In desperate need of help

[delancepants]

Ds2 is 14.5 mo.  I've been trying to get him into a routine for months but every time I try, I get about a week or two into it, struggle to make progress and then he gets sock or starts teething and we're back to apop.  I recently decided to go for set naps in order to fit into the school run, but of course 1 week in and the whole family came down with an awful virus for 10 days.  then my Indian visa ran out so I had to come back to the UK.  So for the next 6 weeks or maybe even up to 3 months I'll be touring round various friends and family's houses until I get my visa sorted out.  I arrived three days ago and continued with the set naps attempt because even though I don't have a school run to do I have no idea what Ds's A time is now.  So day three and things seem to be getting worse rather than better.  he's only sleeping about 8 or 9 hours at night and his nap has reduced from 1.5 hours on wed to 45 mins today.  He's in bits and I can't stand to see him this way.  My question is this...am I crazy to try to get him into a routine when  we're moving round different houses every few days or weeks?  I just CAN'T apop any more it's killing me.  And if it is possible, is it just a case of forcing him into this set nap routine?  o

[anna*]

Honestly, I think it's unrealistic to expect to work with set naps while you are travelling around every few days.

[delancepants]

well let me clarify, sticking to timings is NOT an issue.  I know where i'm going and i'll definitely be able to stick to timings.  it's just the location that will change.  do you still think it's impossible?

[anna*]

No not impossible but it will likely be more long drawn out and more difficult to get a routine established than doing it at home. No, of course not impossible to stick to timings.

[delancepants]

yes, of course, it's bound to be more difficult.  he'll be in the same travel cot the whole time and the same loveys and also I've ordered a portable black out blind to try and minimise disruption.  So I guess I just have to stick with it and keep my fingers crossed then.

[delancepants]

Ok success!!  I put loads of towels over the window last night, he slept two hours extra!!  So 10h 40 overnight and 1h30 nap.  I think we're heading in the right direction.  also had to rearrange my travel plans which means I'll be staying in my dad's house for two whole weeks from today.  Hopefully that should help to get him settled into the new routine before we move on.

[delancepants]

Ok, how does this set naps business work then?.... DS has now been asleep 2h45mins for his nap and no sign of waking up yet!! Great news, the longest nap he's ever taken on his own! But now I'm worried that he might struggle to get to sleep at bedtime!! So far I have been aiming for a 1.15 nap time and 8pm bedtime so today was:

6.40 wake 1.15 nap, still asleep at 4

Should I have woken him up?? Should I still go for bedtime at 8pm? I'm not really sure how it works...what time should I put him down tonight?

On an ongoing basis presumably I stick to the 8pm bedtime, but should I shift the nap a little earlier? How do I know how to tweak the timings?

Thanks Lia

[anna*]

I'd stll go for the same bedtime. In future you can wake him from his nap to preserve bedtime, if you feel like he needs it. Better to cap the nap and keep bedtime if you are doing set times.

[delancepants]

Ok so wake him up by 4pm latest, something like that?

I'm feeling pretty positive about this atm, in fact it's making me wonder where the advantage of a BW flexible routine is over set naps...is there any discussion of this on the site already?

[anna*]

Set naps are pretty well used by BWers once baby is over 12 months. There's a post about it at the top of this page.

[delancepants]

Great, thanks for that.  What about under 12 mo?

[anna*]

Some babies do OK with set naps under 12 months - usually textbook/angel types. The risk is building up a massive OT spiral which it is difficult to recover from. Personally with both my babies (DS textbook/DD angel) I went to pretty much set naps from about 8 months because they both were/are pretty resilient with OT and I preferred the consistency. It very much depends on the kid and the mum though. Sometimes even with a non-text book/angel kid we'll recommend set naps if the mum is in a panic about A times and nap times etc. There are a lot of variables to be taken into consideration.

[delancepants]

Thanks that's very helpful. 

Last night DS slept 11 hours on his own for the first time, hooray!

[anna*]

Nice!

[delancepants]

Well the next night after that was even better, he slept nearly 12 hours!  Fantastic!

Then yesterday I realised he was teething, he fell asleep by accident in the car from 10.10-10.30, but still managed to take a two hour nap from 1.30-3.30.  He only slept 10 hours last night though and he's in a really bad way today.  He only slept 45 mins for his nap.  I put him in the sling to see if he'd fall back to sleep (I wouldn't normally but my goodness he's in bits) but he didn't manage to.  So now i have two questions...  What do I do if a) he falls asleep in the car outside of nap time and b) what do I do if he only takes a 45min nap and won't extend?  I haven't had any luck with extending lately.

Thanks