13.5 mth LOTS of nw, like having a newborn again!

[beckybraun]

For the past 3 weeks my 13.5 month old spirited baby girl has been having 5-10 nw a night.  I am so sleep deprived I need someone who can think clearly to help me figure out what to do.  She was never the best sleeper but Had a lovely 3 month stretch where if she did wake she would self settle in about 2 minutes.  Well those days are long gone.  Her EASY for the 3 month good stretch is was this:
6:45 wake
7:00 breakfast (never really ate much)
8:45 bottle
9:15 nap (I would wake by 10:30 to get pm nap morning sync with my 3 year olds)
10:30-11:30 play
11:30 lunch
1:15 bottle
1:30-3:30 nap (always woke her by 3:30)
5:00 dinner
6:30 bath followed by bottle snugglesand bed
7:15 usually asleep( sometimes I would sit in her room if she wasn't settling right away but would always be able to leave before she fell asleep.

Now the past few weeks she wakes by 6, am nap by 9:30, I have been waking 45-1hr later, pm nap asleep by 2, never sleeps, longer than 3:30 even if I leave her be.  For 1 week I found if she wasn't asleep by 7:30, it was gonna be a rough night.  Now it doesn't seem to matter, they are all bad nights.  1st nw usually between 10:30-11:30, next 1:30ish usuallyshe is awake 45-1hr here. Then nw around during 4, then 5.  If we go in her room she calms down right away but needs us to put her back to sleep by rubbing her back or just a hand on her back, but if I think she is asleep and slowly remove my handshe wakes again. 

I have NO IDEA what to do. It's affecting everyone in the house, even our cat is grumpy lol.   I feel like I have a newborn all over again!

[McSquirtle]

Perhaps your on the way to dropping to 1 nap? It does look that way, she's having quite a lot of day time sleep. Can you push that am one a little or keep it really short and then do a longer one in the pm? x

[beckybraun]

2 times I have just let her play and then put her down at 12:30.  She would wake at 45 minutes then up after a total of 1.5 hours.  Do you think I should just stick with the one nap for a week or so since we are getting crazy night wakings anyways?

[McSquirtle]

Sometimes it tricky to just go straight into 1 nap, but that might work for you. At the moment im doing a short am and long pm (my lo is 12m) as he can't quite stretch long enough for us to just do one long one around midday.
We do:
7:30am - up
10:30-11am - 1st nap
1:30-3:30 - 2nd nap
7/7:15pm - bedtime

Could you try similar? Alternatively some people do long am and short pm but I don't have any experience of that x

[beckybraun]

I would much prefer the long pm nap since that's when my 3yr old naps too.  I may try to limit am nap to 30 min instead of 45 for a few days.  I wasn't sure whether the nw were ot or ut or just plain developmental.

[Layla]

I agree with the schedule PP posted....i would do 9.30-10 morning and 1-2.30 afternoon and 6.30 bedtime. Once she catches up on sleep, you can slowly move your day forward to get a later wake up if that's what you want. She may also be teething which could cause her discomfort...

For us going down to 1 nap completely didn't happen until around 16 months or on the days my girls would miss the morning nap i used to let that be our 1 nap day and offer it around 11ish. If the nap was short i used to do earlier bedtime to compensate for the crappy nap day lol.

[beckybraun]

So today we had a 6:00 am start to the day.  Tried am nap at 9:00, she fell asleep by 9:36.  I woke her at 10:30.  Tried for pm nap at 1:30, asleep by 1:55, woke up at 2:25, I had to settle her and back to sleep by 2:50 and still sleeping now.  Usually I wake her by 3:30 but I really don't know what to try here. Since her pm nap is long but broken up.  What bedtime should I try for- especially since nights are so terrible.

[McSquirtle]

Is a 6am wake up usual or acceptable for you? It's tricky because I played it a lot differently with my lo and I have never allowed a nap before 10:30am (since about 7m) to keep the day on track. That in turn encouraged him to wake later in the mornings - however I'm lucky in that he copes with any OT well. I definitely think you need to push that first nap. It seems you're trying to put lo down to sleep at the 3hr mark but she's lasting at least 3.5hr all by herself so maybe she can push further? I think a shorter am might help you with a better pm. Last week I was doing x2 1hr naps but Isaac started early waking and resisting naps, this is almost the routine your lo is doing too so maybe you need to switch things up a bit. If she wakes at 3:30pm I'd do a 7pm bedtime.

[beckybraun]

So she woke at 3:45 on her own.  Very upset though, probably because the nap wasn't a solid one.  Before these 3 weeks of torture she would happily wake close to 7, and if she wasn't awake on her own I would get her up to start the day.  Quick question, did you mean asleep by 7 or bedtime wind down for 7:00.

[McSquirtle]

What time did you put her to bed after that 3:45pm wake? And did she settle easily? I've been doing asleep for about 7:15pm so we start our wind down at 6:30pm ish. Hope you have a better day today. I feel so trapped with our new routine, can't wait to just get onto one nap!

[beckybraun]

Well she was asleep by 7:30, even though we tried 15 min before.  I was thinking a 7:15 asleep would work.  Then the nw began: 8:15, 9:00,10:30, 11:45.  She did a decent stretch from about 12:30-5, the longest stretch of sleep for both of us in weeks.  But I couldn't resettle at 5:00 so she's been up since 5:00.  I took her to the Dr 2 weeks ago to check for an ear infection, gonna go today again to check again and also see if I can get reflux meds again( she hasn't needed them for over 6 months though but maybe a flareup?!).  I feel so useless. I'm gonna put her down for am nap at 9:00 (4hr A) and then hopefully head to the Dr.  after that.  I kind of hope something is wrong then at least I can treat it, if nothing is medically wrong then I don't know anymore.

[beckybraun]

So tried to get her down for am nap at 9:00, she fought all the way till 9:45, now she is asleep (4.45hr a time).  I can't get her in to the Dr till 1:50 this afternoon so hopefully she will sleep long this morning and I can get a cat nap in this afternoon.  So looks like for today we are trying long am short pm. Fingers crossed.  We have never had a 5:00 am start for the day she has always gone back down even if it was just for 1 hour so probably ot by morning nap? Does that sound right?