Never able to get out due to breastfeeding... getting stir crazy

[Violet's mom]

I EBF my 5.5mo old LO.  Her EASY is a little tricky for 2 reasons:  1.  If I give her more than 1hr 45min A time in the morning, she only naps for 35-45 min.  Otherwise she sleeps for 1.5hr nap.  I've been trying to increase this A time but it just doesn't seem to be working.
2.  She often needs a top up before a least one of her sleeping times.  I don't let her nurse to sleep but she will sometimes be a bear to put down so I BF for 5 minutes then go down much happier for her nap.

My question is about night time.  She still clusterfeeds like crazy and it makes me crazy because I can never leave.  She refuses the bottle since she was 3 months old and there was a babysitter mishap.

E 6:45 am
A
example E 8:15am
S 8:30am - 10:15am
E 10:30am
A
S 12:30pm
E 2:30pm
A
S 5:00pm -5:40
 This is where it gets crazy!  I would appreciate help adjusting my schedule...  (I thought GS but its been about a week or so)
        Yesterday:            Today                                                        A few days ago
E      5:40                      4:45pm (then sleep at 5pm)                     5:30pm
A
E      7:00                      6:45pm                                                     7:30pm
S
E                                    8:30pm                                                     9:45pm

Night feeding anywhere from 2 to 4 (depending on wet diaper/leg getting stuck in crib/too tired to roll over etc)
 
I've been told my a times are way low but violet has always been a sleepier child (people used to ask me if she was EVER awake as a newborn) and gets OT really easily.  It throws her off for DAYS if she has too long of A times.  She gives very clear sleepy signs and very clear hungry sounds.   

I appreciate your feedback!

[Shiv52]

Bumping up for you

[jessmum46]

Hi

I'm a bit unclear from what you posted as to what happens at the end of the day in terms of sleep?  She has a catnap 5-5.40, then what happens after that? 

I do think she probably needs a routine change......but I will be able to help you a little more once I know what is happening for the whole day.  I EBF too so hopefully can give you a few thoughts there as well x

[Violet's mom]

I am a bit unsure what happens too - she usually cluster feeds but her times are all over the place and never the same.  Sometimes she cluster feeds twice, sometimes she wakes for a third cluster feed.  I just can't seem to get it right.


On a side note, we were able to give her a bottle last night of 5.5 oz of EBM at 7:15 and she didn't wake up at all for another cluster feed.  Maybe she is just hungry and my breasts are slow at producing at night?  I pumped 6+ oz around 9pm (last breast feed was 4pm).

Thanks so much!

[*Ali*]

Also I imagine it is only a couple weeks before you introduce solids and while that is unlikely to contribute many calories at first at least it might help with snacking and someone else can give it to her.

[weaver]

Do you mean you want to go out in the evening? Or that you feel house-bound during the day? 

There's no reason not to feed her out and about in day time.  I remember feeling this would never happen because eating came right after sleep but one day I just got LO up, popped in buggy and ran out the door.  Sat down in café with friends and fed while I had my lunch.  If you can do buggy naps, there's no need to stay at home all the time because you're BFing.  Well done on getting this far, by the way

[jessmum46]

What I meant was what time does she go to bed after that catnap from 5-5.40?  Sorry if I wasn't clear before . I'm just trying to see if overtiredness (or undertired) could be playing a part in your issues?

Also, how does she normally go to sleep?  Is she more often than not breastfed until drowsy/nearly asleep? 

[Violet's mom]

Jessmum - she goes to bed around 7:30 depending on how she naps during the day.  Often she can go down as early as 6:45 if she is really tired.  However lately it's been more around 7:30/7:45.

No I breast feed her when she wakes up - I only give her a top off if she is really inconsolable (once every couple of days) DH is really good about getting her to bed at night so she is not tempted!  She's actually great about putting herself to sleep unless hungry.

Weaver - No I go out during the day often - she doesn't sleep well in her carseat or buggy anymore though.  I just haven't been able to go out in the evening and could really use a girl's night or date night.


Thanks Ali - that's something to think about!

[Buttonbobs]

Any chance you could pump and store a little so that someone else could give a bottle of EBM so you can have a night off, possibly pump enough for two feeds just in case?

[BstnMelody]

Bottle-feeding is what I do to avoid being stuck cluster-feeding for hours. My LO won't go down unless she has a very full belly. One night, she clusterfed from 6pm till almost 9pm when we had company over for dinner. I finally got so fed up that I made a bottle for her. She downed 2.5oz, passed out, and wasn't up until the next morning at 6am. This made me realize that I just didn't have enough BM to fill her up in one shot that late in the day. I tried for over a week to increase my production in the evening, but haven't been successful. I was getting really stressed about it, but then decided to go easier on myself. So now I either use milk I pumped after one of my early morning feedings (when she tends not to fully drain me) or I make a bottle of formula. When its time for her last feeding, I feed her once on each breast, then switch over to the bottle of BM or formula until she falls asleep. Its made my life much less stressful. A few nights, I even have skipped BF and gone exclusively bottle so that I could go out to dinner, and it worked great.

Hope this is helpful!

[Violet's mom]

Thanks ladies.  My LO hates the bottle and she is so inconsistent with it.  We are really working this week to get her to take one every night...  I hope we can but she used to take a bottle of EBM until there was a babysitter mishap when she was almost 4 months old.  That's mainly why I've been so stir crazy for the past couple of months!

[jessmum46]

How are you doing? 

[weaver]

Hello again, V's mom, just to say my LO2 was/is a bottle-free baby.  I religiously stayed in until the night I didn't... 

Simply, DP put her down just like it was for a nap and I fed her when I got in.  So I wasn't out all that long but I was able to leave before bedtime and return after 9 with a minimum of distress for everyone, had a good three hours or so on the outside with grown-ups!! Might work for you?

[Violet's mom]

Thanks weaver - I've been tweaking things lately so she has an early afternoon feeding so it is helping.  How old was your LO when you had a four hour easy?  I still can't get mine on one and I'm just wondering if that's ok - some of the other wonderful ladies on this site have let me know sometime EBF babies don't get on a four hour easy until solids are established.

[weaver]

It really depends on the baby.  My LO1 was about 4.5 months (though he probably should've waited) and LO2 was definitely 5 months, but liked to add in the occasional snack during the day.  Go by your baba, if she's happy, and you're happy with her, then do what you're doing.

For the 4 hour EASY, I'd focus on A times and sleeps and keep feeding her every 3/3.5 hours or whatever she needs.  She may well be ready for that activity and sleeping rhythm but not to drop a feed. You might find you can get her to do a 'classic' 4 hour EASY but only if you add in a snack at some point.  Don't drop feeds until you're sure she's ready.  It can mess up night sleep and you really don't want to do that!