Hi there, (((hugs))) on all the NWs. She's definitely in need to more A time. At her age, I would expect her to be staying awake at least 1h30min, possibly up to 1h40. Here is a good guide...
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME! . I also think she could go til 7:45/8pm after her CN (you may be trying to put her down too early and that's why she's resisting, although I'm not exactly sure what you meant by her being awake for 3hr at that point. Does she typically go down well for BT or is she awake from then?
I would definitely start moving her to a 3.5hr feeding routine and pushing the A time will help with that. You may need to offer more oz at each feed while you do that.
It does sound like she's going through some develomental milestones too. I would guess she still needs the swaddle and is 'thrashing' about mainly because she's getting more mobile, not because she doesn't need it, but that's up to you. I'd say average swaddle weaning age is more around 5-6mo, but some do it earlier. I think getting the A time right might help with some of the unsettled naps as well.
Hope that helps... let me know what you think!