14 week old waking more often

[melloyello]

Hi there, I am hoping someone can help me out with my LO's night wakings which have become a lot more frequent in the last couple of weeks. She is 14 weeks old.

Previously she would wake 2x to eat between 7:30 pm and 7:30 am and then was right back to sleep. We do not do a dreamfeed as it seemed like it wasn't really helping and would cause her to wake more often. Lately she is waking up to 4x but I can tell she is not always hungry because sometimes she will fuss a bit and then settle herself back to sleep, or I can soothe her back to sleep with a bit of shh/pat. The thing is, I feel like we are doing everything "right" and still not seeing an improvement in her nighttime sleep! She does not feed to sleep, we don't rock/bounce her to sleep, she doesn't use a paci. She goes into her crib awake and will suck on her fingers a bit and goes off to sleep on her own. The times she does settle herself in the night, I'm guessing this is what she is doing but I'm just not sure why she is waking and crying out in the first place! No two nights are ever the same, she wakes at no consistent time. The longest stretch she has ever done is 6 hours.

We are battling lots of short naps right now so the daytime is a bit messy but here is what our EASY usually looks like:

WU 7:30
E 8 am (often not hungry for this feed)
A 7:30-9
S 9-10:30
E 10:30
A 10:30-12
S 12-2:00/2:30 (she usually takes her longest nap here, I wake her if more than 2.5 hrs)
E 2:00/2:30 whenever she wakes
A 2-3:30
S 3:30-4:15 (almost always short)
E 4:30
A 4:15-5:45
S 5:45-6:15
E 6:30
A 6:15-7:45
E 7:30
S 7:45

Is there anything in this routine that sticks out? Like I said, it's not always consistent. Sometimes the second nap of the day will be short if we are out and then she will take a third longer nap. We also have been getting some weird nap lengths of 55 min or 1 hr 10 min and I'm not really sure what that means?

I have no problem feeding her once or twice through the night, it's the other wakings I'm concerned about and the fact that her longest stretch is only about 4.5 hours. Maybe I should try the DF again?

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

[katie80]

There isn't really anything that sticks out huglely for reasons for NWs.  With the number of naps she takes, however, I wouldn't let her sleep over 2hr for any one unless she is making up for a shorter one earlier in the day.  I wonder if that long second nap is throwing her off a bit, putting her in an UT/OT loop for the next couple cycles and then messing up her night a bit.  I also think the fact that you are starting to get some 55min-1h10min naps shows that she could use a bit more A time, esp in the afternoon.  So, start pushing toward 1h40min or so and see if that starts to help.  By 4mo, the avg A is 1h45m-2h, so she could need a little bit more right now.

See if that helps at all.  Otherwise, my guess is that she's waking more in the night due to developmental reasons, becuase it sure does look like you're doing everything 'right.' (((Hugs)))

[melloyello]

Thanks so much! I agree that I think she may be getting OT by bedtime and that is messing things up. She has refused the catnap the last two days which hasn't helped at all! It's very tough to AP a nap for her since she won't sleep in the swing, stroller or car so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do with that nap!

Will try pushing the A times a bit and see if that helps. I'm assuming I would only do this if the previous nap is a good one (like 1.5 hrs or more)? For her first nap today I put her down at 1.5 hrs A time and she really didnt seem all that tired but then went to sleep easily BUT then woke after 45 min and then resettled! Lol. So I'm having a hard time figuring out those A times!

[katie80]

Yes, sounds like she might need a little push, even by 5-10min.  And yes, you'd only do that after a full nap.  Keep me posted...

[melloyello]

We've had a few days of better naps with an A time increase of 5-10 min which is great! Nights are still hit and miss. Had a couple nights with only one NW and feed but then last night she was up 3x and I had to feed her at every one! (Her room is right beside DS's and she is LOUD when she wakes so I can only try resettling for so long with her crying before she wakes DS, especially as it gets closer to morning). I can't figure out if there's a link between our daytime and the night we have, it doesn't really seem like it.

I'm really struggling with the catnap as it seems our day isn't long enough for it and it's so tough to get her to sleep then, by the time I do it's too late in the evening!

Here is our EASY from yesterday:

WU 7:30
E 8:15
A 7:30-9:10 (1 hr 40 min)
S 9:10-10:30 (1 hr 20 min)
E 10:30
A 10:30-12:10 (1 hr 40 min)
S 12:10-2:15 (woke up at 45 min but resettled after 10 min)
E 2:15
A 2:15-4 (1 hr 45 min)
S 4-5 (1 hr)
E 5:15
A 5-7:15 (2 hr 15 min)
E 7:15
S 7:15

Then she woke at 9:45 which is really unusual. She doesn't usually wake till after 11 but she didn't take a great feed at bedtime so I fed her, woke again at 1:30 but resettled, woke at 2:30 and I fed her, woke at 5:45 and fed just a bit before back to sleep till 7:20.

