4mo not going back to sleep after night waking

[Jenstuds]

Hi
In last few weeks have been tackling our LOs feed to sleep habit. Am delighted in many ways with our progress - he'll now settle in his cot without intervention.

However now I'm no longer feeding him to sleep I'm struggling to get him back to sleep when he wakes at night. He sleeps for 8-10 hours straight (which I am soo happy about and take no credit for!) However when he wakes for food I can't get him back to sleep. I used to lie next to him in bed and breast feed him into a deep sleep and continue to offer it if he woke. Given our new approach I can't do this. So I don't really know what to do. When he wakes it's getting light and he just thinks it's up time. If I put him back in bed after the feed he just lies there awake for an hour them gets crabby.

Any ideas?

[katie80]

Hi there, well done on getting him to independent sleep! Can you give us an example of your EAS routine?  It may be that he needs a routine tweak to help him back to sleep at that hour.

Do you have anything that can block the light out of the room? Room-darkening shades or curtains, or even just putting some cardboard or a blanket up? Also, as long as he is going to sleep independently during the day and at bedtime, it is fine if he feeds to sleep at his NW (as that is a feed he still needs, thus not a prop).  I wouldn't necessarily put him in bed with you to feed, but I wouldn't be trying to keep him awake near the end either.

[Jenstuds]

On a day when he doesn't fall asleep after night feed it looks a bit like this:

S (for night) 9.30pm
E 5.45am (for about thirty minutes)
A (if he's not sleepy we just hang out quietly in his room)
S 7.45am (usually takes 15-30 mins to settle so put down earlier, this is his asleep time), usually naps for 1.5-2.5 hours on a good day
E 10.00am
A
S 12.00n (as before put down before this, this is asleep time, naps 1.5-2 hours on a good day)
E 2.00pm
A
S 5.00pm (often in sling whilst I walk, this nap is hard to get and he rarely ever settles in bed, naps 45m-1hr)
E 6.00pm
A Bath with big brother at 8pm
E 8.20pm (due to poor milk supply this feed takes an age, at least an hour. Am trying to introduce formula but he won't take a bottle)
S 9.30pm (falls asleep almost immediately in bed)

He is always exhausted come bedtime. He has a big brother who sleeps 9pm to 9.30am and it'd be great if eventually our LO slept 8.30pm to 8.30am so I can deal with him before his brother gets up. However because he won't take a bottle his final feed always takes ages so it's usually 9.30pm before he gets to sleep. He wakes between 5am and 6.30am and then his feeds run four hourly from there. I usually put him down for a nap 90 minutes after he last woke and he takes around 15-45 minutes to settle to sleep.

Thanks for the help with this.

[Jenstuds]

Hi

Since posting this things have changed somewhat. Yesterday and today he did go back to sleep after his night waking (perhaps because they were a bit earlier.) But when he wakes after two more hours sleep we are in a total pickle with respect to our EASY. He's not hungry cos it's only been two hours. And he only gets hungry around sleep time which is a real nightmare given I'm trying not to feed him to sleep. This might no longer be a query for this board, not sure where to post it though.

[katie80]

You're more than welcome to keep posting here! It looks to me like your routine is your biggest issue.  He's up for too long before his 5pm nap and then up way too long before BT, so is most likely quite OT when he finally does go to sleep for the night.  OT usually presents itself in one of two ways in night sleep... either a LO has lots of early NWs and unsettled sleep or crashes for the night and then wakes up early (after 8/9/10hr) and has a hard time getting back to sleep because of the built up hormones (this is your case). 

With babies of this age, we typically suggest working on an 12-13hr day still, which is what your goal is with the 8:30-8:30 routine.  But, if you want to do that routine, you need to do whatever you can to get him back to sleep when he wakes in the early morning.  If not, I think you need to start putting him to bed earlier, i.e. 8pm, so he's getting more restful sleep and then you can start working on his routine from there.  Right now, his day is super long with not a lot of restful naps in the afternoon, so he's OT.

WRT your milk supply... not all EBF babies make a full 4hr EASY until they are started on solids.  Have you tried giving a top up feed an hr after the main feed, so that you know he won't wake hungry from a nap and you can also increase your supply a bit?

Hope that helps a little.  What do you think?

[Jenstuds]

Thanks that's really helpful. Maybe I'm trying to run before I walk by having him bath with his big brother at 8pm. An earlier BT might be better all round, at least till he is napping better in the afternoon. What you say about being OT in afternoon is very true and so maybe tackling the third nap (bringing it forward and aiming for a longer rest) as well as an earlier BT.
Thanks

[katie80]

Sounds like a good plan... let me know how it goes!