Author Topic: I just want to shower!!!  (Read 950 times)

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Offline lily_layne

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I just want to shower!!!
« on: March 20, 2013, 23:48:37 pm »
From about 2 months, DD (almost 7 months now) has sat in her bouncy chair while I showered.  Up until last week, she was very happy with this arrangement.  Now, she's happy until I step into the shower at which point she pulls out her loudest scream.  She continues screaming even if I leave the curtain open so she can see me.  She stops right when I step out of the shower.  I thought it might be SA but now I don't think so because I left the bathroom for a minute this morning and she was fine - she's only mad when I'm in the shower.  Could it be frustration that she doesn't get to be in the water?  How should I handle this?  Open the curtain and verbally reassure her? Shower while she naps until she gets past this? Sit her up in her tub in the shower with me? ???
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline scruffymax

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2013, 23:54:18 pm »
Hmm, not sure, I have always showered at night when DD is asleep!  Could you try giving her a toy or something to play with while you're in the shower?  Hopefully someone else has BTDT and has some advice for you.



Offline Shiv52

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2013, 23:57:06 pm »
I was going to say give her some toys. At that age I used to just sing and talk to my DD as I showered and tht kept her amused. Some days she was happier than others but for the sake of 10 minutes I just got on with it and she was generally really good.  A snack also worked but your DD is maybe a little bit little for that yet! 





Offline creations

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2013, 08:19:43 am »
I had the same problem.  DS went from happily laying on a play mat kicking around with toys (in the bathroom) to screaming blue murder every time I showered.  It was very upsetting for us both.
If it's possible to shower during a nap I'd do that to just avoid the problem, unless you are going through sleep problems because during times of routine change or OT I found I really had to be available during naps (and early night sleep) so it was the worst time to shower.
I actually ended up putting DS in a travel cot (like play pen) in the living room with a kids TV programme on and a few toys in with him to keep him occupied.  I listened out for him but basically he happily watched the programme and played with toys and I knew he couldn't climb out or reach anything dangerous.  It was a long time before I had him in the bathroom with me showering again because he found it so upsetting.  I always told him where I was going and that I'd be back and he was fine with it. Now he is much bigger he's ok with it but mostly I leave him to play whilst I shower and listen out for him.


Offline lily_layne

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2013, 16:07:41 pm »
Thanks for the suggestions.  She used to happily play with the toys on the bouncy chair (she loved to kick them) but maybe she's tired of them.  I'll try giving her some different toys to see if that helps.  Last night when I was washing her in the bathroom I turned on the shower to warm the room up and she started to cry - I have no idea if it's the sound that bothers her or if she was just getting a jump on it in case I got in the shower :)
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline momtonb&ab

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2013, 16:20:25 pm »
i know not everyone loves this answer, but if you keep talking to her (she doesn't need to see you as long as she can hear you) it is ok for her to cry while you are in the shower.  you are  not leaving her to cry, you are right there reassuring her and you have to shower.  there is a balance...

i hope you don't think i am being mean, i am so totally not. but if LO knows you are there and can hear you, it is OK, PERFECTLY OK, to have a shower........

Offline lily_layne

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2013, 17:28:50 pm »
you are  not leaving her to cry, you are right there reassuring her and you have to shower.  there is a balance...
Thanks for this - I needed a reminder that a little bit of crying with my reassurance is ok and that it's perfectly ok to take a shower even if it upsets her a bit.  A toy to play with with and some talking are on the agenda for tomorrow's shower!
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014

Offline momtonb&ab

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2013, 17:57:28 pm »
so glad you understood i was coming from a place of pure kindness.   i love my LOs and didn't leave them to cry ever, but this is not doing that and a happy mommy makes for a happier baby.  i would suggest that she is starting to learn that she likes to be with you and when you are in that noisy shower she doesn't have your attention and she is unhappy about it.  :)   but clean refreshed mommy is good!!!!!  and totally ok!

Offline creations

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2013, 23:01:46 pm »
but if you keep talking to her (she doesn't need to see you as long as she can hear you) it is ok for her to cry while you are in the shower.  you are  not leaving her to cry, you are right there reassuring her and you have to shower.  there is a balance...
I agree.
I couldn't cope with DS's screaming so for me there was no balance or happy refreshed mummy coming from constant verbal reassurance with him screaming in the bathroom whilst I showered.  I'm sure he would have eventually stopped screaming if I'd done it enough times but by then I might have hung myself from the shower hose!

Happy showering :)


Offline scruffymax

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2013, 00:22:33 am »
I guess it's no different really to crying in the car when you just have to go somewhere and can't do anything to calm them.  You can verbally reasssure them, try to give them toys etc but at the end of the day you just have to keep driving and odds are they are fine and happy as soon as you stop and get them out so they most definitely haven't been scarred for life!



Offline ~inbalance~

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2013, 00:28:18 am »
Will she play in her crib with some toys?  I used to do the same until DD outgrew her bouncy chair.  Then I would put her on a mat outside the bathroom and she liked this especially once she could sit and play with toys.  However once she became mobile she was getting into everything so now I put her in her crib with some toys which seems to work.  She also has one of those aquarium things with the lights and music which she likes. 

I also found timing to be a factor in whether or not she would sit quietly while I showered.  If I did it right after she woke from her nap when she was still happy it was fine.  But if I waited a bit and she got tired and grumpy, then she'd start crying right away as soon as I got into the shower.
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Offline lily_layne

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Re: I just want to shower!!!
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2013, 01:50:05 am »
Will she play in her crib with some toys? 
That's a great suggestion.  If giving her some toys in her bouncy chair doesn't work, I'll definitely try to the crib. 


I also found timing to be a factor in whether or not she would sit quietly while I showered.  If I did it right after she woke from her nap when she was still happy it was fine.  But if I waited a bit and she got tired and grumpy, then she'd start crying right away as soon as I got into the shower.
This is a good point also.  It has been closer to the end of her A time which could very well be part of the problem.
DD - August 2012
DS - November 2014