Breastfeeding, tongue tie and silent reflux

[*Ali*]

Sorry to hear you are cross. It is your decision and no one should make that for you.
If he is the same on the bottle then can you just go back to the breast and do some of the suggestions in  the link I posted in my last post?
Did you get a chance to call some IRL help?

[Katielouise84]

Hey,

Well what a 24 hours... He definitely has trouble with his tongue. He cannot use a bottle properly either, so it's not been me thats been the problem. So my head feels a lot better but poor baby.

He had his cranial osteopath session today and she says he's no full sucking reflex in his tongue so whatever method of feeding we give him he's going to struggle. And i think i can cope with that and BF him still. I just need to relax. The osteopath is going to retrain his tongue to work properly, so were back next friday - hope he's ok until then. So all the problems we've got… lots of gripey wind, gassy, tummy ache is down to his tongue not functioning properly, and not something I am doing. x

[Fiver]

These people are incredibly experienced with dealing with BF issues, especially oral issues such as tongue and lip ties and can divide them also.  They offer clinics in Huddersfield and Halifax as well at one to one consultations (http://milkmatters.org.uk/services-offered/prices/)

If he's struggling with the bottle as well, then there is definitely an issue which needs resolving and I'm not sure that "retraining" the tongue is going to be sufficient.

There's a charge for their service, but I really do think it might be worth your while being in touch with them as they really do know what they're doing (and no, I don't work for them )  Just something else for you to consider, but it does sound like you want to continue to BF and, online, we can support you only so far.

[Katielouise84]

Hey, thanks for the reply...

They are the people I am in constant contact with! The lactation consultant throws so many different reasons/suggestions for his fussy feeding. It's only been today that we've realised about his tongue. I've messaged her to see what she suggests!

Feel so much better knowing it's not me!x

[Fiver]

Huge hugs.  It can take a while to get a tongue tie noticed.  My friend didn't spot DD's until she was 8wo and that was after seeing her every day (more or less) in those 8 weeks and crying to her all the time about how painful it was.

Really hope your mum and partner can be more on board with you BF now

[shivi]

huge hugs xxx
As a speech and language therapist and a 2nd time mum (and someone who then went on to be an int. lac. consultant) it took me 8 weeks also to notice a tongue tie in my DD.....

TT can be SOOO upsetting for the tummy alone.....causes so much gas, such fussiness and, in our case, so many daytime issues.

Hope you can get it sorted, and soon xxx

[Erin M]

((hugs)) sweetie, I admire your perseverance!  At least you can tell dh and you mum that he's got an actual reason for the fussiness that a bottle won't magically fix. 

[Katielouise84]

His tongue isn't tied anymore it was cut at 9 days and 8 weeks old. It that he doesn't know what to do with it. Poor little guy. Need to get my confidence up to going out as I'm still scared just incase I can't settle him and I don't what other people staring if he's crying during a BF!x

[*Ali*]

What sort of places are you worried about going to?
There are often places in shopping centres and cares where you can get some privacy buy either using a feeding room or sitting in a corner facing the wall. Not suggesting you hide away of course just that it may be less stressful for you.

[Erin M]

I always fed in the car when mine were newborn and needed time to latch -- I had no problem BFing in public when mine were able to latch easily, but trying to get a latch right with a newborn was something I found difficult with people I didn't know around.  I know some people are totally okay with it, but can't say that I'm one of them.

[nsalfarlie]

I am very pleased to read that you might be finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (you still need to get there, though). I am very happy to hear that your lactation consultant is offering lots of suggestions because every baby is unique and sometimes all it takes is a small adjustment. I am still concerned though that there is more help out that you are currently getting. Why do you have to look on the internet on how many times to express for example, why didn't your lactation consultant discuss this with you?  Does she look busy? How long does she actually sit with you and observe your feed and talk things through?
I would still urge you to give a call to Brestfeeding Network Helpline which is 0300 100 0210. It's free service and there is no pressure to BF. If you want to BF (and it sounds you really to) then they will work with you for as long as it takes. But no one is going to judge you if you can't. It's run by mothers who breastfed themselves and had a training in BF as well. Most mothers had difficulties and got help and this is the reason they are doing it.
Another thing you might look into is a DVD  called Dunstan Baby Language. It's helps to distinguish between cries of hunger, tiredness, wind etc. I found it amazing and when I gave it to my friend she said it saved her marriage because even her husband could  identify a hungry baby cry and stopped calling my friend a bad mother when she refused to feed again if only one hour had passed between the previous feed. It's not cheap on Amazon but it could sometimes be bought cheaper on EBay.  I think they do apps now, as well. You can google it up before you make any decision.

[Fiver]

It's helps to distinguish between cries of hunger, tiredness, wind etc

Or check out the Baby Whisperer books where Tracy describes the sounds of the cries and body language that often accompanies them

[*Ali*]

There is also a summary here Re: colic, recognising cries, and massage

[Katielouise84]

I'm just wanting to be able to nip out for a walk and into a cafe, or to a baby group, fills me with fear thinking about it!

I'm ringing the breastfeeding network tomorrow, on my to do list.

I've had a look at the baby whisperer book, think I need to dig it out and look again!!

Poor little man is still struggling to feed its heartbreaking to watch. Think the thing I'm finding hardest is that I'm his Mum and should be able to help him, think that's where my feeling of being useless is coming from.

[Erin M]

Think the thing I'm finding hardest is that I'm his Mum and should be able to help him, think that's where my feeling of being useless is coming from.

((hugs)) sweetie.  2 out of my 3 cried a lot as babies, regardless of what I did to help them.  Definitely frustrating!