There is a GS at 4m so it could be it, but I read your hold thread that Katherine moved here and I doubt that's actually the reason. I mean, you have had issues for quite a while, no?
stretching this or that doesn't help at all, and goes very difficult. there are naps that go 2hr and the A-times of 2hr, but it doesn't happen much or become constant. the next day it's again 45min naps and hardly 1hr A-time. she's an angry/tensed/stuborn/impatient baby, especially the last two weeks
This was so us, really. I can't tell you how my heart goes out to you. DS was really really difficult in the first few months, I had PPD which made things worse for all of us and I thought this will be my life forever.
It was only when I made a plan of increasing the A to an age appropriate one that things got significantly better. He was a different better which made me into a different mom. I couldn't believe that such a simple plan and just following it will help so so much.
So of course, you are the one to decide what is best for your LO, I am just telling you that I was in your shoes and that it CAN get better. But it's for you to do the work. Think of it as you are the one who is deciding when it's time to sleep, because she is not old enough to know yet.
So, is your A time an hour long now? If it is, or if it's longer than that I would just stick to that for 3 days. No matter what you see her doing you are going to stick to that A time. After 3 days you are going to up it by 10min to 1:10 and stick to that. I can't emphasize enough the "sticking to it". If you are going to move away from the A time you'll be more confused (and she will as well) and you won't give her enough time to get used to the new A time. For those few days you are going to ignore sleepy cues as much as you can. Sure, if you think by the end of the day she is very OT then you can AP a nap if you want to, but for me - I had to be very very strict with myself in order to help him.
After 3 days you'd up the A time to 1:20 and stick with that. We are going to get her to 1.5h at least. If naps will still be short then we are going to keep on increasing her A time till we get it right, and because you are going to do it gradually, upping by just 10min at a time then you are not going to create massive OT. You can expect some OT naps but that's a part of increasing A time, just prepare yourself for that and keep on going - you are doing it for her and for you, so you can get some more rest.
You can have a look here:
chronological EASY samples, 4-6 months that babies her age are doing around 2h A time, she is very far from that, but that would be the healthy awake time for her that will make her tired enough to sleep better.
I read something that another fellow mod wrote on a thread with the same issue, I couldn't say it better:
When you are upping A times the babies HATE it!! This is a situation where i say 'Mummy knows best!' I swear- my guy would STILL love to be up for 1.5 hours then sleeping for 40 mintues all day i reckon!! Once they are used to the A time push- this only takes a day or 2- they are much happier and sleeping better. Also- at this age they can seem tired and grumpy- when they actually need a change in scenery. My guy was a big fan of the 'oh- this is boring with boring old mummy- better go to sleep!'
And one more thing. My mother was great when DS was born. We lived abroad and she came to stay with us for a month and it was a great help. But my ILS... don't get me starting. Till this day they make me feel (if I am not careful) that THEY did it much better. Their 3 kids had no sleep problems, ate only healthy food, watched no television, angels. I will never forgive my them for coming for a visit 1.5 weeks after DS was born and stressing me so much about how hungry it is and how I am so stressed that my milk was no good (well, it's them who made me stressed) that I had to stop BF.
I had a lot of pressure from people around me. I was alone and the people who were actually supportive were half way around the world. BF, sleeping, what to do with him when he is awake, his constant crying - everyone knew better!
But you see, they didn't. It was my insecurity as a mother that let them influence my decisions and the way I did things, but deep down inside I knew what I should be doing, *I* knew what is best for him and for us. And only when I started ignoring the B$ things got better. It wasn't easy, but I found saying "yes, yes" to what everyone else said was good - there was no discussion or an argument and they thought I took on their advice and were happy. And when I started believing in myself things got better. There is no parenthood which is easy and I think there are many things that our parents generation forget about being newish parents. Like my ILS for example. I told you that their kids were angels, right? Slept and ate well?
Well, sometimes something will slip into a conversation that will make me realize that things were not great at all, and that on so many levels I am a more informed mother, and with the help of this forum able to make choices about my child that are far better than they did.
In reality, they had a son, my DH, who BF on demand FOREVER, he was still BF when he was like 2y old and refused any solid food. And because he had a bad start with solid food and refused solids as a toddler and later on as well. He ate a bit, but it was such a fight.
And their kids didn't sleep. They can't remember it in general, but just last Sunday they were mentioning that they had to drive DH when he was a toddler in the car so he will fall asleep and the car had to stay driving or he'd wake. They forget these things when generally looking back at them being new parents. It doesn't make them bad people and I am sure that like the people around you they are full of good intentions, but it doesn't make them right and it doesn't make them better parents than you are now.
People forget and people always think they know better. Say thank you but in your heart say no, thank you.
Keep your head high, you are a wonderful wonderful mommy, even in times your LO cried what seems to be forever. These are the struggles of the first months with babies who are a bit more difficult than their angle fellows.
Many hugs, hun.