She could be overtired before bedtime, she's refusing the catnap most nights, but out day would be pretty short if I put her to bed earlier. Naps are longer overall but not consistent so our E times are all over the place too. I think she would do best on a 3.5 hour eating schedule because she isn't all that hungry before that.

[amayzie]

How's she gone the last couple of nights hon?

[melloyello]

We've had 2 night feeds the last few nights which I am ok with (although really looking forward to getting down to one!) and then usually one other waking which we can resettle for. Guess I'm just wondering if I should only be feeding once at this point and trying to resettle for all other wakings??

[katie80]

Hi hon, so sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you!

Guess I'm just wondering if I should only be feeding once at this point and trying to resettle for all other wakings??

At this age, two NFs is really normal.  I wouldn't be worried about it at all.  Is she BF or FF?  Both my kids still had a DF and NF at this age and didn't drop one of them until 6-7mo.  I then kept the DF til 9-10mo, until I felt they were eating well with solids.

The EASY looks pretty good to me.  I wonder if she might be able to do just a tad more A time, as you're still not getting full naps on 1h40min, but it's up to you.  I guess I'm just thinking if you could even out the others a bit more, then that last one wouldn't end up being so long.  What do you think?

[melloyello]

She is BF. My DS was similar in that we had the DF and one NF until 7 months and then he dropped them both in a matter of weeks. I guess I'm finding it tougher with this one because she never took to the DF so I'm getting up 2x in the night still, and more some nights! We had a very unsettled night last night where she woke a few times and cried out for a minute. Sometimes she goes back to sleep on her own, other times with a bit if shh/pat. We had no catnap again yesterday so she did 2.5 hours A till bedtime so OT might have been to blame for the bad night. I will try extending A a bit more but I don't think she will make it past 1.45. I agree that last A needs to be shorter though.

Oh my, just went into her room where she was on her back playing only to find her on her tummy! Lots going on developmentally right now so hopefully some of that is to blame!

[katie80]

I'm sure the developmental stuff has to do with it too.  There's so much going on at her age!

Is there any way you can AP the CN?  In the stroller, carrier, swing, etc? As long as my kids were going to sleep independently for other naps and BT, I never had an issue with APing that last nap so as to get to a decent BT without a bunch of OT.

[melloyello]

We have a hard time APing with her as she won't do motion naps (car, swing etc) but I can sometimes get her to fall asleep in the sling which is what I had previously done for the CN. It's just gotten a lot harder lately!

Sometimes she doesn't wake from her third nap until 4:30 though which means we wouldn't be doing a CN until 6 or so. Do you think it's better to do a CN and push bedtime later or skip it and bring BT earlier?

[katie80]

Sometimes she doesn't wake from her third nap until 4:30 though which means we wouldn't be doing a CN until 6 or so. Do you think it's better to do a CN and push bedtime later or skip it and bring BT earlier?

It really depends on the kid, so you might have to try both ways and see what happens.  I most often went for an early BT, but both of mine did long nights on that, 12-13hr.  Some LOs don't, so then you might be best trying to sneak in a CN until those A times get a little longer and the naps follow suit.  But, if she keeps fighting the CN, you might not have much of a choice. . She wakes around 7:30, right?  So, even if you did 20-30min at 6pm, that would get you to a 7:30/8 BT. 

Remember too, you don't have to lengthen all the A times.  It seems from your last EAS that even adding a bit to the second and third might help as those are the naps that are either interrupted at 45min or shorter (1hr).

[melloyello]

We seem to be getting lots of 45 min naps no matter what the A time is so I'm chalking that up to something developmental! I remember with DS we had a long run of short naps around this age no matter what we tried and it eventually righted itself. I did manage a CN last night though (she probably only went down ok because of the short naps all day!) which left us with 1.5 hours A till bedtime and we had a more settled night. She did a 5 hour stretch from 7:30-12:30 (which is the longest she's done in awhile) at which point I fed her, she woke again at 3:30 but resettled on her own quickly, woke at 4:30 so I figured she was hungry and fed her and then she was up for the day at 7. Not too bad.

[katie80]

Not too bad at all!   And yes, 45min naps are SUPER common at this age.  But, if they end up getting you a better might, may not be so bad!

[melloyello]

Another decent night followed by a day of short naps and a CN! The 45 min naps are frustrating but this time I'm not stressing over it like I did with DS. If I can't get her back to sleep within a couple minutes I'm just getting her up and carrying on. Don't have the time to try and extend for ages with DS to tend to and it's not like she's cutting into my "Y" time (what's that??! Lol).

It will be tricky to get to a 4 hour EASY and 3 naps if she keeps up with the 45 min thing though!

Thanks for your advice.

[katie80]

You're welcome!

Don't have the time to try and extend for ages with DS to tend to and it's not like she's cutting into my "Y" time (what's that??! Lol).

LOL, I get that!

She'll come out of the 45min naps eventually and you'll get to a 4hr EASY.  It may be later than some, but that's ok.  True whispering is listening to your baby's needs and responding appropriately and respectfully, while still keeping the rest of your family in context.  You'll get there!