7 mo old - NW, EW, crappy napper

[frogurt814]

I wasn't really sure which board to put this on since DS has so may sleep issues. Night wakings, early wake, crappy naps.  He had been STTN off and on for awhile, or if he did wake at night, was really easy to settle. That was when he was around 4 months old. He has had illnesses off and on since then and has cut two teeth, so things have been inconsistently bad for the last three months.

Our EASY is all over the place in regards to naps. His feeding times are pretty consistent.  He eats a small bit of solids twice a day, but doesn't seem to be all that into them, yet.  I have really been working with him this week to get him to go down independently at night. It still takes me walking him around the room to get him drowsy, then shushing him in his crib with my hand on him until he is quiet and falls asleep.  We had been doing a DF around 11 pm, but with the illnesses, we hated to wake him when he was sleeping (no matter how gentle we are with DF, he always stirs and can be hard to resettle) so we just started letting him wake on his own for that feed, but I don't really know if that is the right thing to do. If we don't do the DF, he wakes on his own between 10:30-11:30 and we feed him. Then he usually sleeps until somewhere between 4-5 am, but he is terribly hard to resettle at that time.  He is not ready to be up for the day at that time because he is whiney, yawning, and clearly still tired.

I am beginning to feel like I will never get a full night of sleep again. I am so tired of going to bed at 8:30 and only getting 5 hours of sleep a night!

We still swaddle his arms, and we have him in a sleep positioner that just velcros around his waist to keep him from rolling onto his tummy since he was doing that and getting really agitated even though he has been proficient rolling both ways for quite some time now.  I have listed our EASY below, but his naps are all over the place since he goes to day care during the day.  He generally only takes 30-40 minute naps so we are still doing 3 naps a day.

E: 6 am
A: 7:30 am solids
S:8:30/9:00 usually only for a half hour...will sometimes take a longer nap at home
E: 10 am
A: 11:30 am solids
S: somewhere between 12/1 usually for a half hour
E: 2 pm
A
S: usually between 4/5 can be for a half hour or an hour or more
E: 6 pm
A: bath, lotion jammies
S: asleep for night between 6:30/7 pm
DF: between 10:30/11:30 pm

I have no idea where to even begin. Should we try to cut out the DF? Should we wake him for the DF or let him wake on his own? Should we get rid of the swaddle and the sleep positioner and just put him in a sleep sack?  Should I let him sleep so long at that 3rd nap of the day when he has had only an hour total of sleep during the day before that 3rd nap?

[becj86]

If he is napping a long time in the PM just before bed, he could be shifting his day to 4-4, so up for the day at 4 because he starts that long nap at 4pm. Does that make sense?

DF should be between 3 and 4hr from when he goes to sleep - so its probably a little late and could be disrupting his sleep. Maybe try dropping it or doing it a little earlier.

What is daycare's position re: sleep? Do they do naps in a different room so kids can sleep when they need to or do set naps? What is different between daycare nap/home nap - props?  I found DS slept a little (and I mean still dismally but a little better) at daycare if the carer gave him some tight hugs and a quiet time reading a book or something before putting him down for a nap so he was not so overstimulated.

Have you worked on withdrawing your assistance for him falling asleep? After about 6 months, babies tend to need to be able to tell that they're in the same place they fell asleep if they wake to enable them to self-settle, so if you were there patting him when he fell asleep, he wonders why you're not there when he wakes.

[frogurt814]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, it makes sense about the late nap. I just wasn't sure what to do at that time. Since he has usually had such little day time sleep, I feel bad waking him after a half hour. Yesterday his last nap was from about 2:45 to 3:20. He didn't go down for another nap after that, and was in bed at 6:30, then he woke at 1:30, 4:30, and 5:30.

All of the kids are in the same room the whole day at day care. They have cribs in half of the room and keep the lights off in that half, but it is still light in the other half and the other babies are going about their day. I don't think they start with set naps at day care until they are around a year old and move to the next room.  I am not sure what kind of props they use/don't use at day care to get him to sleep. Nothing is allowed in their cribs at day care so he is not swaddled or anything there. He will sometimes do one decent (for him) nap at day care around an hour or so, so I know he is capable of sleeping un-swaddled.

Last night when I put him down for the night, I shushed him in his crib until he was calm, then I stopped shushing and took my hand off of him. He fell asleep on his own so I thought we were in for a good night, but as I said above, it was actually a worse night than the few previous nights.

If we skip the dream feed, he wakes on his own around 11:30. Since at that point, it has been 5.5 hours since his last bottle, we feed him to ensure he is not hungry. He still takes a full 6 oz at that feeding (whether we DF at 10:30 or let him wake on his own for it) and then will take a full 8 oz at his 6 a.m. bottle, so I think he is genuinely hungry at that time.

[becj86]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like you shouldn't feed him at night, I was more thinking should you feed him a second time between that DF and wakeup for the day.

I can understand why he doesn't sleep... he could well take a while to get used to that sleeping environment. What were his naps like at home before he started daycare?

Given you know his naps are likely to be short, I'd shoot for something like this:
6 - wake
9 - nap
9:30 - wake (presumably)
12 - nap
12:30 - wake (presumably)
3 - nap
3:30 - wake (presumably)
6 - asleep in bed for the night

[frogurt814]

He has been going to day care since he was 8 weeks old. His naps at home prior to day care were usually pretty short as well.  He is definitely use to the environment at day care. Sometimes he will take long naps there but most of the time not.

I like the looks of the naps you suggested.  We actually met with a baby sleep consultant yesterday, and she suggested that on days when DS has less than 2-3 hours of day time sleep, we need to put him to bed at 5:30/6. She said she thinks he is chronically over tired, which I definitely agree with.  She also advised us to skip the dream feed and to not feed him if he wakes before midnight and only to feed him if he wakes after midnight. Last night he woke around 1:45, we fed him, then he slept until 6:15. I couldn't believe it. I was totally shocked when my alarm woke me up this morning.

I think we will definitely stick with a very early BT on days when he has had little sleep, and continue to skip the DF only feeding if he wakes after midnight.

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I appreciate it.

[becj86]

Yep, I'd agree he's chronically OT - I tend to avoid saying that straight off as it scares most people

Fingers crossed this plan works out for you!