How do I stop him waking and crying to be rocked/in bed!

[Kato2]

I posted a week or so ago about my 7month old becoming difficult at night as assumed was result of a virus he had had. Well virus is gone and he is becomin so bad at night. Goes down fine but wakes (I now believe out of habit) and just wants me (cried for husband). He cries and cries until I hold him or rock him to the point I think he's going to be sick! He self settles at bed time and his daytime routine is good!!! He has become a bit obsessive about playing with my hair when I rock him. We have used PU/pd in past but he has reflux (managed with meds) and I recently read it doesn't work with reflux babies!! Help please!!!!!!

Routine:


6am wake and bf
7am breakfast
9am nap until 10.30 then bf
11.30 lunch
1.30 nap until 3 then bf
6 bath, bf, bed
2 bf

[nevinsmama]

Hi there, sorry things are so rough. I know it can be rough getting back on track after they have been sick. Luckily, you have already done PUPD so this shouldn't be too much trouble to bring nights back around. Have you checked out the age adaptations of PUPD?
How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)
I believe, and I am sure someone more knowledgeable about reflux will correct me if I am wrong, but with refluxers I believe you try to do as much settling in the crib as possible. Only picking up if they are really getting worked up. So mostly sitting there, patting or rubbing their backs if that helps , but mostly sitting there using sleepy phrase as needed. I am guessing when he is crying so hard you are still in the room with him right?

[Kato2]

Yes I go to him as soon as he Wimpers and never leave his side. I can't stand to hear him cry but I know he needs to learn to sleep better. It's not that he can't self settle as he can- he just has got in a habit of wanting to be with me in the night and I'm so soft I have allowed it

[nevinsmama]

OK, have you taken the Know Your Baby Quiz? The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
Do you know his mantra cry? I  would listen carefully when you hear him to see if he is trying to settle and then go to him when it is that "I need you now!!" cry. Did you have a look at the PUPD info?

[ZacsMumme]

Just also wanting to check in that he isn't in discomfort - any teething? Is reflux managed well with meds? Etc x

[Kato2]

Hi guys thanks for your replies. His reflux is managed and no teething signs.

We had a breakthrough last week. I put him down very awake and sat with him until he fell asleep! Very hard night and I had 2 hours sleep in total. He now does not cry to be out of the cot which is great but he still wakes at 10pm, 2am (I BF him) and 4am. How can I stop the NW? He has started going back to sleep when I place my hand on his tummy/back.

Also he still has 4 daytime milk feeds and a night time one but is on 3 huge meals per day! Should I be trying to wean the night feed?

[nevinsmama]

Hi, sorry for the rough night! Hugs!!

Well, if it were me I would set a time limit such as don't feed before 5 hours, or 6 or 7 and keep at it until he falls asleep, even if it goes past your time minimum. THen, even if he has only been asleep 10 minutes, feed him. That is how we have worked towards pushing our NF out.( Afraid we haven't eliminated our NF yet, at 11 months!!!)

Does he have a lovey? That has done wonders for us.

I would work towards the settling being less intervention from you, maybe putting your hand on him less and less, then moving further and further away from his bed and try to use your calm voice with a sleepy phrase most of all.

Are YOU holding up OK? I know long nights with lots of crying can really take it out of you. When I went through PUPD with my DD I found the long sessions to be draining especially if it was the endless grizzling and then hard crying. I would put an earbud of an ipod in one ear for a while to kind of keep me "above the chaos". I could still hear her to see if she needed a hand or to be spoken to but it helped me not feel "stuck" or desperate if we had been at it a couple hours!!

Hope this helps, let us know if you have more questions!

[nevinsmama]

Well, if it were me I would set a time limit such as don't feed before 5 hours, or 6 or 7 and keep at it until he falls asleep, even if it goes past your time minimum. THen, even if he has only been asleep 10 minutes, feed him.

Feed him on next waking I should say, obviously you wouldn't wake him or try to do a DF of sorts!!

[Kato2]

Thank you again for your reply. I only feed him at the 2am wake up however yesterday he had 3 very large meals and 30oz of milk so he shouldn't technically need the NF. When he woke at 2am I only gave him 3oz and he slept until his 4am wake (resettled very easily). I'm going to try as reduce this week until its gone.

However there's no reason for the 10pm and 4am waking so how can I get him to stop these? He's not hungry as does not ask for a feed

[ZacsMumme]

Have you tried resettling at the WU? Sometimes they just need to learn how to get back to sleep when they stir. Shh/pat is good for this, some people use a paci etc.

As NM says a lovey is great to introduce, you can encourage him to settle with this at NW too.

If you want to post EAS we can check out your routine as well. X

[Erin M]

Ladies, please continue supporting Kato2 here on her GS thread: So I think we'e making progress with 7 month old but...