Rough nights with a 4wk old

[NoonieP]

Need some suggestions as to what might be happening. My LO sleeps well during the day but around 10pm, he starts to fuss, grunt, kicks and groan. I will offer the breast and he'll feed for a few moments and pass right out. He sleeps wonderfully in our arms and in our bed (I hate that he sleeps with us, I'm terrified he will get hurt but I sleep curled around him, well I doze curled around him) and he will sleep on his tummy but as soon as he's in his bassinet next to me, he's fussy. (When in our bed, he sleeps for 4+ hours but only for 2-3 when in bassinet during day)

We try to burp him, I've tried gripe water but he still fusses for hours. Kicking, grunting, moaning etc. I've noticed that when he's snacked several times, he burps up some milk. We try to burp him after each feed, but he doesn't always burp.He will relax when he's finally farted or pooped but that's not until several hours later.

I've read this is normal for newborns but I'm starting work in two weeks and it makes me cry when I think of trying to work on such little sleep. Any suggestions as to what we might try or might be missing?

[michaeljacknnugg]

DS used to do something similar in the wee hours, we called it 'fighting pirates' for a reason which escapes me five years on!

Is offering the breast helping or just encouraging him to snack? Foremilk can increase gas I think.

We ended up leaving DS to it as he was asleep and just moving around a lot. He grew out of it!

[NoonieP]

He seems to just snack. Nibble nibble and sleep. 

[Erin M]

Is he positioned any differently when he's in your bed?  I can remember 2 out of my 3 being extremely noisy in the nights, it amazed me that they could make that much noise when they were that small.  I can remember ds making noises that we thought sounded like a goat in his sleep.  Ugh, I'm sorry you have to go back to work so soon.  He will grow out of it and it will get better, I wish I could give you a definite time table but I can't. 

[Fiver]

When they're little they just want to be as close as they can be, which would certainly explain the difference between being on/close to you and being in the bassinet.

As for the positioning, I always found with both of mine that they were more comfortable on their sides, but that's something you'd need to consider only with advice and based on local recommendations.

[NoonieP]

Thanks for the replies, they really helped me calm down and look at it differently. I discovered what the problem is and it's something I'd never heard of before. I prove too much milk for my little one. He's getting too much foreign and not enough hind milk. This is causing a lactose problem in his tummy and make him uncomfortable, gassy, hungry more often and uncomfortable sleeping on his back. We put him in a baby swing two nights ago and he slept well, three hour stretches that were quiet and no fussing.

When I read about this fore milk, hind milk issue, I followed the guidelines. I feed him mainly on one breast before bed and at midnight. Perfect sleeping! At the 3am feed, I had to switch to the other breast and I could tell from the way he was drinking and how painful/forceful my letdown was, that he wasn't going to get much hind milk. Sure enough, all the problems came right back. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to fix it. Many articles suggested expressing a little before he feeds but who can make their baby wait when he's hungry? I'm going to try to put him on a 3hr schedule, that he seems to be on anyway, and wake a little earlier and pump a little. (I hate to waste any breastmilk)

I will start this tonight and let you know how it's working.  Also,I wasn't able to search these forums for a Baby Whisperer link, all my n for came from other websites but if you'd like me to post the links, I'd be happy to do so.

[Fiver]

Glad you've sussed out your problem. 

We do have a link in the FAQ's - Frequently Asked Questions & Related Information - Breast section about Forceful Let-Down Problems there just isn't the facility right now to search from within the BW site, but you can use a search engine (like google, for example) to search for "babywhispererforums + [what you want to search for]" to find a thread on the site.

[NoonieP]

Thanks! I forgot how helpful everyone is on this site. I've always mentioned this site to new mommies I meet but it's been so long since I needed help.

Thank you again.

[lily_layne]

I had forceful letdown and too much milk for the first few months of DDs life and it did cause problems for her.  Single side feeding really helped.  I was advised to feed her as often as she wanted, but to put her on the same side she was on before if she was feeding for the second time in a 3 hour span (ex: fed from L at 11, so if she was hungry at 1 I fed her from the L again).  Before I went to this, I was working really hard to get DD to wait at least 3 hours between feeds (pure torture for both of us) but getting too much foremilk just made her so uncomfortable.  Feeding from the same side for a few feeds totally solved that problem.  At night, I just expressed for a minute or 2 to get past the first letdown (you could express into a bottle if you want to save it - I didn't because it was all foremilk) - DH usually comforted DD or changed her diaper while she waited for me.  Eventually, my supply settled down and we went back to using both sides at each feed.

Be careful about pumping because it can actually increase your supply because it cues your body to make more milk.  A few minutes of expressing probably won't do that.  It can get really uncomfortable feeding only from one side (hello, major engorgement! - I soaked more than a few shirts and I looked absolutely ridiculous being so lopsided ) but try not to pump.  Express a bit if you're really uncomfortable or get in a hot shower or bath and let it flow.

The swing also worked well for DD although we didn't discover that little trick until she was almost 2 months old!  In her bassinet, she did best on her tummy or her side - she just couldn't settle on her back.  I talked to my doctor and got the go ahead for tummy sleeping and he said that many babies prefer the tummy or side. 

[NoonieP]

It's nice to hear others stories, thanks. I realized that saving it was pointless after I posted.   I have to start pumping while at work, I go back April 1, any tips for pumping thru this?

[Fiver]

Based on you only having another week before you return to work and are going to need to be pumping then, an oversupply for a little while might not be such a bad thing for you in some ways.

You could try out some of the other tips in the Forceful letdown FAQ I posted above and see if any of them help you?

[Erin M]

If you're only feeding off of one side, I'd pump off of the other one.  Regarding block feeding (when you feed off of the same breast for more than one feed in a row) -- I'd hold off (if you can) for a few more weeks as you're still establishing supply and don't really want to be down regulating it at this point.  If you need to, only as the PP said, in short blocks (like 2 feeds in a row).  With my dd2, she would often unlatch herself when that first huge burst of milk came -- you might have some success with letting him latch until let down and then unlatching for just a tiny bit while the milk comes rushing out and then latching him back.  He might not be particularly happy with that, but it might help him and it's only going to be for a minute or so. 

[lily_layne]

I also found that reclining while nursing helped DD cope with the flow - it had the added bonus of being more comfortable for me   I've heard that side-lying is also helpful because usually the extra milk just dribbles out.