How to start EASY at 6 months with 2nd child - please help

[Stressedoutmum]

Hi,
New here and really looking for some support and help as I am at my wits end. I am mum to DD 3.5 and DS 51/2 months. DS has never really been in a routine and I convinced myself that this would work to our advantage as I have DD to run after and he would just fit in and know what to do......... Surprise, surprise it hasn't happened!

I've done a bit of research and like the sound of the EASY routine but think I would still need a bit of flexibility built in as no 2 days are the same for me but would like to intro it's structure and methods - is this possible at such a late stage? And how do I do it, any pointers?

Current situation is
DS wakes 6.30 - 8 (if out of desperation I have brought him into my bed)
Feeds
9.10 to 9.30 we need to drop of dd to nursery. DS can often be in melt down at this point and really needs sleep but can't put him down until we are back.
9.30 sometimes has another feed if he had one at 7ish
9.30 sleeps in pram after a should - although I have been trying to limit the movement and have him fall asleep himself.
10.00 wakes with a suddenly jolt and no amount of sunshine and rocking will put him back over - he is then very over tired and no quality awake time.
11/11.30 another feed - tryi to introduce a bottle here which he takes but can only take 2-3oz - today he took 6.
12.30 - nursery pick up for dd so again can't put him down when tired as we need to head out. He often sleeps in car or pram when at out with dd after nursery but only for 30mins again.
2.30ish feed
3.00 sleep but again only for 30 mins
5.00 I will try for a catnap but he is usually too interested in what's going on and I need to make dinner for oh and dd.

If he had a reset button it would be great as I just wish I could stop everything and start again. Can anyone point me in the right direction please? I am currently in his room sshh patting him while dd is downstairs which makes me feel so guilty.

Sorry this my be a bit of a rant but I just don't know how to fix it....

Thanks in advance :-)

P.s should also add that he wakes at least once a night for a proper feed. I can hear his tummy rumble. Oh has started dream feed which gets us to 2.30am but he is really restless again from 5.30am onwards unless in bed with me and  I can pat him as required :-(

[Seh13]

Hi!

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time...  I can totally sympathise, being in a similar situation to you - DS2 is 6 months and has 2 older siblings.  Trying to fit naps and feeds around school/nursery runs is so hard isn't it!  I'm sure someone will be able to give you great advice about establishing EASY with a 5.5mo etc but just wanted to let you now how I (sort of!) manage with mine in case it helps you.

DS2, at 6 months, has just about reached the point where we can get home from Nursery/School run in the morning and put him to bed without him being totally OT and/or falling asleep on the school run which makes life SO much easier.  At 5.5 months I would have thought it wont be too long until your LO can mange 3hrs awake time first thing which might mean you can get home from the nursery run and get him into bed for a nap without him being too OT.  I expect that will make things much easier for you, as it has for us.  As for encouraging independent sleep, I worked on this with my LO when he was younger (about 8 weeks I think) but what I did was concentrate on getting him to sleep in his bed using shh/pat for one nap a day when my other 2 children were out at nursery and school (that way it didn't matter if I was up in his room for ages shh/patting) and for the times when they were both around, I'd AP naps in the sling/car seat/pram etc..  The time it took for him to go to sleep using shh/pat very quickly decreased so that when I only needed to shh/pat for 5 minutes or so, I then was able to help him nap when the other two were also at home as I felt able to leave them downstairs for that amount of time.  Then before long he didn't need any shh/pat which was amazing!  And as for short naps, I'm sure someone can offer you better advice than me...  But we had 30 or 40 minute naps only up until 4 months or so and still get them now in the afternoons especially.  Getting a good first nap though in his bed seems to work well and it doesn't matter too much if his other two naps are 30 or 40 minutes and out and about in the car seat etc..

Good luck and I hope things get easier for you soon.

[Stressedoutmum]

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.  It makes me feel so much better to hear that other mammas struggle with the juggle 

I think your suggestion could work with him getting a better nap in the morning and we are currently mid nap. You mentioned that he should go 3 hours before morning nap but he starts showing signs of tiredness after 1 hour and by the time we are back from nursery he is beside himself and defo ot.

Today we have got through the usual 30min jolt awakening    so we are making progress already.

Thanks again
L

[Seh13]

Great to get through the 30 minute jolt today!  Hope it was a good nap!  On the FAQ there is a useful link (sorry, don't know how to add link here) about A times at different ages.  5.5-6.5 months the average A time says approx. 2.25-2.5hrs so I guess it could be a little while before your LO can make 3hrs without getting too overtired...  Until your LO can stay awake happily for longer, perhaps he could have a nap in the car seat/pram on the way to/from nursery to stop he getting too overtired?  We spent a while having to do that which wasn't ideal as my DS only naps for a maximum of 20-30 mins in the car seat and I have to keep the engine running or he'll wake  But it bridged the gap between taking a nap at home before the school run when he was really little and now, when he can just about wait until we get home.
Not sure where about you are, but we have a half term holiday from school and nursery next week which means a whole week of me being able to put LO down for his first nap when he needs it, rather than when it fits in with his siblings! 
Hope things continue to go well.

[Erin M]

This is the link the previous poster (who is giving you fabulous advice!) was referring to: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

[Stressedoutmum]

Thankyou again. This morning's nap was good  with him waking up a happy bubba for the ffirst time in ages  I even got to clean the bathroom after I could tear myself away incase he woke!

We don't get half term here (Glasgow) so will keep at it when I can.

Can I ask, when your lo had a car seat nap for the 30mins did you just start A from scratch on awakening for normal length or make it shorter as he wasn't rested?

Thanks for the activity times. He is defiantly about the 2.5 hour mark.

Thanks

[Seh13]

Good news on the good nap (and bathroom cleaning!  )
I've never really been sure on what to do re A time after a 30 minute nap to be honest!  But yes, after a first nap of 30 minutes in the car seat, the next A time was definitely shorter if possible, but not by a great deal...  Maybe 20/30 minutes or so.  Later on in the day if he has a short nap then the A time often has to stay a normal length though, mainly due to afternoon school/nursery run getting in the way but he seems to deal with longer A times better in the afternoon than he does in the mornings. 

[Stressedoutmum]

Thankyou for sharing. This weekend has been the best we have had for ages as DS has slept the best he has for months  OH took a turn in shh-pat and he seemed well rested most of the time although was still OT by bed so need to work on extending them a bit yet.

Thank you for your support, really appreciate it and can't believe what a difference it's made in such a short time. I am converted! Bought the books the other day and looking forward to getting them and tweaking it further.

I am now a lot less stressed out mum
X

[Seh13]

That sounds great! Hope your week has continued to go well!