so that seems to be our magic number right now.  I am pumping at every feed round the clock and I can get anywhere between an ounce to 2 ounces depending so she gets the expressed milk first and then we add whatever formula to equal as close to 3 ounces or till she's satisfied.  She is completely refusing the breast and to be honest with round the clock feeding/pumping and dd1 to look after I kind of have given up the trying.  My goal now is to be able to pump until dd2 is at least 2 months old b/c that is how long I made it with dd1 but today is  my first day alone with both girls and to be honest its extremely hard to do it all and I still haven't added in the school run or any of the activities dd1 does during the week.  Thank you again for the support

@ Kara I think I may just be one of those women who just doesn't produce and I need to come to terms with that.  I don't know what doc would check that but when I asked my gyno he did not seem to concerned about it. 

[weaver]

my first day alone with both girls and to be honest its extremely hard to do it all

I'm not in the least surprised.  It sounds almost impossible to me, I never even started pumping with LO2 as there just weren't enough hours in the day. You're done superbly well to get this far. (())

I'm sure you've been asked this before but have you seen a lactation consultant?  A good, sympathetic one?  There seems to be depressingly little knowledge/research into bfing in medicine.  I wish I had a magic wand and could send Dr Jack Newman to see you!  More hugs. 

[koe2moe]

Lots of hugs BM!  It was extremely difficult to exclusively expressing.  Just for your own well being, once the milk is established, dont pump around the clock or you will burn yourself out.  I was because no one told me that night pumping was not necessary, and i was doing it till after 3 mo, after i discovered BW!  I salute you for keeping it up!  Hugs.  Hw are you recovering?

[twogirlsmommy]

Thanks for that advice Koe but I have no idea if milk is established so I fear if I don't pump then there will be no milk for her.

[Fiver]

At the moment, your body is still producing milk based on hormones.  At around 3-4 months, milk production is no longer driven by hormones, but by supply/demand.  The body naturally produces more milk at this stage during the night simply because that is when prolactin (milk producing hormone) levels are at their peak.

You're doing so well.  Are you using a good quality double electric pump when you're pumping?  Some women find that they need a different sized flange to get a better yield of pumped milk.  The milk collection set I had had three different sized ones.

[*Kara*]

Are you using a good quality double electric pump when you're pumping?

I was wondering the same hun... are you able to rent hospital grade pumps over there?

[twogirlsmommy]

I do have a good quality pump its equal to the hospital one.

[Fiver]

Might be worth trying a different flange and/or speed/pressure.

[creations]

Hey, just stopping by to give hugs and cheers. You are doing amazingly!  Seriously I have no idea how you are managing to pump around the clock and deal with two kids.   

[twogirlsmommy]

The only way I'm surviving right now is that dh has been home since dd2 was born. He goes back to work Tuesday and its the night shift so I am concerned as to how I'm going to manage b/c at night it takes an hour between pumping feeding and resettling every 3 hours at night which means not a lot of sleep for me and dd1 doesn't even nap anymore. Starting to panic alittle to be honest.

[creations]

Yeah the only way I managed to get to 4 weeks was because DP was here and got up at every single night feed with me so we could tackle the whole thing together. I remember it taking an hour...and I didn't have another LO to care for.
I'm cheering you on, but also want to say, only do what you can do.  There is no shame in stopping if it gets too much x

[twogirlsmommy]

Thank you. I actually looked at dh tonight and asked him honestly if he would think less of me if I stopped. He looked at me like I was crazy lol. We are going to see how next week goes and go from there. My goal is to make it till are 1 month check up which is in 2 weeks.

[creations]

Oh hugs!
It's a horrible position to be in, the decision is awful, even with DH's support.