help lo waking every half an hour through the night!

[lyssie28]

Please help o can tfunction properly anymore.  My 19 week old daughter has started waking every half an hour and shell only go back to sleep if she gets some milk and then just for half an hour.  Her easy is non existant now and ive syarted just putting her down as soon as she tired which is normally about an hour and a half to an hour and 45.  But her naps are fine she will sleep up to 2 hours.  Its just on the nighttime.  I am going to put her in her cot tonight incase its because shedoesnt like her basket anymore as shes getting big for it.  How can i help her sleep? She always wants milk when she wakes if i stop giving her some will she go back to normal 1 or 2 feeds? I think she may be teething too as she wont take her bottles through the day.  Please help im exhausted!

This is what her easy was:

Wu 7.00
E she wont eat in morning
S8.30

E10.00
S11.30-11.45

E2.00
S3.30

E6.00
Bath 7.00
S7.30

She started okay with her bedtime but that has gone now and she sleeps about 9 and wakes at midnight where the half hour wakings start.

[Layla]

Yikes, sorry to hear you're having so many night wakings

At this age, I would probably still keep 2 night feeds but there is no need to feed her every 1/2 hour.... so you could feed say at midnight and then again around 4-5 am but for all the other wakings, I would use shh/pat to help her settle as it sounds like she may have a feed-to-sleep association.

With the EASY you posted, is that what she is doing now? If not, could you please post what her days looks like? If this is her current routine, I wonder if she's sleeping too much during the day as it looks like she's taking 3 long naps, is that right? If yes, you probably need to look at cutting some of her daytime sleep (mainly the last nap, which is only meant to be a catnap approx 45 mins long) as she may also be waking from not being tired enough to sleep through. And if I am not reading that correctly, and her last nap is indeed a catnap, then it will need to be moved a little later (the naps will need to be spread out a little) so that she is not awake for 3.5hrs before bedtime (if bed is 7.30) or if I am reading it right, she's awake until 9pm.. which is what might also be causing all the frequent night wakings (my LO is 4 mo and she can only do 2-2.5hrs, with the longest A time before bedtime).

It is possible that she's not comfortable in the basket anymore but I think if you look at tweaking your daytime sleep, you might find she won't be waking up as much anymore.

So I would look at trying to stretch out her A times so that her day looks something like this:
7am - wu
9-10.30 - morning nap
12.30-2 - afternoon nap
4-4:45 - catnap
7pm - sleep

Let me know what you think

[lyssie28]

Thank you! Yes that was what she was doing.  She would have 3 long naps a day but i wouldnt let her sleep more than 2 hours at a time.  I think you are right, she is sleeping too much through the day and i hope that it fixes her nighttimes.  She finds it hard to stay awake for 2 hours but i'm goin to gradually increase her wt each day.  I have just put her down for a nap after being awake for 1hr45 and she fell straight to sleep i'm hoping she will have a good nap.  Now that you have mentioned her wake times i was thinking back to the days when she had less naps accidentally (say because i was out somewhere and she missed her nap) they were harder days for me because she seemed so touchy and grumpy but she did have good nights sleep from 7.30 until about 12 for a feed (she flatly refuses a dream feed) and then up again at 3 or 4.  I will still transfer her to her cot and i think there is also the fact that it is hot here at the minute and possibly teething that is interfereing but it is mainly her wt i think.  I will give it a try :-)

[Layla]

Good luck and please let me know how you're going. 

[lyssie28]

She had a better night last night but still woke up every 1hr to 2 hours in her cot.  Not sure if it was because she was unsure in her cot though. Maybe she needs a few more nights to get more comfortable with it.  She went to bed ok at about 8pm and she took a feed at about half 10.  She then woke at midnight, 2.30 when i give her a feed, around about 4 then every hour after until she wouldnt go back to sleep at 6.15. I kept her up for at least an hour and a half for her first nap putting her dow  at 7.45.  I wanted to get it closer to 2 hours but she was really tired.  I will try to keep her up at least 1hr45 again and hopefully she'll sleep tonight.  I am not sure what to do anymore.  My sister tried the cry it out method when her daughter was 6 months old and she ended up sleeping through the night after 5 nights but i am hesitant to try this as she is still only 4 months and i dont like to leave her crying for long.

[Layla]

(((hugs)))

Does she sleep in the cot during the day or is this the first time she's been in the cot? So she had around 10hrs of broken sleep at night. I would recommend an earlier bedtime to help her catch up on some sleep.... when they are overtired, they need a few days (or maybe more) to catch up on sleep and the best way to do that is an earlier bedtime. So would you be able to post for me what her day looks like today when its over? Don't push her the whole 2 hrs because she is already overtired but I would definitely limit her daytime sleep and don't let her sleep any more than 2hrs for the morning and afternoon nap and no more than 45 mins for the catnap. So something like this:

6.15 - awake
7:45-9:45 - morning nap
11.30 - 1.30 - afternoon nap
3.30-4:15 - catnap
6.30 - bedtime

Even with 2x2 hr naps and a catnap, that might be too much daytime sleep but at this stage, lets trim the last nap and move her bedtime to an earlier hour, which should help!

