please help!

[fliss86]

Hello,
I have never posted on a site before but i am desperate. My 23month old son is having real problems with food and I just don't know where to turn anymore.

He basically has a problem with touching or looking at any food that isn't dry/crunchy, and will have a meltdown if a spoon comes near him with anything mushy on it. He used to eat steak, chicken and sausage and now refuses them all, and used to eat lumps of cheese but now won't. His diet seems to be getting more restricted by the day, not less, even though we have tried lots of things, like cooking with him and eating with him.

Even 'naughty' treat food like pizza, he will only eat the crunchy bit around the edge and won't go near any of the topping. He used to.

I am not concerned about quantity of food so much as the quality of the nutrients he will take. It seems to be more about finding foods horrible to look at/feel than actually not liking the flavours. There are set meals he will mostly eat, but I long for the day he will sit with the family and eat what we are eating. He won't even go near pasta!

Please help, if you can...
Thank you xx

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW

I think it's pretty common for LOs to become a bit more fussy even when they ate a wide range earlier on, the important thing is to keep offering and try not to get too stressed or make a big deal of it so that it doesn't become a bigger issue.

One idea, have you tried offering him a fork to use?  If he doesn't like to touch softer foods with his fingers using a fork could by-pass the problem.  Just being offered a new tool and new skill to learn could catch his interest.  My DS hates having messy hands, he eats about 50% of his meals with a fork but does still use fingers too, and when he uses his fingers he asks for his hands to be washed about 20 times in one meal.

Another idea - if it's a more recent problem, is your LO teething?  Sometimes crunchy hard foods can help ease the gum pain, like a teether, so he could be looking for pain relief??
Will he eat off your plate rather than his own?

[fliss86]

Thanks for replying! He has a knife and fork at every meal, which used to work, but now seems to even have an aversion to textures when they're on the fork and will shout, 'off off!'

He won't eat from my plate either, he hasn't responded to being sat at a table with us and us more or less leaving him to it, ie trying to give him the control, it has just made him cut out things more seemingly.

I think he may be teething, he was a very late teether so still only has 12 teeth, ehich didn't hrlo him as he was so aware of pain by the time he started getting teeth aged one. Poor little man is so good and articulate and magic, but it's like a different child comes to the dinner table!

[creations]

If it's a more recent thing and you think he's teething then I imagine it will pass as a phase, just keep offering.

Couple more ideas which you might already have tried...
Will he dip into anything?  So dry crunchy toast but with a dip of jam/puree veg/humous even mayo or ketchup?  This way he gets to hold the dry part and only do a little dip of the wet?
Try a serving dish with the food on and only give a very small portion onto his eating plate.  Lots of foods on the plate at once (or larger quantities) can be off putting.
Have you tried making 'dry' pancakes, fritters, burgers or muffins?  These can all contain fruit and veg and although it doesn't expand his textures and willingness to eat wet foods it would at least balance out his diet in the shorter term whilst he worked his way out of the phase.
Will he eat things like raw sweet pepper sticks, carrot or celery sticks?  They are quite dry and crunchy.
Home made oven baked chips but made with turnip/swede/carrot/parsnip/sweet potato.  I think all kids like chips don't they?

Will have a think about any more ideas, I'm sure you'll get a few more responses with ideas coming too.

[zeri]

hi,
 how long has this been happening? The fact that

It seems to be more about finding foods horrible to look at/feel than actually not liking the flavours.

sets off a little bell in my head. Does he have any other unusual aversions - to bright lights/loud sounds/tags in clothing/cuddling etc?

[Lemonthyme]

I agree that the risk is that if you stop offering he becomes more fussy.  Will he try softer textures if they're breaded so they 'seem' hard?  This could be a way of getting all kinds of things into him without him really noticing ;-)

So for example, breaded nuggets: http://mamacook.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/chicken-nuggets-for-babies-and-toddlers.html

Or I'm going to have to have a go at some kind of breaded vegetable nugget at some point.  To stick the crumbs on, just use some eggs then spray with oil before baking.

[fliss86]

Hi, he has no other aversions at all, a very happy and loving little boy who is delightful in every other way!! But I understand your alarm bell ringing! Thank you.

Breaded things are sometimes a hit, sometimes not. I guess I'm just going to have to keep offering all foods.

Does anyone have any opinions on reward charts? Good or bad?

Thanks for the link, the blog looks amazing.

Thing is, I can sort of get a balanced diet into him, just would rather not have to use 'tricks' or bribery. I'd like him to eat something because we are eating it and it looks good! And I'd love dinnertime to be a positive time of the day and not last an hour with me trying to encourage/cajole him. I'm not going to start saying, 'well if you don't eat then that's it' cos I can't stand the thought of him going to bed hungry, he's a brilliant sleeper and I don't want to risk ruining that!

Thanks everyone x

[creations]

And I'd love dinnertime to be a positive time of the day and not last an hour with me trying to encourage/cajole him.

I would stop the encouraging and cajoling and just let him sit with the family whilst you enjoy your dinner.  Still off him the same food you have, plus something you know he likes (I do this, serve the same but slightly altered, for my DS he likes his foods separate rather than mixed through so a stew I pick out and place a pile of carrots a pile of potato etc where as DP and I eat it all mixed up.  If our meal has mash potato I lift out some pre-mashing so DS can have boiled potato not mash, I put a small mash ball on his plate so he has the choice to join us with the mash and he has tried it about twice).
I know it's a lovely idea for everyone to enjoy that family meal together, it will come if you keep the habit of the evening meal as a social activity as well as a food one, keeping it light and enjoyable, stress free for all.

At this age it is pretty common for LOs not to eat much at the evening meal, instead taking on just about all their calorific needs earlier in the day.  If there is a particular problem area try addressing it at breakfast. I did this with DS, he ate so little protein it was a concern, I stopped giving muesli at breakfast and instead gave omelet, sausage or eggy bread making it a higher protein meal. He eats it ALL. A big surprise to me because he wouldn't even take a bite of protein at dinner time (ok one bite once in a blue moon).  I also focus balancing DS's diet through breakfast, lunch and morning and afternoon snacks so my dinner time it matters far less if he is hungry or not.

Reward charts, many people on BW forums use them, many are against them. I personally I don't like them and would never use one.
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/tcags.htm

[Lemonthyme]

Yeah I agree. I'm not down with reward charts for food particularly.  Food is enjoyment in itself and I agree with the PP about making it social.

[amayzie]

The other thing you could consider if these strategies aren't working for you is getting in contact with a speech pathologist or occupational therapist. They are trained to work with these issues and to address the source.