14 week old Touchy struggling with EASY.

[candersen]

I mean she shows tired signs at an hour then we do 10-15 min wind down then she is usually alseep 15 mins after that. I will post last 2 days:

6am wake 110ml
7.30 sleep (took half hour to self settle)
9.15 wake 110ml
10.30 sleep
1pm wake 90ml
2.20 sleep
4.15 80ml - awake but grouchy (friends over)
4.55 catnap
5.40 wake - grouchy
6.00 seemed starving 50 ml then bath etc
6.30 50ml (very grouchy here starts screaming spitting bottle out then taking it again, very unsettled, used to love bedtime?!)
7pm sleep
10.30 DF 120ml
12.30am woke with wind pain half hour to settle
3.15am 120ml
5.40am wake and pat back asleep

6.40 wake and feed 110ml
8.05 sleep self settle, 8.55 woke then self settled again
10am wake 110ml (went on outing, was awake for 1.5 hrs not happy towards the end)
11.35 fell asleep in car for half hour
12.00 - tried to carry car seat in, woke up could not re settle
12.30 100ml (2.5 hrs from last feed?! - she was HUNGRY)
1.20 sleep
3.30 wake
3.35 110ml
4.55 catnap
5.55 wake
6.10 bath
6.30 130ml (grouchy same as last night)
7pm bed
11pm 170ml
2am wake crying but self settled
3.45am 110ml

6.20am - woke crying - about to feed....

HOW DO I GET ON 3.5 EASY IF SHE WONT STAY AWAKE WITHOUT OT?

[*Ali*]

If you extend her A time gradually by 5 mins at a time then she really shouldn't get OT.

[candersen]

Ok thanks, and do I do this for all A times? What A time should she be on for her age? OT means a screaming match so I'm so scared of that....

Do I increase A time by 5 mins including wind down? Would it be a good idea to do 5 mins for a few days, 10 mins, then 15 etc? If you look at some of her awake times she is awake for an hour and a half including self settling.....

[*Ali*]

Normally we recommend extending A times by 15 mins but some bubbas who are more susceptible to OT do better on even smaller increments like 5 mins. If you extend her A time by 5 minutes and get a nap of 1.5hrs or so then I would increase the following A time too. Do that for 3 days and then add another 5 mins onto the A times. Yes A time is eyes open to eyes closed so includes settling and falling asleep. I would try to do a little more activity before putting her in the crib for that first nap as even though the A time was 1.5hrs, 30 mins of that was in the cot. She may well settle at the same A time if you put her in later anyway. 
Typical A time for a 4mo is 1hr45-2hrs so she will probably be working towards that in the next couple weeks. Average A times and "Is my baby ready to increase A time?"

[*Kara*]

I agree with Ali hun... take it slow and she will manage.

Another thing I would consider is shortening your wind down... essentially a long wind down effectively reduces an A time as the wind down isn't a full activity time full of stimulation...  I would limit your wind down to 10 mins and see if that helps her settle a bit easier as well.

[candersen]

Ok thank you will give the a time a go and shortening wind down.

Also, yesterday feeds were all over the place, the df got her through til 4.30am and so when she woke at 6.40 she didn't want to eat we kept offering through a time but no luck , so of course this made her wake early for a feed, where again she didn't take much because she was ot
The cycle continues all day. This happens every few days. Is there a way to do the df so as it sees her through the night? Last night I missed it by accident (usually 10.30) and she woke at 11 for it, she never used to wake this early for a feed?

Also bt routine usually gets upset and refuses bottle but once calmed down takes a full feed and goes down for the night well... Wakes from cn happy, bath, massage, tummy time, go into bedroom and starts crying. 20 mins or so to get her to eat, then happy after eating.. Any ideas?

Sorry so many questions!

[*Ali*]

She is still very young so it is completely age-appropriate for her to need a NF in the early hours. I think she will start to go longer as her belly gets bigger and she is taking more in the day.

[candersen]

I understand its normal for her to have NF but my question is what to do when she wakes for the day and only takes a small amount because she ate only two hours before? This starts snack feeding off for the day. If she wakes at 3am she will take a full feed come 7am, but any later (5am) and no chance. Tried giving her less at these early feeds and doesn't make a difference?

[*Ali*]

I was answering your question "Is there a way to do the df so as it sees her through the night?"
How much is she taking at that 4.30 feed you mentioned for last night? Could you offer less or would she be unhappy? That might just see her through to morning and then you could offer the next bottle an hour after wake up.
You could do a second DF about 3 but it would probably set her up for a bad habit whereas waiting for her to wake leaves her to sleep longer when ready.

[candersen]

She takes about 120-150ml at df and then anything from 70-100ml at the next feed (past two nights between 4-5.30am)

I offered 70ml this am and then when she woke at 6.45am she took 100ml. I cant offer feed an hour after wake up because by that time she is ready to go back down again for a nap.

Is 100ml enough for her during the day? She seems to make up for it during the night. Would love to space feeds to 3.5hrs but she wont do it because by the time that rolls around its almost sleep time?

[*Ali*]

It's better to feed her right before a nap than have her wake mid-nap though isn't it?
How are things going with pushing that first A time?
100mls is a small bottle but if it can see her through 3 hrs then that would be Ok. I really found mine increased their A time a lot between 3-4mo from 1.5 to 2hrs so I expect you will soon have a lot more A time to play with.

[candersen]

Increasing a time has been ok. She sees to do well with an hour 15 mins. Can't get pAst the one hour first nap though! Not taking cn well either dispite extended a times. Seems on the days we get her to feed well she doesn't sleep and visa versa. Today first nap 1 hr 2nd 2.5 hrs 3rd 40mins tried to re settle for 1st and 3rd with no luck. Now in bed at 645 early. On plus Sid all feeds 130ml 3.5 hourly. Just getting naps and feeds to work together.

[*Ali*]

That's not bad at all. Very few babies are doing ideal and/or predictable routines at this age so don't worry at all that her naps have taken on their own pattern. My DS2 was doing his longest nap on the 3rd nap at this age and we made it work. The others were 1hr15 and 35mins I think.

[candersen]

Screaming before naps still happening 25 mins plus....any further ideas?

first nap 2hrs.
2nd nap 1.5-2 hrs
3rd nap 40 mins.....cant get nap after this. awake for 2.5-3 hrs before bed and goes down well at bedtime...

hate to see her in such distress and I don't know what I am doing wrong with my EASY!

[*Ali*]

What were her A times before and after those naps? Are you sure she wasn't UT?