Breastfeeding, tongue tie and silent reflux

[*Ali*]

I know some people rush in as soon as LO is waking from a nap and feed in the still-dark nursery before LO rouses too much. Is that an option?

[Fiver]

It sounds like he's probably trying to cluster feed, but being a bit tired he's getting himself worked up.  Milk supply is naturally lower, but higher in fat in the evenings and contains sleepy properties.  Have you tried just doing some skin to skin if he's worked up and letting him try to get to the breast himself?  Yes, he may well cry a bit, but if you can avoid offering the bottle and allow him to get there, it will get better

[Katielouise84]

He's still in my room so through the night I just get him as he's stirring and they seem ok.

Skin to skin doesn't soothe him. I never had skin to skin when I had him due to c-section.

It'd be ok if he cried for a bit but he just goes on and on. Screaming until he's fed, which I feel like I can't do. It makes him worse trying to BF him.

[Erin M]

Does he like the bath -- I know what the other ladies mentioned about feeding in the bath has really worked for some ladies. 

[ZacsMumme]

Pacifier? - I would rock Z with his face snuggled into my armpit and hhe dummy between me and him. It helped stop the crying and calm him down. I helped it's the reflux too

[nsalfarlie]

Hi,

I so sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. BF is clearly very important to you. Did you think of calling Breastfeeding Network or La Leche League or Association of Breasfeeding Mothers Helplines?
They are run by trained volunteers and if they cannot help you over the phone they will invite you to one of the local groups or even arrange a home visit. It's  a free service

[Fiver]

All of their contact details are available here - "In real life" help, Useful websites, helplines

[Katielouise84]

Update today...... The HV came round as I broke down on he phone when she asked how I am doing, LO just cried he while time she was there and she said I've a difficult baby (know that) that I need a break, I need to see the GP, she didn't know if he was just hungry or tired or had tummy ache. To be honest she didn't know anything. Asked things like what's he like sleeping, have we trialled him without his omeprazole, to carry on topping up with bottles if needed.

My mum and partner have more or less made an intervention an hour ago saying that I'm not living just existing (I don't go anywhere as I hate trying to BF him in public as he cries and I end up making a bottle up anyway and j just feel what's the point? And I also hate carrying formula round with me - actually think I've got a problem, I just feel guilty that I'm not bfing and I'm jealous of all the other mums that do and are happy with their babies, and I really struggle settling LO how awful does that sound?) and that LO's no routine and I don't do anything at home. So we're trialling a full 24 hours of bottle formula feeding him see what difference that makes, obviously not my choice but my mum broke down and said "what other option do we have when we see you like this and think if things don't get better we'll have to get you some professional help". So my mums having him downstairs tonight and I'm just getting up to express.

Well I feel . Tired, headache, jealous, guilty, it's awful.

Can I ask what's best with bottles? It's doing my head in making them up fresh every time..

Can I fill bottles with boiling water leave them to cool, add formula and warm? (Think that's the best for going out)

Or can I just make up a few and leave them in the fridge and use as needed? (Think that's the best while I'm at home?)

Sorry for the rant xx

[Fiver]

The recommendations are to make them up fresh each time.  I know some people do other things, but you would need to take some advice from your HV about what other options you have.  I always made them up freshly (although I did used to fill a thermos flask so I didn't have to boil the kettle twice, but the water was still over 70 degrees).

It's really hard work having a LO with a tongue tie or reflux, but both can be awful.  I can totally relate.  I made myself miserable trying to get my DS to sleep/feed when he was so uncomfortable and put a lot of pressure on myself to the point that I ended up with PND.

I can't remember if you said you'd tried cranial osteopathy, but some people find they have good results with that for reflux and to alleviate discomfort in other places.  Might be worth considering?

[C&B&E]

Sorry if this has already been asked, but how much omeprazole is your lo on, and when do you give it?  Did your doctor mention that you need to give it on an empty tummy and 30 mins before a feed? 

