Nearly 9 month old waking in night, standing in cot, crying if I leave! Help!

[Kato2]

Hi, I am having some serious sleep issues with my little boy. He is 9 months old in 3 days time.

- He has dropped his night time feed 3 weeks ago but still wakes at 12, 2 and 4. The last 2 weeks he's had a virus and teething so I have let him sleep in with me at either 2am or 4am otherwise he would just scream all night long.

- when he's unwell he becomes very reliant on my hair to get him back to sleep at his NW. I tie my hair back so he does not use it to go to sleep but still reaches for it at NW. The odd time I give in (after 1.5 hrs the other night) he's asleep in seconds!

- he is waking himself up by standing up in his cot. I put him back down and he tries to sel settle but as soon as I leave he stands back up!

- he is put to bed awake and self soothes (unless dummy falls out and I put it back in and leave room) but he has been taking longer to get to sleep at night recently too

- he will sleep perfectly all night if in bed with me- doesn't stand up and sleeps soundly. Wakes once, grabs for hair and asleep again in seconds! This has only happened twice when I've given in at around midnight after serious screaming!tonight being one of them!

- he is not teething and no other pain as far as I am aware

- I have taken some of my hair which I intend to sew into a teddy. I know this may sound ridiculous but I'm at my wits end!

- when I do settle him usually I put dummy in, put a teddy in his arms and he drops off.

His routine is:

6am awake and bottle
7am breakfast
9-9.15am sleep for 1.5 sometimes 2 hours
11ish awake and bottle
12 lunch
2.15 sleep
3.45 awake and bottle (sometimes drops this)
5pm dinner
7pm bath and bottle
7.30 sleep (put down awake)

Please help I really don't know what to do. Also he's now asleep in my bed shoul I move him back to cot? Also he's never sttn

[PaulsMom]

Hi!  Hugs for the nw's.  there's a lot going on with your Lo.  I take it, he's pretty busy during the day? 

Ok, when i read through your post, I see a few things that may be the source of the nw. 

The standing in the crib.  Unfortunately, this is developmental and will pass with time.  I realize that's not exactly what you want to hear so I would recommend that your Lo gets lots of time to practice standing, pulling up, etc during the day.  My DS was a very busy guy and took to standing also.  I found that if he was physically tired, he would sleep much better.  So lots of activity during the day and then a good wind down routine to signal, it's time to sleep.  Wrt standing, what I ended up doing was to lay him down if he stood and then I would lay my hands on his chest and legs until he relaxed.  Then he fell asleep.

Comfort items.  It sounds like he uses your hair as a comfort item so you have a good idea to give him a lock of your hair.  I would do this and see how it goes. 

Your routine looks good but I'm wondering if he can handle a slightly longer A time?  Try keeping him up for an extra 10 min for the next few days and see how he does,

Lastly co-sleeping.  I'll admit I don't have any experience with it.  You can see how he does with the suggestions above and sleeping in his cot but if he's dependent on sleeping with you here is some good info regarding weaning co-sleeping.  Gentle Removal Plan

HTH

[Kato2]

Thanks for your reply. I thought I would update you on our progress.

- the standing in his sleep has now passed thankfully! He gets masses of play time and time to practice his skills during the day so I hope that helped.

- I made sure we did a good 1 hr wind down like you suggested and I think this helped.

- the hair is definitely working as he is no longer reaching for my hair if he has his hair teddy!

- I've been doing w2s for his 12 wake up and so far so good, after 5 days hea now not waking anymore at 12. Will start for his 2am at the end of this week and then 4am week after.

- he is however still having the odd night (2 in last 7 nights) where it's taking around 3 hours to get him 100% off to sleep at his NW. He started making his mantra noise and appears asleep but must be in REM and keeps stirring and we have to start again. I think he is somewhat asleep as he doesn't seem more tired in the morning. Any ideas why this might be? It appears he is trying very hard to settle himself but as if r just can't quite get there!

Thanks again for your help! Any further help greatly appreciated

[PaulsMom]

Yay!  I'm glad that things have improved  .

With regards to his nw, when you say that it takes him 3 hrs to get 100% asleep, is he really awake and crying?  When do these types of nw's occur (ie. right after you put him down or early morning, etc)? 

Generally if he is just mantra crying, then you can leave him be.  Be close at hand, just in case he needs help settling but otherwise I'd let him try to settle himself.  Also make sure he has his hair teddy so he can settle himself. 

[Kato2]

The NW start around 12am (closer to 1/2 now I've been using wake to sleep). He wakes me up crying so I go to him and settle him by lying him back down, popping his dummy in and giving him his hair teddy. He makes mantra noises so I let him settle himself but the mantra noises can go on for a very long time- he just doesn't seem to get into that deep sleep easily so often needs me to re settle. I will sometimes leve his room after 20 minutes only to have him cry (properly crying) as soon as I'm back to my room? Any suggestions? He's not hungry so I just don't know why he's waking and how I can encourage him to stop and sttn! X

[PaulsMom]

thanks for clarifying what's happening.  To me, it seems that it may be some type of discomfort that is keeping him from getting into a deep sleep. is it possible that he's teething?  For some LOs, cutting is worse but for others it's actually the tooth moving up through the gum that is troublesome (my DS was like this) so you don't actually realize that it's teething until a few weeks later when the tooth is cutting.  Would you consider any pain relief (teething gel, powder or pain meds) just to see if it helps him?

[Kato2]

Yes absolutely. He is drooling a lot but doesn't seem to have any pain in the day? Will try meds at his first NW as well as before bed. Not sure how to get rid of the wake up altogether... Do you think w2s is effective? So far we have got rid of the 12 and 4 wake up (he has then now and again but was consistently waking at these times before I did w2s at 11ish)... Assume I'd have to set my alarm for 12/1ish?

Last night was a good night as he only woke at 2 and then at 6.15. He went back down until 7.15 after I brought him into our bed (is it wrong I want a little cuddle?) x

[PaulsMom]

He is drooling a lot but doesn't seem to have any pain in the day?

It's possible, especially if your LO is  busy.  At this age, there is so much to do but when they have to sleep, they notice the discomfort.

I haven't used W2S but I do think it can work.  It sounds like you have used it successfully so I would try for the 1 am nw. 

is it wrong I want a little cuddle?

  No, I don't think that it's wrong if you don't mind doing this again moving forward.  Plus you both deserve a cuddle. 

[Kato2]

Hi! Just thought I would update on our situation! After 9 long months of awful sleep my little boy started to sleep through the night last week! I have never been so shocked!!! He gradually started waking less and less after w2s. He had had the odd night of waking up but that has only been when he has been overtired. Thank you south for you help, I really do appreciate ut

[PaulsMom]

This is awesome! I'm so glad that he's STTN