guidelines for set naps

[Aishi]

ive been doing set nap and bt for 14mo dd for over a month now with mixed results. i was just wondeeing what the 'rules' are and how you know when to change them....

currently this is our easy

wu 7.15/7.45 i let her wake naturally
nap 12.30 (usually 2-4hrs)
bt 7.30/8 depends on nap length

over the last few days shes only napping for 1.5h. she seems happy on waking unless i leave her alone too long and is def ready for bt after 4.5h only but im pushing through to set time so i was wondering if i need to change anything not sure how to though since im not using a times anymore...

whats the theory with set nap and bt? do you stick to them regardless of nap length or night sleep? anyone else going through similar sleep patterns?

fyi i give teething meds before nap...

tia!!

[amayzie]

We've always done a set nap and BT since about 11 months or so- always a set bed time. I would say from my point of view the only 'rule' is to make sure you have the right 'set' time. I'm wondering if you could try for an earlier nap time? My reasoning is this: Firstly- my little guy is 22 months and still on only a set nap time of about 11.30 or 12... but- also that i onder if this long first A time might be leading to him being OT and having a 1.5 hour nap (weird how that change after 1) and then being tired for bed time after the combination of a long first A tiring him out and then the short nap. Could you try a 12 noon nap and see hat happens? My guy is also a late riser but we still do an 1130/12.00 nap with no problems.

[anna*]

What Katy said. I'd try nap at 12 for a week or so. My little one is nearly 18 months and she can barely make it past 12 from a 7.15 wake up.

[Aishi]

thanks Katy, anna for your input. the reason i was going for 12.30 set nap was based on earlier advice for first going to one nap of 5h a time before nap and 5.5h after but as wu has gotten earlier the set nap seems to be stuck at longer a time. i was trying to be consistent by sticking to the set time iykwim?

i tried 12.15 today cos i needed to get lunch in before nap in case she does her usual 3 hr nap and had to resettle twice...accumulated ot? but shes still asleep at 2.15...so should i stick with 12.15 or go for 12?

katy you said that you stick with set time even with later wus so if she woke at 8 would you still do 12 nap even though its only 4hr a time? doesnt that lead to ew again cos nap is so close to wu? also how do you fit breakfast and lunch in under 4hrs? especially since my dd doesnt want breakfast first thing....

sorry for all the questions...having a hard time getting this right...

thabks for the sticky on set naps anna. its really useful! xx

[Aishi]

she had several nws last night- pretty sure we're in OT territory cos of rubbish naps. when i was first setting nap i noticed that at 4.45h a time dd would do a 3h+ nap (anything less i think is ot) so can i wake her in morning at same time and do a set nap/ set a time without leading to ot or having to keep chasing a times??! so something like

wu 7.15
set a 4h45
set nap 12
set bt 7.30/8

has anyone approached one nap like this? my thinking being that having set a and nap at the same time after a few weeks i can eventually stop waking in the morning and by that time she'll be used to set nap at 12 and a time wont matter.

does this make sense to anyone besides me? lol

forgot to add today wu was 6.50 (ewu for dd) and i let her nap at 11.30 (so 4h40 a). i resettled at 1.30 and then woke her at 3.30!!! will aim for 8pm bt. wdyt ladies?

[jessmum46]

My feeling with that is that you're controlling too much of her sleep Aishi......I'd let her wake herself naturally in the morning and cap her nap if needed rather than her night sleep.  Night sleep is more restorative so you want to encourage that to lengthen rather than her nap. 

For comparison we do:

WU whenever, usually 6.15-7ish
Only ever wake her in morning if gets to 8am on non-nursery days or 7am on nursery days
Nap 11.45 - usually only an hour or so at nursery, 2-3 at home
Only wake if hits 3h
BT 6.30 give or take 15 mins or so

I don't think A times at all any more, just stick with these times.  If she sleeps in really late I perhaps move nap 30 mins later, but that's it and BT would still be the same.  If she naps 3h she will still go to bed by 18.45 and that can often be less than 4h A time. 

HTH x

[Aishi]

thanks katherine that does help! i think thats where im going wrong-short nights cos i push bt out after a long nap leading to short night and her needing longer nap. i hadnt realised that until u mentioned it!

so i let dd sleep by normal bt of 7.30 and she went to sleep straightaway so obviously needed it. fxd for a decent wu now! sometimes i cant see the wood for the trees!!  thanks hon x

[jessmum46]

No probs!  Hope it goes ok

[Aishi]

last night went really well. i heard her chatter at 6.15 and 6.40 but she dozed off till 7.25. wdyt the chattering was about?

should i stick to set nap of 12 and bt 7.30? and let me get this right- i stick to these times regardless o wu and a times before and after nap give or take 15-30 min for nap or bt? do the rules change so much on one nap that a times dont cause ut nws or ew cos you look at overall a time during the day?

thanks!

[jessmum46]

I never know about the chattering - we get it fairly often but I kind of figure if they go back to sleep it doesn't matter!

Yes I would stick to the set times whatever, +/- 15 mins or so.  The idea is that you set their clock to expect sleep at those times, and they have two opportunities to regulate ie nap length and morning WU time.  I know it's so hard to stop thinking A times but I really have found by sticking to the times (with the odd exception e.g. When she had a 25 min nap at nursery and that was it for the day!) that things have improved for us hugely. 

For example, J had EBT of 6.15pm after short nursery nap, and didn't wake until 7.45am today.  She's gone down really easily for nap at 12 (normal is 11.45) which is a tiny A time if you think about it.  But I expect her to do a short nap on that (though sometimes she surprises me) and she will have her normal BT of 6.30pm - which although the A time may be long after a short nap, the whole day isn't long (11h tops) so we rarely get OT wakings.

Sounds complicated but isn't!

[Aishi]

thanks katherine that makes a lot of sense the way youve explained it. i think i was struggling with the oncept of set times cos didnt know how a times fit in iykwim?

fwiw she napped from 12-3 with resettle at 1.20 so hopefully that was her sr. will aim for 7.30 bt.

thanks again for explaining the theory!

off topic slightly and i know u havent btdt but dyt set bt theory is still applicable when dropping the nap? im having the devils own time figuring out ds's bt on nnds. so if i stick to a set bt regardless of wu and day length dyt he'll adjust and do longer nights eventually.? feel free to say if u have no idea!!

thanks again xx

[jessmum46]

Sorry honey for slow reply.  Yes have seen set BT advised when nap dropping, especially if you are pretty much rid of the nap, but through the transition I don't know........I imagine the ladies on the support thread would have better advice?

[anna*]

I think through the transition you'd have to play it by ear a bit - or have one set up for no nap days and another time for nap days. Hard to be consistent with bedtimes if you're not being consistent with nap vs no nap, kwim?

[Aishi]

thanks ladies! that makes sense anna bout consistency with bts- guess ill have to ride it out till we can drop the nap completely :/

thanks again xx

[Aishi]

so much for the best laid plans! dd has a fever- reaction to the 13mi vaccine fron 8 days ago...

so all bets are off? sleep and nap when she wants and for as long as she wants? start again with set nap and bt when shes well?