[*Ali*]

Hugs hun. I hope you are in agreement with the trial of 100% formula. I worry you have been railroaded by your mum and you don't sound like it was your decision. I'm sure she has the best of intentions but if you do feel that this is not what you want and they have taken the decision out of your hands then I would urge you to stand your ground. Maybe I have misunderstood and if so I apologise.

I would definitely recommend getting some BF help IRL if it is BFing you wish to pursue. As you have found Hvs just aren't knowledgable in these areas.

[nsalfarlie]

Hi,

I really admire your perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds. I feel you have been badly let down up to this point. You did not have skin to skin after birth (even though it could have been arranged), the lactation consultant was no help and the HV hasn't got a clue. Your mother and husbands reached the point where they feel BF is not good for either you or the baby. Yet you still want to go on.
I  remember myself in a similar situation 4 years ago when my 7 months old was waking me up 8-10 times every night for a feed and I was a walking zombie. Everyone was pushing me towards controlled crying and I just didn't feel it was the right course of action for me or my baby. I will forever be indebted to Tracey Hogg because she showed me the other way. As soon as I starting reading her book things fell into place. It wasn't easy, it took 3 weeks instead of 3 days but we got there in the end. And it gave me the confidence that I am a good mother.
I urge you to look far and wide for the person you can click with. I am currently undergoing a 12 week training  to be a Breastfeeding Network Helper. (Breastfeeding Network Supporters have to do 2 years training on top of this, there is so much to learn about BF so that we can offer real help). BfN a UK charity run by mothers who breastfed their own children. We support every woman and her baby, regardless of the way she chooses to feed.  We work with mothers who want to bottle feed if this is want they want. I am very alarmed that no one has showed you how to safely prepare a formula and you are fishing this information on the internet. I believe you have been badly let down by health professionals.
I pray that you get the help you so desperately need. One mother on our course had so much difficulty she took advice from over a dozen people before she found the right person and that person made all the difference and she ended up breastfeeding her child for 3 years. Luckily, her second child was much easier. I don't know where in the world you live, but someone kindly sent you a link with all the contact details of the many voluntary organizations after I posted my first rely 22 hours ago. It sounds you badly need a shoulder to cry on as well. I pray that you can get in touch with someone you can talk your difficulties through and come up with a solution that is right for you and your baby, Good luck.

[Katielouise84]

Fiver - Yes we go for cranial osteopathy, got another session today.

C&B&E - No, the Dr never mentioned that to me, thanks for the advice and I will try that from now on.

nsalfarlie - I'm in the UK (West Yorkshire) I will have a look at the BfN, I don't want to stop Bfing, but I think LO is a hungry/greedy baby and doesn't always get what he needs from me as i've had to top up feeds with a bottle anyway. So i'm in two minds over what to do. Thank yu for your help and advice  His night time feeds have always been fine, he's sleepy so feeds lovely, I might try that again once we've stopped with this whole bottle fiasco. What happens to supply though? I had to express loads this morning as I'd not fed for ages. How do I regulate my supply if I just feed at night? Should I be expressing through the day?

[*Ali*]

If you want to keep the supply to be able to BF him again then ideally you need to pump at all missed feeds, so every 3hrs. Any is better than none though of course.
How did the day of bottle feeding go? 
This FAQ may be useful Relactation: I stopped nursing, but regret my decision. Can I start again?

[Katielouise84]

He feeds the same on the bottle as he does with me - he fusses look around, spits the teat out and doesn't drink a full amount, he was fine in the night and took a 7oz and 6oz feed but this morning 8.30 it took him over an hour to get 5.5 down him and he was hungry again at 10.30 but took ages to get bottle ready so fed him sleepy at 11, and he only took 3 oz.

Oh I have no idea whats right  I know i'm feeling rely cross at the decision  my Mum and partner made for me to bottle feed, I hate doing it!