And there is no need to let her CIO, which can break the trust between the child and parent. And there is no need to do that. What you did last night was great! You pick a time when you will feed her and for the other waking, you help her settle.

Your days might start early but once she's caught up on sleep, it will be easier to stretch her A time and we can move her day forward so that her wake up time is close to 7am again 

[lyssie28]

So far today has been like this:

Wu 6.15
S7.45-9.15

S11.10-1.20

S3.10 cat nap will wake her after 45 minutes.

The first and second naps were okay.  I couldnt keep her up any longer for the cat nap.  What do i do aboit her bedtime? If she wakes at 4 i suppose i could put her down at 6.15 if she can make it.  She seems incredibly tired this afternoon and was very moany and grumpy.  Im not sure if its the heat, her bad night last night or teething.

She sleeps in her cot now for all of her naps.  I spent a few days getting her used to it.  At first she only slept for 45 mins at a time but now she's sleeping for her whole nap without waking.  I also still swaddle with a towel either side of her in the cot because she has discovered rolling and will do it all the time and wont sleep. Im hoping if i put her to bed at 6.15 she wont be ip too early tomorrow morning!

[lyssie28]

Update on her nw.  She was asleep by 7.30. I put her down at 6.15 but woke up after half an hour amd took half an hour to get her back down.  She slept until 11 and woke for feed and straight back to sleep.  Then she woke at 12.30 and every hour until about 5 and then she slept until 7.  It is easy to get her back over when she wakes but how do i stop her waking? She only had 2 long naps yesterday instead of 3 and her cat nap was 30 minutes.  We do a nice bt routine with bath and massage and then cuddles and a final bottle.  She does sleep for ul to 5 hours before waking but then its just after those 5 hours.

[Layla]

Yep, I read somewhere that the 1st part of night sleep consists predominantly of deep non-REM sleep and the rest of the night they go in and out of light non REM and REM sleep...or something like that and that's why you might be getting more night wakings in the 2nd part of the night, where at every arousal, she can't get back to sleep (the arousal part is normal and all babies and adults do it but the babies that know how to put themselves back to sleep will just move a little and then put themselves back to sleep.... just as we might turn over, fluff our pillow or something like that before we go back to sleep).

How do you respond to her when she wakes at night. I think it may just be a matter of consistency.

Also I was going to suggest sticking to 2 night feeds for now - say the midnight feed and then feed her again around 4am and settle for the other wakings

 

[lyssie28]

When she wakes through the night i go to her and give her her soother which normally works and if not and she cries then i just gently shhhhh in her ear or sing a lullaby in a whispery voice.  I am going to try and wait a bit before going in her room and letting her fuss a little.  How can i teach her to sleep on her own? As i said previously i dont want to just let her cry it breaks my heart and i feel guilty.  As she gets older will her deep sleep increase naturally so shell sleep longer periods?

[Layla]

Do you think the soother is a prop? If you have to plug it in every hour, sounds like it might be? Would you consider sleep training without it altogether? You can let her fuss a little but if she's starting to cry (and its one of those "I need you" cry, then you go to her).... and her crying whilst you're with her is different to CIO because you're there with her, teaching her how to put herself to sleep. Crying is expected when sleep training. If she doesn't learn how to fall asleep on her own, the problem will continue.... I am sure she'll outgrow one day but not sure when.

Is there anything else going on? Is she sick or does she have any health issues at the moment (ear infection, etc....). Before she started waking every night, was she a good sleeper? Did anything change for this to happen?

[lyssie28]

Yes i think she has become dependant on the soother so i'll try getting her to sleep without it.  If i shush her to sleep is this helping her learn how to sleep on her own?

Before about a month ago she sleept great, only waking at about 3 or 4am for a feed and straight back to sleep.  The only thing different now is i think she is teething.  She used to just wake up and fuss a little until i went to her but now she cries when she wakes and wakes alot more. 

[Layla]

If i shush her to sleep is this helping her learn how to sleep on her own?

Here's a link to the shh/pat method. It isn't a prop and it will teach her how to fall asleep on her own
Shush-pat - How to
Why are Shush Pat and PU/PD not props?

I think I might have mentioned earlier that my DD2 was a paci addict and we had a love and hate relationship with it. Loved it because it would send her to sleep like nothing else and hated it because she needed it to put herself back to sleep and it was around 4 months that I noticed she waking up at night alot more than before and wanting me to pop it back in... so I decided to get rid of it altogether... and for us it was a hard 2 weeks of nightwakings and shh/patting and lots of tears but after it was gone, she was only waking every 4-6 hrs for a feed (2 night feeds).

How did things go last night?

[lyssie28]

I gave in and gave her it  she woke about 5 times from 12.45 amd i fed her every time to get her to sleep. I know i shouldnt have done but i didnt want her to wake my partner because  he was at work early.  Tonight i have to be stronger and not give in! Its hard through the night because im not thinking straight i just want to sleep but ill try again tonight and only feed her twice.

[Layla]

(((hugs))), it's not easy to sleep train.

Is she in your room or in her own room?

See how you go tonight but start as you mean to go on as your LO will learn best if you do

[lyssie28]

She is in our room.  I will keep trying and be consistant.  I realise that it might include her crying a bit untill she gets used to it and ill try not to give in.  I will set times for her feed and try without her soother.