Is 3 weeks too early to start sleep training?

[acelizzy]

My son is 3 weeks old and was on a very predictable 3 hour schedule even at night.  We hadn't found the baby whisperer but were swaddling him after feedings so he could wake up a bit after falling asleep during the feeding before putting himself back to sleep.  He did very well at night feeding every 3-4 hours and sleeping at least 2hrs at a time.  At the 3 week mark he appeared to be fussier than normal, and hungrier, so we assumed it was a growth spurt as they say it goes 10days-3weeks-6-weeks 3mths-6mnths....  First night he had to be shushed back to sleep and then was getting up every 1 or 2hrs.  Then the next day he was waking up every 20 minutes during naps, and at his  bed time.  We do have a routine since we thought it would be helpful, but nothing.  The thing that confuses me is that when we put him on his stomach (we have a video monitor) he can sleep and nap just as he did before.  But in the swaddle (even though we are following the 4's and swaddling after setting the stage) he is getting very upset, and even more upset when being put down.  He appears to be rooting, and will eat but then fall asleep on the breast, that is until he's put down which is when he will cry.  I'm a little confused.  If he's going through a growth spurt should he all of a sudden not want to be swaddled and put on his back.  And shouldn't he still cry for more food when on his stomach, instead of sleeping VERY peacefully?  Please help this father out.   

[Nauvoo]

3 weeks ismvery early ro sleep train. sometimes it feels like all you can do to survive is whatever works. likely the 20 min naps are caused by jolts waking him up. I found it helpful in the early months to stay with LO until she got past the 25min mark.  and it is likely that on his stomach his jolts are as strong. I also noticed this with both my girls but the only time they napped on theirmstomach was when I was right next to them.  in time the jolts get weaker and the swaddle does a great job at helping get longer naps.
and you are around the 3 week mark so waking more often to eat may be a growth spurt. it all sounds so normal for the early days. hang in there!

[Layla]

Yes, I think 3 weeks is too early to sleep train. We didn't start until 6 weeks and even then we did a modified version of shh/pat (start in arms and pat gently as being placed in cot).  I concentrated on 1 good nap and the rest were very short. Newborns have very short sleep cycles and find it hard to transition between sleep cycles and in reality it may not be for another 3/4 months before babies learn and do fall asleep on their own between sleep cycles.

I fed on demand and didn't believe in spacing out feeds until close to 2 months. The baby sleep/feed cycles are going to be noredictable in the beginning and it is only natural for the baby to fall asleep by the breast.
Don't be afraid to help your baby fall asleep....if he needs to be rocked a little before he is asleep, that is fine and when he gets a little older you could start sleep training gradually. This is the approach I took and that was a lot less stressful for us and now my lo wants nothing to do with me and will asleep on her own in her cot.

[jessmum46]

Pretty much all naps here were in the car, pram, arms or bouncy seat until much closer to 3 months x

[acelizzy]

Thank you all for your advice and kind words.  He is now four weeks old.  He is still not doing too well with naps, but is sleeping fairly consistently at night, evening feed, and two night feeds.  The part that I'm not sure about is didn't Tracy recommend keeping the same routine for naps?  So is placing him all over the house, the "best" option, or the "survival" option (and don't get me wrong, we are ALL ABOUT SURVIVAL).  Also I found it helpful to hear that I'm not "failing" as a father for letting him fall asleep while feeding then putting him down.  At the same time I am concerned about developing habits that will be tough to break later on.  Does BW have an age where she says to start, or does everyone pretty much start when they feel comfortable (haven't read the book, but just ordered it on amazon).  Oh and Last question (sorry) do you guys wake up your LO's for the morning feed to keep the schedule and make sure they can tell the difference between day and night, or do you just let them sleep and hope they figure things out?  Once again you guys are better than awesome for taking time out to help little old pops...

[jessmum46]

So glad you are getting good nights - it makes you feel a bit more human doesn't it?

You are right that Tracy did say to start as you mean to go on, BUT what many of us have found is that trying to have all naps happen in the crib at such a tiny age is incredibly hard work and you can feel like you are spending all your time trying to get LO to sleep.  The advice about naps wherever is very much survival advice - for myself I feel that the well-being of parents is every bit as important as the well-being of LO, and that the early days should be for enjoying your time and cuddles, not stressing about developing the perfect routine or habits. 

As I said above, DD had very few naps in the crib until nearer 3/4 months of age.  She was also fed to sleep a lot in the early days, partiularly at BT and I continued to feed until very drowsy at BT for quite sometime.  Gradually she woke up more after feeds and we adapted to avoid feed to sleep.  But it took time.  I absolutely believe (and think Tracy would have said too) that you need to do what works for your family, and that means teaching independent sleep if and when you feel ready.  I now have a fiercely independent sleeper - can't help her go to sleep if I try!!

At this age I never woke DD but again it has to be what you are comfortable with.  A gentle way to try to establish WU time could be to allow a WU 'window' of say 30 mins either side of your ideal time, treating anything before that as a NW and waking LO if they reach the later limit.

Hope that helps, please just ask if we can help more